Broken
by DuckiePray
Summary: Two years after "Of Hope & New Faces", a rainy night, an uninvited guest, and old wounds collide. A look at how far the constant pressures in the turtles' lives push them to take out frustration with regretable consequences.
1. The Call

Editor's Note: If you want the back story on a couple of the characters in the following, it would be worth your time to read my first story, Of Hope & New Faces. For a simple point of reference,two years have passed in their timeline since the end of that story. I do not own the TMNT characters - as if I really needed to tell you that.

* * *

Luke hadn't planned on an extended visit at the hospital that night - he had actually only been coming in to pick up some mail that had been left, and discuss some of his availability with whoever happened to be supervisor on floor that night. What with several of the guys out of town, he'd wanted to make sure he got underground to see Donatello and Raphael before the day was over. Not that they _needed_ a baby-sitter for that matter - they were definitely old enough to take care of themselves for a few days.

The rare opportunity to get away with April had come up rather suddenly, and it had been like pulling teeth to get Michelangelo to agree to going, while Donatello stayed behind. It seemed that Donnie had been progressing well with the therapy for his knee, but knew his own limits well enough not to push it. When he had opted to stay behind, it took some serious persuasion to keep Master Splinter on the trip as well. In the end he had rather grudgingly agreed to Raphael staying behind, and gone ahead with the others.

They had left the night before, and were headed deep into the Adirondacks. With their remote location getting a cell signal could be next to impossible, even with the the boosters Donatello had installed on all of their phones. With everyone else "out of touch", Luke felt more of a responsibility to check in with Donnie and Raph. Instead, he'd been roped into a meeting with an old friend from med school, who had nearly tackled him the second he got in the door. His friend Marcus had long ago established himself as a resident at St. Joseph's, and had made a sure point to try and pull Luke in further every time their paths had crossed within the last couple of months.

So now he'd been sitting in his office for over half and hour, when he all he really wanted to do was get moving before the rain seriously picked up outside. As Marcus was just reaching the pinnacle of his passionate lecture, there was a knock at the door.

"Excuse me - there's a phone call for Doctor Barrows on 101." A young receptionist told them.

"Would you mind taking a message for me Andrea?" Luke asked her.

"Sir, the caller said it was _urgent. _It was hard to understand him, but he says his name is Rapha–"

"Thank you Andrea, I'll take it in the next office." He interrupted, bolting upright out of the chair.

As he hurried out of Marcus' office, the man slowly picked up his own receiver. He knew a special trick he could do with the conference calling that wouldn't make it obvious he was listening in. He felt guilty doing it, but Luke had become so disturbingly distant...and if he could find out whether his gut feelings were true, he could hopefully just lay these concerns finally to rest. He held his breath and listened in as Luke picked up in the next room.

"Raph? Are you there?"

"Doc..." A strained voice answered. "I'm...sorry. I _need_ you."

"Where are you? Are you hurt? Sick?"

"I was...over near 3rd and Main. I tried...there was..." As he trailed off Luke anxiously called after him.

"Raph! C'mon, stay with me buddy! Talk to me!"

"My head is _killing_ me...Doc...I don't know...I don't know how to find Don...I'm..."

"Raph slow down, focus. Focus. _What _happened?"

"The drug deal wasn't what...so many of them...I thought..." The caller wavered slowly, and at that moment Andrea ducked back into the room. Marcus dropped the receiver a little startled.

"Sir, you have a call on 102." She told him.

"Uh, thank you. Thanks." He stammered.

* * *

Luke was still trying to get Raph to talk coherently. "Were you beat up?"

"Yeah..."

"Where are you? Can you see anything?"

"I made it...up the stairs. Balcony."

"The apartment? Raph did you go to my apartment?"

"Yeah...it's so cold Doc. Everything is fuzzy...I'm tired..." He trailed off again, and this time no amount of urging on Luke's part could get him back. The doctor swore as he hung up the phone, and ran back to the other office to grab his jacket. Marcus was just asking someone if he could call him back as Luke was yanking his arms through the sleeves.

"Luke, what's up?" He asked.

"I have to go, _now_. It's an emergency."

"Anything I can do?"

"No." He answered shortly as he headed for the door. "I just have to get out of here."

Marcus followed him as he swiftly started down the hall. "Luke, are you gonna be okay?"

"You don't have to follow me Marcus - I told you I _have_ to go."

"Will you call me later?"

"Marcus, I'm leaving town. You want to help me - let the hospital know I'll be unreachable for the next week."

"Where are you going?"

"Marc, I don't have _time_ for the third degree - I'll call you in a week!" Luke jerked away from him, and hurried out of the building.

Marcus went back to his office, slowly pulling out his bottom drawer. Silently he fingered a copied key to Luke's apartment that he had lent to him a couple of years prior to...prior to everything falling apart. He felt extremely conflicted. He knew it was unethical (and illegal) to go into Luke's apartment, but he had a strong feeling Luke was in over his head in something. He dropped the key in his pocket, and packed up to leave his office.

* * *

Luke dialed Donatello the minute he got to his car, and the turtle answered on the second ring.

"Hello?"

"Donnie! Where are you, _right_ now?"

"I'm _home_ - Luke, what's wrong?"

"Raph called me at the hospital - you know my darn cell phone doesn't work in certain areas there. I think he tried to break something up tonight, got hurt in the process. He said he'd made it to my apartment, so that's where I'm headed. Have you heard from him?"

"No! He left like two hours ago, I hadn't heard a thing!"

"Okay, look - I'll be home soon, and I'll call you when I know anything! Just stay put for right now!"

"Okay." He answered with difficulty, and they both hung up.

Luke couldn't find good street parking, and some jerk had taken HIS paid for parking spot. He parked around the block, dashing back to his building through the spattering of a few rain drops. He was so pumped on adrenaline by the time he got upstairs, that he was literally shaking as he unlocked the door.

He went immediately to his balcony door, and found Raphael. He bent over him, anxiously checking for signs of life. The turtle was completely unconscious, pulse racing somewhat frantically. Gingerly he pulled him half way off the ground, and struggled to get him back through the door. Inside, he switched to a fireman's carry that Leo had taught him.

With a grunt of exertion, he lifted with his legs and carried Raphael to the back bedroom, yanking the comforter off the bed with some difficulty. He slowly lowered him to the mattress, and began scanning him all over for injuries. A severe gash that ran about four inches along the back of his skull was the most prominent injury he could immediately find, and he instantly began applying pressure with one hand. With the other he took some scans to get vital readings on his temperature and blood pressure.

He had several more lacerations, a lot of bruising, and his skin was very cold to the touch. Setting down his scanner he picked up his cell-phone with his free hand and speed-dialed Donatello.

"Doc? What's up?"

"I have him. He's unconscious - dealing with a nasty looking head injury - probably a concussion. Maybe some rib fractures...there's a lot of bruising and other lacerations. Pulse is a little erratic. He's messed up."

"I've been getting some things together Doc - I'm on my way up there!"

"You're sure you're up to it?"

"I'm _coming_ Doc."

"That's actually...probably a good idea. I'm a little limited in my formulas here."

"I'm bringing an array. I'll be there as soon as I can - I have a couple more things to get together."

"Okay, see you in a few." Luke replied swiftly, and hung up.


	2. Uninvited

Luke tore a long strip of gauze to staunch what was still bleeding of the gash, and hurried to turn off all the other lights in the apartment besides the back bedroom, as was his custom when he had "guests". Then he went back to Raphael and started pulling equipment out of the closet so he would be ready to go the second Donatello arrived. He kept a couple of spare medical pieces in his apartment for an emergency like this one - only he'd never actually needed it for one of them until _now_.

Truthfully he was incredibly nervous about the entire situation, and not just for fact that their security was threatened as long as the turtles stayed in his apartment. He wasn't stocked or well prepared with medication or a blood supply of any kind, and his own set-up here was no substitute for Donatello's Lab.

With a deep breath he pushed aside emotion, and started trying to address the most urgent of Raphael's needs.

At the same time, he could hear the rain picking up outside with driving force, and sighed heavily. He wished Donnie didn't have to be out in this at all, but he certainly couldn't leave Raphael by himself. He could have _tried_ to take him underground on his own, but Raphael had already dragged himself probably much farther than he should have, and he wasn't comfortable with the thought of moving him much more.

He'd reached the point where he needed to get some new water for cleaning. With a lingering glance at Raphael he crossed the doorway into the hall, just in time to hear a distinct click that only signified one thing - his front door had just been unlocked. His thought went immediately to Donnie, but the guys didn't have keys for the _front_, just the balcony. Silently he closed Raphael's door, and stole into his own room. Heart racing, he swiftly went to the closet safe, and checked the magazines in a 9mm. - the weapon he'd purchased the day he moved in. Under normal circumstances he didn't really think he would ever have had the guts to threaten someone with it (let alone shoot them), but the prospect of an intruder finding Raphael suddenly emboldened him.

Holding his breath, he walked very quietly toward the living area, where he could see a figure on his couch, his back facing him. The stranger was attempting to log into a laptop that Luke had left sitting on the coffee table earlier that day. As an act of sheer will, he brought the gun to bear, pressing the barrel suddenly to the man's head.

"Get up!" Luke ordered.

The man was clearly startled, and didn't dare move at once.

"Up! I said GET UP!" Luke insisted, "Hands where I can see them!"

"Luke, don't shoot. _Don't_ shoot - it's me." A familiar voice trembled, and it was Luke's turn to be shocked.

He yanked off the doctor's hat and swore at him. "_Marcus_? I don't believe this! Start moving - NOW!"

The man stood stock still, hands still raised. "Luke, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Will you put that thing down please?"

"No Marcus, I don't think I will. You clearly know your way in - so now I suggest you _give_ me back that key, and leave the same way."

"Luke, just listen to me, okay? I know it was wrong, I know that, but I–"

"This is not a heart to heart Marcus! You have ten seconds to get out that door."

"Luke we _have _to talk! I came here because I'm worried about you! You said you were leaving town so–"

"You thought you'd take up _residence_? I'm counting now. Ten."

"I _know_ something isn't right with you - I just want to help!"

"The only thing not right in this picture is YOU. Nine."

"C'mon Luke, you're not going to shoot me."

"I'm so messed up you had to break into my apartment. No telling WHAT I might do. Eight!"

Marcus opened his mouth to protest again, but no sound came out. His expression changed to one of pure shock, as Luke sensed someone behind him.

"Doc?" The creature/thing/alien wavered softly, and Luke turned in time to see Raphael stumble. He reacted instantly, barely catching him before he hit the floor. His eyes were dazed, expression utterly vacant. "Doc....where..."

"Shh. Don't talk Raph." Luke urged, and his friend went completely limp in his arms. With a cry of frustration, Luke struggled under his weight. "How _didn't_ I know I couldn't leave you alone for five _minutes_?" He grunted. Luke jerked with surprise as Marcus came on his other side and helped get him back upright. Luke shot him the most dangerous glare yet - but it was too late. The "cat", metaphorically speaking, was out of the bag.

"Where to?" Marcus asked.

"_Back bedroom_." Luke said under severe duress from being so angry. Carefully they carried him back down the hall to bed, and Luke immediately had to begin applying pressure from the damage Raphael had done in his jaunt. His friend moaned in pain at his touch, but didn't open his eyes.

"Sorry Raph." Luke said gently, but didn't lessen the pressure.

"I can see I made a huge mistake Luke. I can just–"

"Oh _no_ you don't! You're not going _anywhere_ now!" Luke interrupted. "You're going to stay put, until I figure out what the _heck_ I'm going to do!" He applied a little more gauze for the temporary fix, and glanced down as his phone buzzed. Donnie.

"Hey Don." He said rather unhappily.

"I'm almost there Doc - is Raph stable?"

"It's hard to say, I haven't gotten to _do_ a whole lot yet. I had an uninvited guest."

"Say _what_?"

"A doctor from St. Josephs' broke in to my apartment...he already saw Raph."

"We're _exposed_? Are you guys in trouble?"

"I'm in control for the moment, but I don't know what to do with him. Just get here, okay? I don't think it matters if he sees you at this point...and I kind of need you."

"I'll be there soon - just hang on."


	3. Old Wounds

Luke made Marcus go with him to retrieve the warm water he had tried to go get before, as well as a couple of other effects from the kitchen so he could get back to serious cleaning. He went to work very carefully on Raphael, while Marcus stood uncomfortably nearby, regretting the night more and more with every passing moment. He stiffened considerably when he heard a door slam, and a voice call out.

"Doc?"

Luke set the water aside on the tray and shook off his hands. "Be there in a second Donnie." He responded. Motioning once more to Marcus, they both went out to meet him. Marcus stared in open amazement at the soaking wet creature hesitating on the tile floor. He was trembling slightly as though cold, and Luke immediately grabbed him a couple of towels.

"Here Donnie, get out of that stuff, get warmed up." He urged.

"Thanks Doc." He said through clenched teeth, refusing to even acknowledge Marcus' presence. "Where's Raph?" He asked as he shrugged out of his cloak. Rain soaked fabric aside, the doctor could now make out a wrap brace covering his right leg from the knee to the calf. Luke's interest in ACL injuries over the last year suddenly made perfect sense.

"I got him in the back bedroom." Luke said, and Donatello fell into step with him. They began medical talk immediately, completely ignoring that Marcus was even there.

"How are his vitals?"

"The preliminary scan had his temperature in the low eighties...BP was 110/80. Pulse is still erratic..."

Don knelt down by the bed to examine his brother. "He feels _really_ cold Doc. That is a nasty gash - why is it always the _head_ with these people?" Before Luke responded, Don continued searching him. "I don't like the look of this bruising Doc."

"Neither do I. What did you bring with you?"

"Several things - need to get them refrigerated actually. You've got the IV set up I see. Has he lost a lot of blood?"

"Hard to say how much he lost enroute – I would expect it was a significant amount."

"I brought seven pints with me along with everything else - I could draw another if I need to."

"Will you set up the first transfusion while I deal with my_ problem_ in the kitchen?"

Donnie nodded, looking at Marcus briefly for the first time, and then quickly began attending to Raphael.

Luke snagged Marcus by the jacket, and yanked him physically out of the room. In the kitchen he shoved him forcefully against the fridge, all his pent up anger exploding.

"What are you _doing_ here Marcus?" Luke demanded.

"Right now, I'm trying to breathe." He rasped.

"I want the truth Marcus - NOW!" He said even more strongly, slamming both hands on either side of him.

"Okay! Okay, truth! I was scared for you! I thought you were caught up in...I don't know what. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I was scared. That's it. We were_ friends_ once, weren't we? Then with what happened to your parents...I saw you grieve so hard. I wanted to be there for you, I tried so hard, but you pushed me away, you pushed away everyone and everything.

Then, it was like something _changed_. You had a lift in your step again, I saw you smile. But you started being secretive, and disappearing for DAYS at a time. You pulled away even _more_. I thought you were in trouble. I had no idea, I couldn't have known...Luke I'm sorry..."

"You don't understand the position you've put me in Marc." Luke said with a heavy sigh. "You've _compromised _us. I honestly don't know what to do."

"If you're worried about me talking, you can stop. I won't tell anybody."

"I'd like to believe that. But it isn't really easy to trust you right now."

Marcus was about to speak, when a loud shout resonated across the apartment.

"DOC! Get _back_ here quick!"

Luke spun around without hesitation and ran out of the kitchen with Marcus directly on his heels. Heart racing, Luke entered the room to see Donatello hurriedly fingering through different formulas.

"He's going into shock," Donatello exclaimed without looking up. "BP has dropped drastically, eyes are dilated, cyanosis...tachycardia on top of it all!"

Luke had just finished taking Raph's pulse again while Donnie was talking. "This is my fault. I should have picked up on it on sooner."

"Actually that's probably _my_ fault." Marcus said weakly.

"It's not _about _fault, let's just get him stable!" Donatello said, holding out a medication he'd selected. "Noraphim. What do you think Doc?"

"I think it's our best option, but it would be better through the IV."

"Granted - but he's already getting a blood transfusion through it. Injecting it is more risky, but not as dangerous as leaving him in this position!"

"Absolutely...he has had this one hasn't he?"

"Once. I think we need to go a little heavy though by how fast his BP is dropping."

"I agree. You want to set the needle?"

"Seven units?"

"Let's hope it's a lucky number."

Donatello prepared the needle and then passed it off to Luke to find another vein. Marcus was completely intrigued by the entire situation, and their teamwork. Neither panicking, neither taking a clear lead. They worked seamlessly together to get the other one back into a stable condition. After the initial exchange they didn't do much talking, but each seemed to know what the other was thinking/needed without having to voice it. It reminded him of a well-oiled machine finding its' rhythm. The creature was profoundly intelligent - that much was obvious.

When Raphael was stable a few minutes later, Luke pulled Donatello over to truly meet Marcus.

"Donnie...this is Marcus Sloan, he's an MD from St. Joseph's." Luke told him, and then looked at Marcus. "This is Donatello...and that's Raphael. They can kick your butt a lot easier than I can, and don't need a weapon to do it."

"Duly warned." Marcus said nervously.

"Unless you're on the wrong side of the law you have nothing to worry about." Donnie answered wryly. "But then, you _did_ break in here didn't you?"

"Um, well...that is I..."

"Relax, the attack dogs don't come out unless Luke calls 'em." Donatello said with the first hint of a real smile.

"I think I'll hold off..._this_ time." Luke said, and then turned back to Donnie. "Can I take the stuff you brought to the kitchen, get it in the fridge?"

"Good idea. I'll get some of his scans set up with theyour desktop computer so we can see if there was any internal injury."

Luke left with Donatello's bag in hand, and Marcus stayed behind this time to watch while Donatello was booting up Luke's computer.

"I'm really sorry." Marcus ventured. "I thought Luke was in some kind of trouble. I never dreamed that it was anything like this."

"Most people don't dream about mutants." Don replied, typing without looking up.

"I just wanted to say that um, that I'm not going to tell anybody about this."

"I hope not." He replied wistfully. "The world at large isn't kind to what it doesn't understand."

"So are you...you guys are vigilantes?"

"Yeah, we are." He replied, sounding a little far away.

"You put your lives on the line...for people who would destroy you if they knew who you were."

"Such is our lot. Not all people are like that...but most....Even if they didn't want to study or kill us, they would never trust us."

"Why do you do it?"

"Because it's IN us." Donatello replied, finally looking at him. "We're a different breed. We've been trained in skills and given the chance to...make a small dent in everything going crazy in this city. We don't have to do it...but compassion won't let us sit idly by. It may be thankless for the most part but...I like to believe that we make an impact, howbeit a small one."

"On behalf of every thoughtless human...I'm sorry." Marcus said, just as Luke was re-entering the room.

"I'm keeping the noraphim on tap in case we need to use more." He told Donatello.

"What IS noraphim exactly?" Marcus spoke up.

"It's a chemically altered supplement." Luke said simply, glancing at Donatello behind the computer.

"We can't do normal human drugs." Donatello explained. "So Doc and I have developed –"

"Lead by Donatello." Luke interrupted pointedly.

"_Doc_ and I have developed several specialized compounds that are more suited to our specific chemistry. It can be a little complicated, especially as far as narcotics are concerned. We just don't react well to them."

Marcus was even more intrigued than before, and didn't bother to hide it. "You're pioneering new drugs?"

"_Sort_ of...new mixtures at least." Donatello replied. "Doc, things look pretty clear of obstructions...he's definitely broken some ribs though. I kind of wanted to try and contact the others - do you wanna check my work?"

"Check your work?" Luke scoffed. "You've been patching them up longer than I have."

"And _you're_ the one with the degree. I know it's a long shot to reach them, but I'm going to try again. Be back in a couple?"

Marcus gave Luke a very knowing glance as soon as Donatello left the room.

"Yes, he's VERY intelligent." Luke said.

Marcus turned his gaze to the palm sized scanner Donnie had been using. "_What_ is that thing?"

"It's sort of a mini computer. Scans life forms for vital readings...and a whole lot more. It produces the most amazingly clear full body scans I've ever seen."

"Body scans?"

"Like what we use X-ray, MRI, CAT for."

"This I have to see."

Luke sat down, and flipped the computer screen of his desktop machine so Marcus could get a glimpse, as he uploaded new images from the scanner. In less than a minute they became crystal clear, and Marcus' jaw literally dropped. What he saw defied any technology he'd ever heard of.

"I had no idea this kind of thing was anything but _speculation_...let alone mainstream. Where do you _get _something like this?"

"It isn't mainstream. It's Donnie's."

"Come again?"

"Donatello created it."

"You're kidding me."

"I don't lie. I told you, he's very intelligent."

"This goes beyond intelligent. He's a genius, you know that right?"

"Of course I know." Luke said quietly.

* * *

At that moment, the "genius" was nearly beside himself with pain. He already knew he wouldn't be able to reach the others - they were beyond contact. He had only needed an excuse to get out of that room for a couple of minutes. He didn't want to sit down, he was afraid he might not be able to get back up. He leaned heavily against the wall, taking the pressure off of his knee as much as he could, and breathing in and out slowly.

Luke had asked Marcus to retrieve his laptop from the living room. He started out into the hallway, freezing in his step when he saw Donnie's awkward position. He was practically doubled over, head in his hands so he couldn't even see his face. Marcus backed away instantly into the back bedroom, surprising Luke with his entrance.

"Marc? What are you–"

"Luke, man, you _better_ go check out your guy."

"Donnie? Why?" He asked immediately.

"He doesn't look so hot."

Luke wasted no time in leaving the room, just in time to see Donatello struggle with some serious difficulty across the living room. "Donnie _stop_!" He ordered. _"Why _are you limping?"

"I...um..."

"Just hold it, okay? Give me your arm - now shift your weight off it. We're heading for the couch."

Marcus listened wordlessly at the door as Luke helped Donnie over get off of his feet.

"What's going on Donnie?" Luke asked probingly.

"It's just...um..."

"Clearly, I need to have a look. Just lay back, okay?" Luke unwound the brace as carefully as possible, and caught his breath when he saw his friend's knee. Quickly he turned on a couple of the lamps to get a better look and couldn't hold back a sharp gasp. It was badly swollen and discolored, in no condition for him to be using it.

"Donnie..." He said anxiously. "What happened today? It was _nothing_ like this yesterday!"

"I've been a little more active."

"A little more...oh my word. Did you ride your _bike_ Donnie?"

"...Well..."

"What did I _tell_ you about that thing?"

"Doc, the guys took the van, remember? It was the only way I could get here."

"You could have told me your only transport was that _god-forsaken_ motorcycle!"

"Doc, you needed the supplies. You couldn't leave Raph. I did what I had to."

"You still could have told me how bad your knee was."

"I _would_ have, eventually."

"When? _Tomorrow_, when the pain was so bad you couldn't use it anymore? As it is you could have pulled something!"

"I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry to stick you again."

"That's not _it _Donnie. I just hate seeing you like this. I know you're ready to be on your feet full-time again...but if you push it, it's only going to take longer." Luke sighed heavily. "Marcus, would you bring me that little scanner please?"

His friend obeyed, feeling somewhat guilty for listening. Luke took a three scans of his right leg, and uploaded the images directly to his laptop computer on the coffee table. Flipping the screen so he could see it better, he waited a tense few moments for the images to come up. He studied it in silence until he was sure of what he saw, and let out an anxious breath.

"There is some very serious strain...but you haven't pulled any muscle..." Luke said slowly.

"Am I _about_ to?"

"Your knee is in a very fragile state. One wrong move could undo months of work. You're going to have to stay off it...72 hours minimum, and then we'll see where we are."

"Luke, you don't need this."

"It _is_ what it is Donnie - you didn't exactly ask for it either, huh?"

"Don't remind me." He said, voice breaking, and Luke suddenly realized how upset his friend really was. He lowered himself to sit on the coffee table across from him, gazing at him probingly for a few seconds.

"You're upset...and it isn't just about tonight, is it?"

"Well I'm not _happy_ about tonight...but I wasn't happy anyway." He replied softly.

"You wanna talk about this?"

"It's Leo. He won't come near me Doc. I mean literally...he's avoiding me like the plague. I thought that...after time had passed, things would get better. But they've gotten worse." He let out a shaky sigh to keep from being overcome.

"Leo carries a lot of guilt Don...he will for a long time."

Donatello stared at the floor for a long moment. "You know how many times...I've thought about that day...and wished I'd done something different?"

"Like what Donnie? Pulverized _him_ so he couldn't hurt _you_?"

"Everything is just so complicated now. All I want is my_ family_ back." He covered his eyes as he couldn't hold back tears. "Look I...now isn't the time to do this. Raph needs help and...unfortunately, you're going to be on your own."

"Donnie look at me. _Look_ at me. Things are strained right now, but that doesn't make you less of a family. He wouldn't feel guilty if you didn't matter to him."

"I tell myself that Doc, I do...but it doesn't change how I feel. And then tonight Raph was...well, he was Raph."

"Did he run out on you?"

Donatello said nothing, suddenly very interested in the ceiling.

"You tried talking to him, and he left...right?"

"Now really isn't the time." Donnie said quietly, unable to contain a grimace as a spasm jerked his knee.

"You want something for the pain?"

"I don't _want_ it...but I probably need it."

"I'll start you out smaller so I can increase it if I need too. I'm going to get you some ice, and then I want you to try to get some sleep."


	4. Complicated

After Luke and Marcus worked together to get Donatello to the Master bedroom to get some sleep, they returned to the back one, where Raphael still hadn't moved one iota.

"He's your ACL case, huh?" Marcus asked pointedly.

Luke nodded. "Yeah. It hasn't been pleasant for him. These guys are so active that something like this is cruel and unusual punishment."

"Was he hurt in a fight, like Raphael?"

Luke hesitated, not saying anything for a few seconds. "Not exactly. It was a lot more _personal_ than that...and that much harder to deal with."

"I don't suppose you'd let me see his scans."

"You have no idea how many times I've _wanted_ to show them to you."

"It _is_ my field. How about it?"

Luke typed something rapidly into his scanner, and sat down by his desk computer. "I have copies of the original scans I took when it first happened, as well as follow-up through the months, and then a couple that I took today. C'mere, sit down."

Marcus wheeled up close to the screen, and studied the original for what seemed like an eternity.

"What are you thinking?" Luke finally asked.

"Luke this is...it's one of the worst tears I've ever seen. The damage to his anterior cruciate and lateral collateral ligament are very easy to see, he had a complete separation of both from the bone." He paused to zoom in another portion, and went on. "He also sustained significant damage to his lateral meniscus - I'm seeing what looks like actual fragments. Sometimes these kinds of tears can heal themselves, but what I'm seeing here...it would be hard to imagine. There could more damage in the nerves, that isn't even visible to us on this scan. Have you just been trying to handle it with physical therapy?"

"It's the only option we've had. I can't exactly wheel him into a hospital, and reconstructive surgery of this magnitude is far beyond me. We were hoping and praying that therapy and rest would be enough."

Marcus had moved on to follow-up scans, going through them a little faster now, shaking his head. He stopped in his tracks when he reached the last, and looked over his shoulder at Luke, still standing nearby nervously. He turned around to face him, and pointed at the trunk to his left. "Can you sit down?"

Luke obeyed without a word, sitting on the very edge.

"Therapy alone isn't enough, not if he wants to maintain an active lifesyle of any kind. You said they practice a type of ninjitsu?"

"Yes." He answered tightly.

"He's vulnerable Luke, and he always will be if it's left as is. It's not a question of 'if' he could lose major function, but 'when'. The damage to his meniscus has become progressively worse over the months, and ligaments are still extraordinarily fragile. It really wouldn't take very much at all to knock him down completely. If he were one my patients, he wouldn't even be using that wrap - I'd still have him in an immobolizer. I'm sorry to be so frank, but I figure you want the truth, right?"

Luke released a very shaky sigh. "I don't know _what_ to do. I feel like I've reached the end of myself and what I can possibly accomplish for him."

"Luke, I didn't ask to see his stuff out of curiousity. If you're willing to_ let _me, I want to help. I'm willing to put forth every ounce of orthopedic expertise that I'm still working on paying off."

"Marc, I do trust you, but the situation is far more complicated than you know. They're built similarly to humans in some respects, and very different in other ways. They don't even tolerate _Donnie's_ drugs pefectly. The thought of anesthetizing one of them for _surgery_, it scares the heck out of me."

"So _teach_ me about them. I'm serious Luke."

"I don't have the power to even say yes or no to you Marc. It isn't my decision how far you get to come in."

"How did _you_ get wrapped up in all this?"

"It was through a mutual friend, about three years ago. Over the years their Sensei and Donatello have been their only source of medical attention, and something came up with Donnie that was completely over their heads. I was brought onboard out of sheer desperation, and because he was basically dying, I agreed to try. Because of some precautions and preparations Donatello made through the years, I had enough information immediately at my fingertips to make a difference, and he lived." As Luke finished the statement, his phone buzzed and he glanced down immediately.

_Jenna. Boy, was that ironic._

He replaced the phone on his belt and let it ring. He would have bad news to share with her soon enough.


	5. Flashback

***Greetings, Readers, it is I! The time traveling Author who has come back from the future to alter a chapter that never satisfied me to begin with. I've made some major changes...though the gist of it remains the same. Now back to the story.**

* * *

It had been months since Donatello had gotten a great night's sleep, and the physical pain he'd been dealing wasn't the only deterrent. He had been plagued by constant nightmares that he hadn't been able to talk about with anyone - not even Mike.

Drugs seemed to have a heightened effect on them, sending him into a deeper sleep of tortured details that he didn't _want_ to remember. He wanted to forget that day had ever happened. Don's thoughts returned to that day as he was wide awake that night, and he wondered how it could have possibly gone so wrong.

* * *

(One Year Ago)

Donatello felt like his head was spinning, just from watching the way his younger brother was bouncing off the walls. "Mike, you're making me dizzy. We're supposed to be cooling _down_ right now."

The orange-masked turtle gave him a Cheshire grin. "I can't, Donnie, you don't get it! I've _never_ taken Leo down that fast before. Do you have any idea how great that felt?"

"It was a _spar_, Mikey," he reminded him.

"So you're not proud of me? You're the one who's been encouraging me so much, and you're not happy that it worked?"

The purple-masked turtle glanced toward the door of the dojo from where he was stretching on the mat. "I _am_ happy for you, Mike; I just don't think you need to be so…exuberant. How would that make Leo feel?"

The first hint of a scowl appeared on Mike's face. "Sometimes, I'd rather consider how _you_ feel, Donnie. Somebody has to."

When Donatello broke eye contact with him, Mike dropped onto the mat beside him.

"Wasn't proving a point the whole goal to start with?" his younger brother asked.

Donatello winced. "I don't like how it sounds when you say it that way."

"So you're _not_ fed up with Leo constantly being on your case, and looking over your shoulder like you're not keeping up?"

"Yeah, I get sick of it, Mike, and its part of the reason I asked you to start training with me so much earlier in the morning."

"And I've been giving up my precious beauty sleep, for what? What have we been doing here, Donnie?"

"Slowing down and cutting out distractions," he replied.

"So we can fight better," Mike added. "It's working too. I'm _happy_ to prove to Leo and Raph that we're stronger than ever."

Don grunted under his breath in irritation. "I don't want to talk about them, and I don't want to think about Leo. I'm trying to separate my mind from all of this, and convince myself that what he says and thinks of me doesn't matter."

"You're so much better than this, Donnie. You can't let him beat you down, Bro."

"I'm done submitting to it," he replied, more strongly than he felt.

"I don't know why you've never gone to Sensei—"

"And tell him what, Mike? I'm supposed to go whine about our perfect older brother? Where would that get me?" Donatello took a deep breath. "I'm just…I'm tired, Mike. I'm finished dealing with it."

Emotion was threatening, and he hated himself for it. _I'm too sensitive, that's always been my problem. _Don drew his legs up underneath him, closing his eyes briefly as he fought to maintain an even composure.

"Don?" Mike said after a few seconds. "Don't make me drag this outta you. What's going through your head?"

"We talk about Leo, Mike, but the problem is a lot more complicated than—"

A resounding _bang_ cut the purple-masked turtle off from finishing, and Donatello saw Mike's eyes go wide.

"Shell, do you think there's anything left from that door?" Mike wondered.

Donny shrugged. "I think we need to give Leo and Raph some space."

Michelangelo shook his head. "What were you saying before, Donnie?"

Donatello sighed softly. "This isn't about Leo, Mike, not really. I thought it might be possible to prove through my actions how serious I am, but I _don't_ think its working."

Mike stared at him imploringly. "You're _never_ gonna be good enough for him in your own mind, are you, Don?"

"That's the point, Mike. All of our extra work, our solo practices…it's been for nothing. All I want is for him to be able to accept me where I'm at, and I just don't see it happening."

* * *

Raphael trotted down the hallway from the bathroom, confused by the violent slam that had resounded from a couple doors down. He slowly turned the doorknob of the bedroom he shared with Leonardo, and cautiously peered inside. He was surprised to see his brother lying on the top bunk staring at the ceiling. "Leo? I thought we were gonna go for a run."

"I'm not in the mood."

"Uh…okay," the red-masked turtle allowed. "Did I miss something, Leo?" When his older brother didn't answer him, Raphael took a step closer to the bunk bed. "Did I do something to tick you off?"

Leo merely shook his head.

Raphael lowered himself to the floor, and motioned to the rug beside him. "Will you come down here and _talk _to me?"

Leo rose sullenly and leaped to the floor.

"What on earth is eating you, Fearless?" Raph asked.

"What you said about Donnie - you were right."

Raphael sighed quietly. He'd been seriously tripping earlier, and made some snide comment about their younger brothers scheming behind their backs to take them down. "You know...I _say_ a lot of things, Leo..."

"You were _right,_ Raph. I heard the two of them talking about proving a point, and how they're not going to take it anymore. Don's orchestrated this whole thing, and Mike just came along for the ride. I say if they're going to prove a point of being better than us, it might be time to make a point of our own."

"Leo, don't you think you might wanna talk to Donnie about this?" Raph suggested.

"I don't wanna talk. He's too gifted with words...he'll excuse it, deny it, refute it. No _talking_ won't do it this time."

"Well, what are you getting at then?"

"I've been thinking about tomorrow's spar. We have to act quickly while Master's gone. I need to send Donnie a message, and I'm going to need your help."

"_Whoa_. You know I got your back, Bro - but ganging up Donnie?"

"I don't need your help with _him_; I need you to keep _Mike_ busy so he doesn't get in my way."

Raph didn't say anything for a long moment. "What are you gonna do, Leo?"

"I'm just going to remind him who I am."

Raphael paused another long moment. "Are you sure we need to do this?"

"Do you understand how they've been manipulating us, Raph? Mike's been beating you more than ever—"

"Only because the pip-squeak is fast!"

"Fast, yes, but doesn't he feel just a little more focused to you than he's ever been? You're going to have to push him harder, Raph, because he's honing in on your weaknesses."

"You don't think I can _handle_ him?" Raph asked tersely.

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"Raph, I _know_ you can take him."

"_Darn right I can! _And tomorrow you'll see that loud and clear!" He was mixing his metaphors, but Leo got the gist of it what he was saying.

"Great, we're agreed then."

"They won't know what hit 'em."

* * *

Don and Mike showed up a little early the next morning for the spar they had every other day with Leonardo and Raphael. They were laughing over some joke as the others wordlessly entered the room.

"Can we get down to this please?" Leo asked with a serious edge in his tone.

Immediately stifled, they rose from the mat to meet their brothers.

"Morning. You can take some time to stretch if you want. No rush is there?" Donatello asked tentatively.

"We're ready now," Leo said shortly, exchanging a strange look with Raphael.

"Are you guys okay?" Mike said curiously. "You're kinda freaking me out."

"We're just not into playing this morning. So are you ready or what?" Raph asked sharply.

"Geesh, fine. At attention, Commander," Mike muttered.

They separated and faced each other - Don with Leo, Mike with Raph. They performed a traditional bow as they had been taught–and then all hell broke loose.

Leonardo burst out of his bow so quickly that Donatello barely had time to duck a round-house kick. With a jolt of surprise, he realized his brother had been aiming for his _face_. Don darted swiftly out of his reach as he charged again, throwing several blows one after another. He blocked the first three but couldn't avoid the fourth. The closed fist struck him solidly in the jaw, and he stumbled against the wall.

From what Donatello could see, Mike was fairing no better. Raph had attacked him with a fierceness he'd only seen him exhibit in battle or when he was _truly_ ticked off. It had taken Mike a few seconds to get over the shock, and by that time Raphael had already driven him violently across the room towards the hall.

Don jerked upright, blocking two more vicious lunges before taking a shattering blow to the chest. Leo drove him to the floor as he tried to simply force air back into his lungs. In seconds he'd recovered enough to roll out of his grasp, and leapt to his feet panting.

"Leo! Leo, _stop_!" he managed to force out.

His brother acted as though he hadn't heard him, smashing him ruthlessly back into the wall. Hands firmly around his neck he held him down as Donatello struggled to cry out again. The look in his eyes actually made Donnie afraid. As he fought to get free, his brother's grip only tightened. In desperation he managed to grab a pressure point on Leo's shoulder, jerking forcefully.

The brief intense pain did the trick - and Donnie broke free from his hold. He rammed his brother in the stomach with his elbow, and bounded quickly away from him. Leo had _lost_ it! He could hear the sounds of a terrific struggle in the Den and was instantly concerned for Mike.

He would have no time to reach him. Donatello whirled around as he heard Leo pursuing him, and saw his fist a fraction of a second it struck. With no time to react it connected solidly with his eye, hurling him backwards into a table. The furniture overturned, and in the midst of searing pain, a distinct clatter got his attention.

_Jenna's mace_! He'd fixed the nozzle of it for her the night before - now it was rolling down the hall! As Leo stood over him, Donatello swiped his brother's left leg out from under him, and sent him stumbling backwards. Gripping his chest, Donatello jerked to his feet and raced down the hallway after the bottle. He closed his right hand on it as the older turtle pounced again, the full brunt of Leo's weight bearing down on his right knee.

The pain that followed was so severe he couldn't hold in a terrible cry of agony. Leonardo was still on top of him, but his right arm was free! Burying his head to protect himself, he sprayed a huge cloud of mace in Leonardo's direction. His brother was instantly overcome, first coughing and then writhing on the floor beside him.

Don couldn't have cared less; his own breath was coming in short painful gasps. It took a few moments to collect himself, before he could think about even _trying_ to get up. The sound of an unusually loud blow drew his attention, in time to see Mike literally fly over the back of the couch. He crashed down hard on the coffee table, and slumped lifelessly to the floor.

"MIKE!" Donatello's cry came unbidden, and he instantly tried to rise. The explosion of pain in his knee nearly made him pass out. He struggled to regain control, and then crawled forward painfully as Raphael ran over to Mike.

"_Get away from him_!" Donatello commanded, raising the mace threateningly.

Raphael held up his hands in surrender, and the gasped when he saw the position Donatello's knee was in. "Donnie! Don't move - you're hurt! I just want to help!"

"Raph, back OFF!"

"Donnie, your leg–"

"Raph, leave him alone! Get out and take Leo with you!"

"But–"

"Just GO." The full weight of his pain came out pitifully with the last word.

Raph wordlessly walked over to Leonardo, and pulled the blue-masked turtle off the floor. He led him blindly into the kitchen to rinse his eyes out.

Don sank weakly to the floor, worn out from the effort of crawling, overcome by pain and emotion. He couldn't stem the tears from rising, his chest heaved with sobs that he forced himself to muffle. He wouldn't let the others hear it. But when Mike stirred a couple of feet away from him, it didn't escape his notice. With determination he pulled himself up part way to make the last of the distance, and reached out to his brother.

"Mike," he whispered, lightly touching his forehead. "Mikey?"

His brother raised his head a couple of inches. "Oh...my head," he said slowly, opening bleary eyes. "What _happened_?"

"Your spar went about as well as mine. Can you move everything?"

Mike slowly tested his limbs as he struggled to focus on Donatello. "The _spar_? Oh...man...Raph beat the living–" Mike started, cutting off sharply when he tried to move his right shoulder. Donnie tried to comfort him, but a few seconds passed before he could open his eyes. When Mike did, he seemed to realize the awkward position Donatello was in.

Mike sat up very carefully, surveying his brother with concern. "What happened to you?"

"Leo," he answered sharply. "I don't know why," he finished, voice breaking with emotion.

Mike's face clouded over angrily as he gingerly got to his feet. "I need to get you to the Lab."

"Mike, you can't lift me with your shoulder."

"Wanna bet?"

"Just...help me get up." He bit his lip hard as Mike slowly eased him off of the floor, supporting him with his left arm. He stretched it around his back and they shuffled slowly towards the Lab, Donatello leaning heavily against him and still trying to use his left leg.

Inside the doorway of his Lab the good one gave out and he pitched forward towards the floor. Mike leaped to catch him, forcing himself to use both arms to support him. He couldn't hold back a cry of pain of his own as he struggled to quickly get him to the closest piece of furniture - a chaise lounge.

"I'm sorry, Mike," Donatello said, trembling uncontrollably.

Mike shook his head sharply, and instantly appeared to regret it. "Don't apologize, Donnie – it ain't _your_ fault. Let me look at you."

The orange-masked turtle surveyed him for several seconds, before heading for the fridge to grab some ice. On his way back, Donatello saw Mike stop suddenly with a jolt in mid-step. He breathed out slowly and kept going, wrapping an ice pack up in a towel. Donatello held his breath as Mike carefully positioned it over his knee, and then knelt down beside him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't stop it," Mike told him.

"Don't you apologize either," Don answered quickly, shivering slightly as he gazed at his brother for a minute. Mike was torn up with fresh abrasions, and his right shoulder was almost certainly dislocated. He had a bad bruise over his left eye, which was already starting to swell. "Mike get some ice for your eye and that shoulder. It looks like it could be dislocated so don't try to use it again."

Mike rose wordlessly, and looked a little shaky as he crossed the room again. As he pulled out a couple more ice packs, Donatello saw his legs clearly falter. The purple-masked turtle tried to sit up, and was stopped short by another explosion of pain that racked through his nerves.

"Donnie, don't you _move_!" Mike ordered soundly.

"Your shoulder needs attention."

"Not from _you_. I'm calling Luke."

"I guess we don't have a choice," he murmured. "But what are you gonna say? Our _brothers _beat us up?"

"I'll tell him the truth," Mike replied.

"I don't know where my phone is..." Don said softly.

"I've got mine. Just a second." Mike flipped it open and hit Luke's speed dial. After a couple of seconds he hung it up, and tried again. After three attempts he was truly frustrated. "What the shell," he said under his breath.

"What's wrong?"

"Your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please hang up, and try your call again later," Mike mimicked the recording.

Don's brow furrowed. "Hm. That's weird."

"Got any clue why?"

"It could be a number of things. I guess...just try again in a few minutes," Don said dejectedly.

"All right," Mike answered.

His brother got up to retrieve a blanket from the closet. After he'd covered Donatello carefully, he went over to the sink, and started filling up a bowl with water. That was the point at which Mike was finally overcome. His brother bent over the sink as he was violently sick. Mike hunched over further when he was done, breathing hard.

"Mike?" Don called with concern.

"I'm all right," he insisted, rising slowly. "I'll be there in a second." He ran water through the sink for a couple of minutes, and then finished filling his vessel.

Mike got down on the floor beside him again, and started addressing Donatello's bleeding injuries to the best of his ability. Donatello stared at him the entire time, wondering what on earth they would do if they weren't able to reach Luke. Don sighed in weariness and anxiety; it was going to be a long day.


	6. Flashback Continued

Leo shook his head vigorously, rubbing water out of eyes that were still stinging like fury. Raph offered him a towel, but he jerked away from him.

"That did not go as planned." He said more to himself than Raphael.

"Leo - _that_ was out of hand! I think we really hurt them!"

"I'm not having this conversation with you." He replied shortly, stalking out of the kitchen.

"Leo? Where are you _going_?"

"Out." Was all he would say, and stormed through the darkness into the tunnels.

Raph rubbed his temples in frustration and anxiety. What was _happening_? He didn't like Leo with a temper. Tentatively he glanced into the window of the Lab, and could see Mike bent over Donatello. He knocked on the door lightly, and Mike scowled in his direction.

"We're closed!" He yelled.

"I wanna help Mike." Raph said slowly.

"_Go away_."

Raph turned and started for the stairs, but something made him hesitate. He had a strong feeling that he shouldn't leave them, no matter what they said. He spun around and instantly returned to the Lab, in time to see Mike stumble to the floor as he was crossing the room. Raphael hurried inside, catching him as he tried to rise unsuccessfully.

"Ah!" He cried instantly. "Not the arm! _Let go_!"

He quickly released his hold on his shoulder, but continued supporting him around the back. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Mike!"

"_Save it_!" He answered through gritted teeth. "I need...to get sick."

He could tell he was bad off - he hadn't even pushed him away this time. Swiftly Raphael helped him over, and bit his lip guiltily as his brother threw up. At the end he was so weak he couldn't hold his head up anymore.

"C'mon. Bed." Raph said gently drawing him back to his feet. Mike said nothing - he wouldn't even look at him. As he laid him down, Raphael stared openly at the damage he had inflicted. His left eye was nearly swollen shut, and he was strangely pale. His right shoulder was clearly distorted and need attention badly.

"Have you called Luke?" Raphael asked Mike.

"The phones aren't working." He answered flatly. "And Donnie's worse off than me - so see if you can help _him_."

He got up from Mike and went over to see Donatello. His eyes were clenched tightly shut, and he was openly trembling. Raphael lightly felt his forehead with the back of his hand. He was clammy - that was never good. Maybe he needed more blankets.

Don's eyes opened slowly, a dazed stare that struggled to focus. "Mikey..." He called softly.

"No, it's me Don." Raph replied. "I'm going to get you some water." He picked a bottle out of the fridge and brought it back to him. He started to try and help him sit up, but it made the pain so intense he could hardly breathe. With his help he managed to take in a few drops, and then his dark eyes narrowed slightly at Raphael.

"What is _wrong_ with you guys?" He demanded.

"I'm really sorry Donnie."

"What's up with Mike?"

"Um...I'm not sure. He's throwing up...getting weaker by the minute. He said the phones aren't working?"

"Hm? The phones?"

"Yeah, the cell phones. He said he tried Luke."

"Tried him?"

"To call him." Raph clarified, concern growing. Donnie wasn't all there.

"Oh. Maybe Jenna could call him."

"She's at school, isn't she?"

"Where?"

"Donnie close your eyes. You need to rest - I'll be back in a couple minutes. I need to check on Mike."

"Where is he?"

"He's across the room."

"I was supposed....to fix the phones..."

"Donnie you're not fixing anything right now. Don't even move. I'll be _right_ back." Raphael cursed inwardly as he ran back to Mike, whose own eyes were closed now. "Mike? Please say you're still with me."

He looked up instantly. "Yeah..."

"That's good, because Donnie isn't. He's confused, his mind is...I don't know what to do."

"We may have a real problem." Mike said quietly. "How is his breathing?"

"I don't know...not normal. And he's colder than he should be. I was going to grab some more blankets."

"Do that. Top shelf, right closet door."

Raphael moved to obey, grabbing two more for Donatello and one for Mike. "Maybe I should go get Luke - find him myself."

"Better to send Leo. Somebody has to stay with Donnie, and I honestly don't think I can get back up right now."

"Yeah, that would work but...he's not actually here."

"Leo ran off?" Mike asked sharply.

"Yeah."

"Oh, that's perfect. _Great_. Raph, you absolutely can't leave him."

"But I don't even know what to _do_ Mikey." He said anxiously.

"If his breathing gets really bad, he needs the Oxi. You've seen him use that for a couple of us, remember?"

"Is it around?"

"Over by the computer. Bring it here, and I'll show you which button turns it on. You need to keep a close eye on him."

"What about you?"

"Just bring me the trash can, because I'm going to get sick again."

* * *

Jenna had tried the phones several times after her last two classes were canceled - there was some kind of interference on their end. She decided just to surprise them and show up. When she reached their den she tried knocking, but got no answer. She typed in the code on her phone, holding it up to the scanner to let herself in.

When she walked into the Den, she stopped abruptly at the sight that met her eyes. The room was torn _apart_. They didn't always clean up things immediately (what teenage boy does?), but this looked somehow different than usual. It was quiet - _unsettlingly_ so. The only light was coming from Donatello's Lab, so she headed towards it. Through the window she saw Raphael, looking somewhat haggard as he moved from one end of the room to another. She knocked on the window, and he jolted upright in surprise. He literally bolted out the door to greet her when he saw who it was.

"Oh_ thank _God!" He said breathlessly. "I'm so glad you're here! Please tell me you have your phone!"

"Of course I do - Raph, what's _wrong_?"

"I need to call Luke _now_. Don and Mike are hurt...it's a long story, I'll tell you everything, but–"

She shoved her phone into his hand before he could finish, and dashed into the Lab to see them for herself.

Shaking slightly, Raphael dialed Luke and waited impatiently for him to answer.

"Hey - how's the college girl?" Luke said good naturedly.

"Doc it's Raph, I'm using Jenna's phone, ours are actin' up. We need you down here, like...now. Don and Mikey are _really _hurt."

"Raph, what's going on?" He asked swiftly, and he could hear the Doctor throwing some things together in the background. "What happened?"

"I wanted to get ahold of you hours ago. We were working out together today and...I don't even know how to tell you this. Leo and I, Doc we hurt 'em."

"_How_ did you hurt them?"

He choked back a sob as he tried to go on. "I don't...I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Raph, I need to know what I'm walking into."

"I did something to Mike's shoulder - he can't use his right arm at all. He probably has a concussion - he's gotten sick so many times I stopped keeping track. He's so weak he can hardly move."

"What about Donnie?"

Raphael sighed very deeply. "He's bad Luke. His right knee is totally messed up, he's in horrible pain. He's out of his mind...not making any sense when he _does_ talk. He's been using the Oxi for about two hours, still not breathing really well." He paused to compose himself from another sob. "I'm sorry! God, I'm so sorry! I wanted to come get you myself, Mike said I couldn't leave Donnie alone!"

"_Where's_ Leo?" Luke asked pointedly.

"He left after the spar, haven't seen him since. With the phones acting up, I can't even call him."

"I will_ be_ there as fast as I can!" Luke finished, and hung up.

* * *

Jenna knelt beside Donatello anxiously, tears springing to her eyes as she stroked his forehead. "Donnie?" She said softly. He groaned at her touch, but didn't open his eyes. "It's going to be okay." She said, more confidently than she felt.

"Jenna?" A startled voice called to her from across the room. The woman rose, hurrying over to see how Mike was doing.

"You're early?" He asked under some duress. "I thought you'd be awhile yet."

"Couple classes got canceled. Tried to call but..."

"I know, the phones aren't working. But go back to Donnie - he needs you."

"You look like you need a friend too Mikey."

"Is Luke coming?"

"Raph's talking to him, I'm sure he'll get here." She answered, and at that moment, Raph re-entered the Lab.

Clearing his throat nervously, he asked Jenna to come over to him. "I need to tell you something."

She got up from the floor to meet him as he hesitated by the door. "What is it Raphael?"

"There's just something you should know. Don and Mike...they weren't hurt by an enemy."

"Then how did they–"

"The four of us have a one-on-one, every other day. Leo and I went _way_ too far."

"_What_?"

"I'm trying to tell you that it's our fault."

"But..." She trailed off, a shocked expression over her features. "How _could_ you?"

"There's no excuse." He answered shamefully. "But that's how it happened."

She took a sharp breath, looking away from him. "I don't know what to say. Where's Leonardo?"

"He's not here."

"He _left_ them?"

"Jenna there's nothing I can say...except that I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen."

"Who attacked who?"

"Like it _matters_?"

She gave him a piercing look, and then softened somewhat. "There's enough negativity in the atmosphere. Maybe we shouldn't talk about it right now. Doc's coming?"

"Yeah."

"I'm going to sit with Donnie. Why don't you see what your other brother needs?"

Raphael picked up another water from the fridge and returned to Mike. After several small sips he focused on Raph for a long moment without saying anything.

"Can I ask you _why_?" Mike finally said.

"I'm guess I was trying to prove what a tough jerk I am."

"Mission accomplished." Mike said wryly.

* * *

Luke burst into the den a few minutes later, making for the Lab with all haste. He went to Donatello first, as Jenna scrambled to get out of his way. His pulse was weak, his breath coming in shallow gasps, even aided by the Oxi. Luke examined his eyes carefully with his pen-light, muttering something sharply under his breath.

"Doc..." Jenna started softly.

"He's in advanced shock. We have to move him _now_ - he needs an IV." Luke pulled blankets off of him, nearly cursing out loud when he saw the state of his right leg. "You have _got_ to be kidding me!" He exploded, struggling to keep his anger under control. He took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down. "Okay. One second." He ran over to the closet to find a brace, returning swiftly. "I want to get this on him first. Moving is going to hurt period, but it might help to keep it locked. Raph - come here. Jenna, get the other bed pulled back, and grab the IV unit out of the closet. Then get out a unit of blood from the fridge - they're clearly labeled, he takes the positive one."

Jenna got going immediately while Luke applied the brace as gently as he knew how. Regardless, his face was a grimace of agony, whimpering softly.

"Don - Donnie I'm sorry." Luke said evenly. "We have to move you, okay?"

"Sensei..." He moaned, hardly aware they were even there.

"Shh. Brace yourself Donnie, because this won't feel good. Raph, get on the other side and we're going to lift him on three."

He counted off and they lifted together. Donnie let out a long slow groan, clenching his teeth as they carried him across the room. His breathing slackened again for a few seconds, and then his eyes seemed to actually focus on Luke.

"Doc..." He rasped with difficulty. "My _chest_ is killing me...I can hardly breathe."

"I know Donnie. I'm here now, I'm gonna take care of everything, okay?"

"Where's Mike?"

"He's right here - he's fine...or he will be." Luke said honestly.

"Why does everything hurt? Where's Sensei?"

Luke got down on the floor beside him as Jenna wheeled the IV over, and retrieved the blood he'd asked for. "Donnie, listen. Listen to me. You need to relax. Close your eyes, and try to let go, okay?"

"Okay." He whispered weakly, attempting to release the tension screaming in every muscle.

Luke hooked up the IV, and started a blood transfusion as soon as he could. Once it had started flowing he set up a couple more pieces of equipment to monitor his vital signs, and began looking further into his levels. He spent a solid forty-five minutes making sure Donatello was on the road to stability before turning over to Mike.

He had a vacant look in his eyes, but snapped to attention when Luke said his name.

"Doc. How's Donnie?"

"He's in shock - we're getting it under control. I need to have a look at you now. Can you follow my light?"

Mike struggled to stay with the penlight, only managing to make one pass out of several attempts. Luke examined his shoulder carefully, while running a couple more tests.

"I need to address this - " He told Mike quietly "And the sooner, the better."

"Then do it." He answered bravely.

"I think I should give you a sedative first."

"Do I _have_ to?"

"I know they do some weird things to you guys...but this is going to _hurt_, and I can't guarantee I'll get it right on the first try."

"_You're_ the doc...Doc." He agreed with resignation.

Luke set up their own solution and gave him a localized injection. While he was waiting for it to take effect, Mike sat up a little bit more.

"It feels weird. I mean, the pain in my shoulder is _there_, but the rest of it's been numb or sometimes kinda tingly since the fight."

"That's normal." Luke assured him. "Take a few breaths, get good and calm. Then I'll get to work."

Jenna wordlessly watched the monitor gauging Donatello's vitals. She'd never seen his body so rigid or tortured - and it had her worried. Raph sat down nearby, feeling completely lost and ashamed. Luke caught his eye for a second, before turning back to Mike.

"How are you holding up, besides the physical?" He asked him quietly.

"Okay...I guess. I'm not as angry as I thought I'd be with Raph. I don't really remember a lot of the spar."

"I'm guessing it's been awkward. It's not easy being in the same room with him right now."

Mike looked at him seriously as Luke probed the socket of his shoulder. "Luke, you go as hard on Leonardo as you want, but take it easy on Raph. I can't believe what he did anymore than you can but..but the fact is he came _back_. I don't know what would have happened...if he hadn't been here." He punctuated the last word with a cry as Luke adjusted the bone back into the socket.

"It's okay, it's okay." Luke soothed. "The worst should be over."

He breathed out deeply and then nodded. "Yeah...oh....that's better. Oh thank God."

"I'm going to get some more ice on it, and I'll have to put it in a sling. You won't be able to use it for awhile."

"Thanks Doc. Keep me updated on Donnie...I'm worried about him."

At that very moment he was stirring again from a troubled sleep, whimpering softly in pain. "Leo..." He mumbled. "Stop! Leo..."

"Shh." Jenna tried to calm him. "It's alright."

"Let _go_." He moaned incoherently. "Let me go!"

Jenna rose as Luke came over. "He's not resting Luke - he's suffering. Can he do drugs?"

"He's going to have to. Give me a second - I'll be right back." He started setting up another needle while Jenna stayed with him. When he came back he injected him with a heavy dose of the sedative, and monitored his breathing a few moments longer. "I still don't like how he sounds. I'm going to start him on a respirator." Luke told Jenna as Donatello slipped into unconsciousness.

Jenna leaned over him, lightly brushing her lips over his. "I'll see you soon." Then she moved aside so Luke could work. "I'm going to make some coffee - you want?"

"I'd drink some. Meantime, I'm going to take some scans of his knee and find out how much damage Leo caused."

She paused at the revelation, and then shook her head. "I'll be back in a bit."

* * *

When she walked into the kitchen she was startled to _see_ Leonardo, standing over by the sink. Rubbing water out of his eyes, he didn't seem to notice her immediately.

"Where've_ you _been?" She demanded, seething anger rising immediately to the surface.

He looked at her with a scowl when she stood in his path as he tried to walk out.

"I don't answer to you. Move." Was all he said.

"Do you have _any_ idea how badly you hurt him?"

"Donnie's a big boy, he can fight his own battles. Move!"

She reacted instantly without thinking, slugging him so hard in the jaw that he actually hit the floor. Shocked, he raised a hand to his bleeding mouth as Jenna shook the pain out of her own hand. "As soon as he gets off the respirator, I'll relay your message." She proclaimed, and stormed out of the kithen. He struggled upright, swiftly pursuing her.

"Wait! Now wait a minute! _Jenna_!"

She whirled around to face him with a scorching glare. "Why _should_ I?"

"What did I do?"

"_Besides_ the obvious, he's been having trouble breathing for hours! The phones aren't working, Raphael couldn't leave him to get help! So while you were off sulking, or whatever you want to call it, he was going downhill fast!"

"I...I didn't know–"

"You didn't _know_ you hurt him? C'mon Leo, I wasn't _born_ yesterday!"

"I didn't know I hurt him like _that,_ I wasn't trying to--"

"I'm really not interested in hearing anything else you've got t' say. Don't come near the Lab - if Mike sees you he's liable to lose it."


	7. Memories & Rest

Editor's Note:

We now return to the present day. Once again, if you would like further insight and understanding into the following chapter, then you should check out "Of Hope and New Faces".

* * *

Jenna had tried calling every single cell phone that the guys possessed when she landed in California. She was disappointed and more than a little frustrated when she couldn't get a single answer. There was nothing more she could do than wait to board her connecting flight to New York, so she slumped down in a chair by the window, and wordlessly watched planes as they taxied down the runway. She had never made a habit of simply showing up unannounced, and was truthfully feeling a little sheepish for jumping on a plane on such a whim.

Something in Donatello's voice two days ago had simply set her off. He'd been acting strangely for weeks, and it had simply been the last straw for her. It had been almost two months since she had seen him, and they had always kept very close contact when they separated. Over the last month he had started talking and writing much less than normal. She knew something was going on with him, that he simply didn't want to talk to her about. She couldn't guess whether it was just his old injury, the strain in his family, or if it was just his way of trying to push her away. He had never been truly comfortable with her proclamation of love for him, and had never uttered the words himself. He had encouraged her so many times to try and find someone else, someone she could have a real life with. But Jenna had never once swayed in her feelings for him, and deep down couldn't accept that he didn't want it as badly as she did.

Her mind wandered as she continued watching for her own plane, back to the first time they had parted, and she had wondered if she would ever see him again. The two had hit it off remarkably well on her very first trip to the states, over three years ago. Her parents had taken her along on their trip back to the United States, where they were going to be attending a series of meetings at the United Nations. As American diplomats to Australia, they had spent the last several years in Sydney, and been targeted by a rather aggressive terrorist cell that was looking to make a political statement.

Jenna had been abducted from a museum by several of them, and so embarked on the most terrifyingly wonderful thing that had ever happened to her. Donatello had saved her life that day - and almost died because of it. She had spent nearly a month with the turtles, accepting their protection until the men had been caught up with. In the short weeks that followed, she had undergone an incredible transformation. Gone was the sullen, distant, angry girl that had been so horribly abused in foster care - replaced by someone she still hardly recognized sometimes. The process had started when Michael and Victoria had graciously taken her into their own home at fifteen - but it had taken her dramatic experience in New York to start pulling down the walls she'd erected to protect herself long ago.

When they had given her their blessing to return to the United States a year later, she had actually been stunned. After her past experience, she wasn't sure if they would ever let her out of their sight again. Yet here she was, now living inbetween two continents, spending the entire school year in New York City, and her summers back home with them Sydney. Except for right now of course, when she had dropped everything at a second's notice, and hopped on the first plane she could get out to California.

Hopefully, she would be able to reach someone when she landed in New York. Until then all she could do was wait. She settled back further in the plastic chair, sighing heavily. Couldn't these things fly any faster?

* * *

Mike had tossed and turned literally all night, unable to sleep more than a few minutes at a time. He sat up around 4:30am in frustration, rubbing his forehead tiredly. Something was wrong - something _had_ to be wrong. And he couldn't sit here anymore trying to act like it was nothing. He quietly left the room so that he wouldn't wake up Leonardo, and found Splinter sitting by the fire in the living room. His eyes were closed as if he were sleeping or praying - which one Mike didn't know, but he needed to talk to him.

"Master?"

He opened his eyes at once. "Yes, my son?"

"Is it okay with you if I go out and hike up this thing a little bit more? Donnie told me if I got high enough, the booster might be able to get me a signal."

"Something is wrong?"

"I don't know, but I feel like it is. Maybe it's my imagination, but I'd rather just find out for sure. Can I go? It's still really dark, I won't let anybody see me."

Splinter seemed to ponder it for a moment, and then nodded. "I have been unsettled myself. Alright, go Michelangelo, but be wary."

"I will Sensei, I promise."

He picked up a heavier cloak for extra warmth on his way out the door, and headed into the darkness of the early morning. He hefted a walking stick that reminded him very much of Donatello's bo, and started to pick his way carefully through the rocks to higher ground. He pulled his cloak tighter around his chest, his breath trailing visibly in front of him as he traveled in silence. He was trying to listen for the chime on his phone that would tell him he had achieved enough of a signal to make a phone call.

He had been steadily climbing for around half an hour, when he heard the desired sound that told him the phone was ready. He hopped up on top of a rock, holding the display up carefully so he could make sure he had enough bars to try it. He kept the phone very still, and then dialed his brother.

* * *

The small dose sedative that Luke had given Donatello had long ago worn enough, so he was easily jarred awake by his cell phone ringing. He felt around in the darkness on the side table until his fingers closed on his phone, and quickly flipped it open.

"Hello?" He mumbled tiredly.

"Donnie? Are you okay?"

"Mike? Is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. What's the matter?"

"How did you_ know_?"

"I couldn't sleep. Tell me what's wrong."

"Raph ran off and got hurt earlier tonight - he managed to drag himself to Luke's place. He's got a severe head injury, some broken ribs...he was worked over pretty bad. And...we might have a new member in our club."

"Huh?"

"A doctor friend of Lukes' has been worried about him, decided to take matters into his own hands. He didn't think anybody was here, broke into Luke's apartment looking for information, and he found some alright. He saw Raph."

"Is he _trustworthy_?"

"I don't really know Mike. Luke knows him, and he was truly ticked...but...I think he really does trust him. I only saw him for a few minutes myself but--"

"Wait a minute, you _saw_ him? Donnie, how did you get to Luke's apartment?"

"I took my bike."

"No you _didn't! _Donnie!"

"I had to go Mike! Doc needed the formulas, I just...I _had_ to go!"

Mike paused for a moment on the other end. "How does Raph look?"

"I told you, he was hurt bad. I don't know everything, I was only involved for a little while before Doc made me go to bed."

"Why? Did you hurt yourself?"

"It was just some strain in my knee. - it's not a big deal."

"Then what's bothering you?"

"Mike, I'm fine, I am. I don't want you to worry about me."

"Not buying it Donnie. If you were fine, I would be asleep, not climbing a mountain at 5 in the morning! I dragged myself out here, so how 'bout you just level with me, huh?"

Donnie didn't say anything for such a long time, that Mike finally plunged ahead, more gently this time.

"Donnie, I _know_ you've been trying to put on a brave face for us. You feel like you have to fake it, just to make us happy - but you're not fooling me bro, you never have."

"It doesn't _help_ Mike, nothing helps. I don't know what to do with myself right now."

"Why won't you talk to me Donnie? Why are you trying to slug through this alone?"

"I told you, talking doesn't help. I just want to forget this ever happened, go back to a place where I can feel confident and fearless, where our worst spats are over who gets the remote on Friday night."

"So this is about Leo." Mike said slowly.

"There are a lot of factors Mike, but of course, Leo's a big part of it. I just want him to _look_ at me again. I want to feel like he can stand to be around me for more than five minutes at a time!"

"Donnie, you know he's facing down a lot of guilt..."

"_Why_ he avoids me isn't the point! I can't _live_ like this anymore Mike, it's tearing me apart!" Donnie exploded, and then let out a sharp breath. "I...I'm sorry. I'm tired of pretending there's no pain, tired of pushing so hard to try and be positive...I'm just _tired_."


	8. Guilt & Old Friends

Luke leaned back in the easy chair in the back bedroom, and listened to the continuous rain coming down outside. He had asked Marcus to go get some sleep in the living room hours ago, so that he would be able to relieve him later. He needed to keep an eye on Raphael, and he had too much going through his mind to even imagine sleeping right now anyway.

He was worried about Donatello, and angry with himself. Angry that he hadn't been able to do him any true good over these last few months, and frustrated that he hadn't noticed how depressed his friend had become. On top of that, he dreaded having to break the news to him that his injury was even more complicated than he'd originally thought.

He was nervous about the situation with Marcus too. Luke had known him for over ten years, they'd become pretty close while they were in Med school together, even though Luke was eight years his junior. Marcus had adored and respected Luke's parents, and become like a member of the family for awhile. His own parents had split up when he was very young and never had much success in relationships since, so a real family unit was an anomaly to him.

After graduating they had drifted somewhat, both traveling in different directions and internships. When his parents' had been suddenly killed, Marcus had tried very hard to support him, but Luke had shyed away from most of his advances. He knew Marc was only trying to help him, but he had felt so empty, so numb that he had just receded from the world entirely. He had just wanted to be left completely alone.

Months had passed on his own, and he had worked random graveyard shifts, just to pass the time. He had met April when he moved onto the floor of her building right after his whole world had fallen apart. They hadn't talked very much in the beginning, but over weeks and months she managed to get him to open up a little bit, and allow _someone_ into his life again. April was certainly attractive in her own right, but their friendship had always been _that,_ and nothing more. She was honestly like the sister he never had.

It was April who had introduced him to the turtles to begin with, in a moment of sheer desperation when they had nowhere to turn. That had been the true turning point for him, when life had finally become worth living again. He suddenly had something to _do,_ and found himself engulfed back into what he so dearly missed having - a family.

* * *

When Mike had made his way back to the cabin, Splinter was no longer in sight. He would have to tell him what was going on, but he really wanted to talk to Leonardo first, so he quickly darted back to their bedroom. His brother was already awake, staring placidly out the window into the darkness. He glanced over when he heard Mike come in, and turned to face him.

"Hey." He said softly. "Where did you go?"

"Took a hike so I could get a signal. I couldn't sleep, and Master said it was okay."

"Did you call Donnie?"

"Yeah. I figured it could have been my imagination, but I didn't want to keep wondering if something could be wrong."

"I heard you a couple of times. Is everything okay at home?"

"No, not really. Raph went off and got busted up a few hours ago - managed to make it to Luke's apartment. Then one of _his_ old friends from the hospital was all worried about Luke and stuff, decided to do some snooping. He got into Luke's apartment and he saw Raph."

"Ah _man_..."

"Don said Luke trusts the guy. I don't know what else to to say on that."

"Is Raph hurt bad?"

"Bad enough. Hasn't been awake, Donnie said he's got a head injury and something with his ribs, among whatever else."

"Donnie must be going out of his _mind_ underground."

"You're kidding right? You honestly think he stayed put?"

"_Tell _me he didn't chase after Raphael - please tell me he didn't?"

"He didn't _chase _because Raph never activated his watch. He didn't know anything was wrong until Luke called him. But then he got right on his bike to take blood and supplies to the surface."

Leonardo hit the mattress with his fist. "_Dang it_! Why couldn't Raph just stay put for three _days_?" Then he faltered somewhat, flopping back down on the bed with a blank look. "But it's still not really his fault."

"Leo, we've _gotta_ talk about Donnie." Mike said carefully. "You need to understand how hurt he is."

His brother didn't look at him, and took several seconds to respond. "A day doesn't pass that I don't think about it. I know I destroyed him."

"I'm not talking about what happened last year Leo - I'm talking about _now_, the present. You're _hurting _him."

"I'm trying _not_ to hurt him!"

"_Avoiding_ him isn't the way to do it."

"Mike, I don't know what to do, what to say. I feel so guilty, and so lost. I've been waiting and praying for months, that everything would just be okay. Now a whole year is gone, and I'm terrified that he's never going to be the same physically - that he's _never_ going to completely heal."

"This isn't just about his _knee_ Leonardo. He feels completely cut off from you. He's been forcing a good face, trying to make everyone else happy, but he's miserable. Until the two of you work something out, I don't think he'll _ever_ be okay physically. You're going to have to reach deep and push past this guilt, because your brother _needs_ you."


	9. Unresolved Shame

Around 9am, Raphael had just started to come around. He opened dark eyes slowly, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling. He took a sharp breath as he tried to figure out where he was, and groaned openly at the pain the simple action caused in his chest.

"Raph?"

_That_ voice was familiar.

He tried to push himself up slightly on his elbows so he could see better, but Luke was instantly at his side to stop him.

"Take it easy killer. You don't need to try that yet."

"Doc, how'd I get here?" He rasped.

"Beats me Raph, you got here on your own."

"I did?" He said quietly, brow furrowing as he tried to think. "Oh, I did. I'm not sure what's real and what isn't. Have you talked to Donnie?"

"Donnie's back in my room, still asleep I hope."

"Ah _heck_, he had to drag himself up here? How could I have been such an idiot? I was _supposed_ to look after him."

"Raph, what happened? Why'd you leave?"

"I just went off I guess. He brought up Leo and I didn't want to talk about it...I just...I blew up and left."

"Don't you understand he's been trying to hide how awful he feels? Why would you run from him when he _tried_ to open up to you?"

"I'm not any good at this Doc. I still feel like the whole thing is my fault anyway - and this just caps it off."

"We've _been_ over this Raph. You're not responsible for Leonardo's actions."

"You could say it a million times Doc, and I'll never agree with you."

* * *

_(One Year Ago - Continued)_

* * *

Luke looked up in surprise as Jenna swept back into the Lab with a huff.

"That was fast." He remarked.

"Leo's back." She said shortly, and went back to sit by Donatello, obviously still fuming.

Raphael swallowed nervously on the other end of the room. "I'll go make the coffee - be back in a little bit."

As he left Luke came over to her. "Are you okay?"

"He was just a complete jerk, that's all." She answered softly. "Raph is falling all over himself with shame, and he's--"

"What did you do to your hand?" Luke interrupted, and she glanced down at the swelling bruise on her right knuckle, and rubbed it absent-mindedly.

"It's nothing."

"You didn't have it five minutes ago."

"I hit Leonardo."

"No you didn't."

"_Yes_, I did. It felt incredible."

Luke couldn't hold back a laugh. "You've got guts - I'll give you that."

"Did you scan Donatello's knee?"

"I just finished patching it through the computer. I need some real time to study this stuff, but..."

"Luke, what are you thinking? You may as well tell me."

"Sit back down Jenna, and I'll grab you an ice pack."

She obeyed, but wasn't letting this go. "Tell me what you _do_ know."

"Okay. The knee has four different ligaments, that help control the joints and give the entire bone stability. They're an extremely crucial factor for using the limb at _all. _There's a certain small ligament called the anterior cruciate, we just call it the ACL. It's basically the most important in terms of general stability, and it's been completely torn from the bone."

"What does that mean for him? Is it like having a broken bone?"

"Uh, not quite. Bones will mend, heal if they're set properly. Ligaments don't heal like that Jenna, and there are a lot of complications that can arise without proper treatment." He stopped for a long moment, and Jenna gave him a look.

"Be honest."

"If he has further damage, I don't even want to think about it right this second."

"Worst case scenerio Doc - just give it to me."

"Yes Doc, give it to _us_." Mike called wearily from across the room.

"I thought I told you to sleep." Luke said sternly to him.

"I can't. What's this ligament thing really mean Doc?"

Luke sighed, glancing between him and Jenna. "Alright, alright. With the severity of the tear I can pretty much _expect_ to find additonal damage...possibly to the posterior cruciate, or his meniscus, which is the protective cartlidge in his knee. Cartlidge is one of those things...once it's gone, it's gone. It can be debilitating. He could develope an ACL defiency, where his knee would just give out randomly in every day life.

See, ligaments are like ropes, and their job is to hold the bone together. When they get damaged, the bones slide abnormally, and don't function the way that they're supposed to."

"But you can help him, can't you?" Jenna asked. "What do you do for humans?"

"It varies by different cases, many times, it's just rest and rehab. But the ligament is always going to be vulnerable, to that extent that people have been encouraged not to participate in high energy contact sports or..."

"Hold the phone." Mike said, sitting up instantly straighter. "Are you saying he's not gonna be able to_ fight _anymore?"

"Right now, I'm more concerned with him just being able to _function_." Luke said honestly. "In cases with extreme or severe damage, reconstructive surgery is often required."

"Can you even do that?" Mike asked.

"I don't know." Luke answered tightly. "But whatever the method, his knee is never going to be the same. Period. Leonardo has caused permanent damage."

Raphael had quietly returned, in time to hear Luke's answer to Mike's question. "Permanent?" He repeated shakily, quickly putting down the coffee pot so he wouldn't drop it.

Luke and Jenna glanced over as he backed against the wall, openly trembling.

"Oh God...oh God..." He murmured, sliding down slowly to the floor. He instantly broke down, rocking back and forth like a child.

Jenna had been feeling so numb towards him, but something broke in _her_ at that moment too. When she came to his level he immediately jerked away from her.

"Don't touch me!" He gasped. "It's _my_ fault! I pushed him, I made him insecure, I made him question! Leo would never...he wouldn't have done it! He's hurt because of _me_." He couldn't say anything more, shaking so hard he felt like he was going to be physically sick.

Some of the anger inside Luke had now dissipated a bit too, and he went to take a firm hold of him.

"Don't be _nice_ to me, I don't deserve it!" He insisted, falling limp in Luke's arms.

"Raphael, there is a distinct difference between both your brothers' injuries. There's also a huge difference in how you acted afterwards. This was _wrong_ on so many levels, but no one can dispute that you care. Now, you didn't even touch Donatello, right? Anything that was _said_, you're not ultimately responsible for what happened. But can you tell us _why_ this happened?"

"I don't think it was really one thing or another." Raphael said weakly. "I think it was partly jealousy, because Don and Mike are such a good team, so formidable. There's nothing they can't do together, even though they're so different. Leo acts tough, but I know he's never felt like he measured up. Their potential kept increasing, while he and I struggled just to co-exist. When Mike beat Leo in the spar earlier this week, it broke somethin' in him. He took it like an insult, an affront on his leadership. We talked about it and I said stuff I shouldn't have said, about respect and abilities. He was humiliated, and I completely fed into it. This is so messed up - how did I _get _here?"

No one said anything for a long moment, until Mike forced his way back upright. "Raph, c'mere. Come on, I can't come to you."

Slowly he rose, coming over to sit by him. "Mike, I don't know what to say."

"Then don't say anything - just listen."

Hesitantly, Raphael raised his head to look at him.

"I'm hurt Raph, I'm _really_ hurt." Mike said softly, and his brother knew he wasn't talking about physical injuries. "That said, what happened to Donnie wasn't your fault or doing. You didn't lay a hand on him."

"I laid both hands on _you_."

"I know, and I'm not gonna forget it anytime soon. But at the end of the day, I know that you're sorry, and I can't say that for Leo." He held out his good arm towards his brother. "I _forgive_ you, okay? Just promise me you'll never do anything like this again."

"I _promise_." He answered vehemently. "But I don't deserve your forgiveness."

"If we only got what we deserved, this world would be a worse place than it is." Mike answered. "Thanks for being there for Donnie today."

"It was the absolute least that I could do." He let out a quick breath and plunged ahead. "How's the shoulder?"

"Better. Luke's got it back in the socket, and the pain's not bad right now."

"You gonna need some rehab?"

"What doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

"Somehow, I swear I'm gonna make this up to you."

"My head...is getting fuzzy." He answered quietly. "I'm really tired."

Luke came over and laid a hand lightly on his forehead. "You're getting feverish Mike. _Please_ get some sleep - Donnie's in good hands."


	10. Sweet Reunion

Present Day

* * *

Jenna had landed in New York - more than a little jetlagged, and anxious to connect with somebody. She tried Donatello first, but he still wasn't answering. Ditto for the other turtles, April, and Luke. Was she the _only_ person alive who still answered the phone? Frustration was turning into anxiety, and she decided quickly she would just have to go after them. She was waiting in a line to rent a motorcycle out of the airport so that it would be easier to get through traffic, and she could take it underground if she needed to.

Her first thought was to simply head down, but it occured to her that it would make more sense to try the location software Donatello had built into her cell-phone. She had nothing better to do while she waited in line, so she typed Donatello's code into her search function, tapping her foot nervously as she waited for the coordinates of the GPS to come back. It was set up to recognize addresses to make finding locations easier - and when it had a result, she knew automatically that he was at Luke's. So _why_ wasn't he answering his phone?

She impatiently typed in Luke's code, and came up with the same result. One by one she checked on the others, surprised when everyone else but Raph was located nowhere near New York City. _That_ was weird. No matter. If they wouldn't answer _her_, she was going to just drop in on _them_. As soon as she could get up to the counter that is.

* * *

After taking some time to look after Raphael, Luke had gone in to check on Donatello. He found him staring at the ceiling, looking somewhat forlorn.

"Hey. Good morning." Luke said tentatively.

"I guess." He said unhappily, glancing down at the immobilizer that Doc had put back on while he was drugged the night before.

"I'm sorry Donnie, it had to be done."

"Aw Doc, I'm not blaming you. I just can't pretend everything's okay this morning, I don't have the energy."

"I don't _want_ you to pretend. I'd rather you just be honest than try to tell me it's okay when it's not."

Donatello seemed to be mulling something over for a moment, and then looked straight at Luke. "It's worse than you thought, isn't it?"

Luke ran a hand through his touseled blonde hair, something he literally only did when he was nervous.

"I knew it." Donnie said softly. "Oh brother...Doc, what am I gonna _do_?"

"First, you're not going to panic."

"You've gotta tell me what you know Luke - I'm not going to remotely relax until you do."

After a beat of serious hesitation, he gave Donatello a condensed version of his history with Marcus, and what his doctor friend had shared with him about his knee.

Donnie didn't say anything, didn't seem to react in any way at all. He seemed to pass right over it as he suddenly sat up straighter. "How's Raph doing?"

"He's alright, he woke up this morning. Everything seems stable, he's just in pain, doesn't remember a whole lot of last night. Listen you should probably eat something. I want to get some food in you, and we can talk some more if you want."

"Hang on, can you help me? I don't know where my phone went. It was over here on the table, I talked to Mike around 5am...I told him everything by the way. Now I don't see it."

Luke got down on the floor to search by the nightstand, and then felt around under the bed. "Uh...here we go. You've got a missed call."

"Shoot! I hope that wasn't one of the guys!" Donatello exclaimed, flipping it back open. "Oh. Jenna. Dang it, she tried calling me last night too."

"You gonna call her back?" Luke asked somewhat guiltily, refraining from telling him he had ignored a phone call from her on purpose.

"Yeah, just...not right this second."

* * *

Donnie ate enough to appease Luke, but didn't seem interested in talking about anything more right then, so Luke let him be. He made sure Marcus was awake, and then retreated back to his chair in the spare room. Raphael was asleep again, and he decided to get a few winks now while he could too. He had asked Marcus to keep a little bit of an eye on Donnie in case he needed anything. That had been about an hour before, and he decided it was a good time to check in.

Donatello wished he could go back to sleep just for a small escape, but he had no such luck. He raised his head questioningly when he heard someone come in, and focused on the stranger from last night.

"Hey. How are you doing?" Marcus asked him, and Donatello shrugged.

"I've been better, that's for sure."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I'm kinda thirsty - just water would be good."

Marcus trotted to the kitchen to retrieve a bottled water and brought it back to him. As he shifted to sit up further, a sharp shooting pain through his right knee made him grab the mattress for support.

"You okay?" Marcus asked urgently.

"Dang it." He said painfully, slowly releasing his grip on the bed - but then frustration took over and he pounded down both hands as hard as he could. "Dang it!"

Marcus took a nervous breath, sitting down beside him. "Easy, come on. I got your water."

"I don't want it." He murmured. "I want my _life_ back!"

Marc paused to think, grasping for the right words. "I'm sorry. I know Luke told you about what we discussed. I also know you've been in serious pain for months. As frustrating as it is, staying off of it is the best thing for you right now."

"I'm so _tired_ of resting." He said, sounding weary even as he said it. "I'm so _tired_ of being everyone else's problem! Do you have any idea what that feels like?"

"In a way, I kind of do. I've struggled with chronic asthma my whole life. No matter what I tried, I always ended up feeling like a burden on someone else when I was growing up."

"I'm sorry for unloading on you. I just can't say this stuff to the others."

"It's okay," Marcus assured him. "Y'know, being a doctor has given me a chance to see both sides of the equation, and given me a little understanding into myself at the same time."

"Such as?"

"When somebody loves you, they just do. Physical injuries, chronic illness can't change that. Not everyone has the same attitude, but from a care-givers perspective...they basically just want to do everything in their power to help. Most of 'em would trade places with the patient if they had the choice."

"I know my brothers, my friends would do anything for me. But between feeling so helpless in myself, and the sheer awkwardness of things...I'm feeling lower than I ever have, and that was _before_ I found out it was worse."

* * *

When Jenna was outside Luke's apartment, she tried calling him once more to no avail. When he didn't answer she simply slapped her phone shut, and didn't try anyone else. She was done with this game. She walked through the foyer, ignored the desk clerk, and hopped directly on the elevator for the top floor. As she walked down the hall, she fished through her pocket for keys, slowly fingering through a couple before finding the right one.

She knocked firmly at his door, and waited a good five minutes for a response. When nothing happened, she let herself in, and shut the door behind her. "Luke?" She called out questioningly. "Luke, where are you? Guys? Hello?"

She heard someone coming down the hall and expected it to be her friend - instead she was startled to see a complete stranger coming towards her. Alarmed, she struck the man with surprising force, knocking him completely off balance. He went down on the coffee table with a terrific bang, and Jenna pinned him down neatly with the use of a trained pressure point the guys had taught her. When he struggled she only pressed harder, leveling incredible force against the back of his neck. He was trying to form words, but wasn't able to manage more than a strangled gasp.

Jenna's adrenaline was pumping so hard she could literally hear her heart beating. Over that sound she heard someone else running down the hall, but didn't loosen her death grip.

Luke had been awakened with a start by the sound of the struggle, and instantly came running to the living room. When he saw the scene before his eyes, his mouth opened but no sound immediately came out. Then he snapped out of it quickly. "Jenna? How did you...where...what?!" Was his first confused exclamation, and then, "Don't hurt him Jen! Let him go, he's a friend!"

"Since _when_?" She seethed angriliy.

"Since _last _night. I'm sorry, everything happened really fast! Please let him go!"

She released Marcus then, and the man instantly hit the floor on his knees, unsuccessfully trying to catch his breath. When his hand darted to his pocket Jenna almost jumped him again, until she saw he was only going for an inhaler. As the man struggled to get his airway back, he couldn't help staring at the girl, no, _woman_ standing over him.

She had long jet black hair that was tightly pulled back to reveal a graceful neck and beautiful face. Light blue eyes had been narrowed with anger, and were only now starting to soften as she could see how much trouble he was having. She turned away from him to focus an accusing stare on Luke.

"Why the _heck_ didn't you answer your phone? Do you know how worried I've been?"

When she spoke now, Marcus immediately picked up on the lilting australian accent. He had finally managed to pull himself back together, and slowly rose to sit on the couch.

"Jenna, I'm _really_ sorry." Luke said, quietly trying to calm her down. "It's been a rough few hours - and I had no idea you were in New York."

"_Nobody_ did, because _nobody_ answered the phone! I called when I landed in California, and tried it all over again when I got in here." She replied, casting a glance over at Marcus. "Are you alright? I'm sorry I went off like that - I wasn't expecting to see a stranger here with the guys and everything."

"I'm okay." He answered evenly. "After what I did last night, I probably deserved it anyway."

"Jenna, this is Marcus Sloan. He and I went to med school together - now he's an MD over at St. Josephs'. He sort of accidently became involved last night, and has been helping me with some things since."

"Is that why you didn't answer your phone, are the guys hurt?" She asked instantly.

"I was avoiding you. I figured you'd give me the third degree about Donnie, and I just wasn't up to it yet. I'm really sorry. Raph got into it with some group last night, I have no idea what actually happened. He called me at the hospital, he'd managed to make it back to the apartment, so I just rushed home. He was hurt pretty bad, not really in any condition to go anywhere. Donnie brought up some supplies, and he's still here too."

"What's wrong with _him_ then, is it just more of the same?"

"His knee hasn't been getting better." Luke said honestly. "Marcus is an orthopedic surgeon, and I had him look at his scans last night. The damage has actually been getting progressively worse, I think Donnie just learned to cope with a lot of the pain, figured he would have to live with it."

"How can it be _worse_?" Jenna cried. "He's been doing everything he could!"

"Unfortunately, it hasn't been enough."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course you can. He's back in my bedroom - I'd be surprised if he hadn't already heard something."

* * *

Jenna pushed the door open slowly, glancing inside to see Donatello fiddling with the screen on his music player. He didn't seem to hear her or look up right away, so she walked inside. When he did glance up, he was so shocked that he nearly jumped, and yanked off his headphones.

"_Jenna_? What...How are you here?"

"I got on a couple of planes." She said matter-a-factly, and sat down next to him. "I felt like I needed to see you face to face."

He reached for her and she immediately crawled up further on the left side of the bed beside him.

"I can't _believe_ you're here. I've missed you." He said, and she kissed him deeply, resting a hand under his chin.

"I missed you too."

"You've got great timing you know. I'm sorry I missed your calls - I was a little out of it last night, and then my phone disappeared. I was going to call you back..."

"Donnie, you haven't been yourself lately. I didn't know if it was something here at home, or if it was _me_...or...I don't know. You've just never been this distant, and it worried me. And the last time we talked you just sounded flat out depressed."

"Are you telling me you took two planes, and flew over twenty hours, just because you felt like I was depressed?"

"Is that crazy?"

"Probably, but it makes it impossible for me not to say it anymore. I _love_ you Jenna, I always have."

Her blue eyes widened with surprise and then joy, as she swiftly moved to kiss him again.

In that one moment, Donatello felt closer to her than he ever had before, as if some invisible wall had just come crashing down.

"Do you know how long I've wanted to hear that?" Jenna asked softly.

"I'm so sorry Jen - you've no idea how hard it was _not_ to say it. I've wanted to so many times..."

"But you also wanted me to find somebody else." She finished for him. "I've got news for you. I'm not going anywhere."


	11. Fugitive

With Jenna around to help keep an eye on the guys, Marcus left the apartment to go pick up some things of his own, and Luke finally started to unwind a little bit himself. Donatello's spirits were already markedly improved, as if a portion of weight had already been lifted from his shoulders.

Luke smiled to himself as he walked Marcus to the door, and heard them laughing back in the bedroom. She definitely did more good for him than painkillers.

He trotted back to the half open door, pushing it open the rest of the way with a wave. Jenna paused the video game they'd been playing, and both looked his direction as he stuck his head in the door.

"Hey guys. I'm just gonna get a shower, okay? Raph was asleep last I checked. I'll just be a few minutes." He told them.

"Sure, y' know I can hold down the fort." Jenna spoke up.

"She just can't keep a_ car _out of oncoming traffic." Donatello cracked with another laugh.

She slugged him lightly in the shoulder. "_You're_ the one who wanted to play this game. Those other cars came out of nowhere!"

"Seriously, in America we drive on the _right_ side of the freeway."

Luke shook his head with a laugh. He was _definitely_ glad she was here.

* * *

Raphael had feigned sleep the last time he had heard Luke coming - he'd actually been gingerly testing his strength every time they left him alone, checking how far he could push himself. Now that he heard the shower running, he knew he'd better make his move while the getting was good. He carefully pulled the needle out of his arm, and slowly swung both legs over the side of the bed. The motion caused serious pain in his chest and made him dizzy at the same time, so he waited for a few moments, gripping his taped up side.

Then he levered himself against the bed and tested his weight on both legs, not letting go until he was positive that they would support him. With a somewhat shaky breath he took one step, followed by another, and another. It was extremely slow going, and he took support from whatever object was in his reach at a given time. When he reached the hall he nearly stumbled, barely keeping his feet as he leaned heavily against the wall.

_Okay Raph, you can do this. One little step at a time._

He braced one arm against the wall and took a few more halting steps, stopping whenever the room started spinning too much.

_Not much farther._

He grabbed onto the door of Luke's bedroom like a lifeline, and pulled it open the rest of the way.

Don and Jenna both glanced up, shock registering in seconds.

"Raph, what are you _doing_?" Donnie cried as Jenna leaped off the bed to help him. She pulled Raphael's arm over her shoulder, and carefully guided him to a chair.

"I _have_ to talk to you." He said wearily, and then glanced at Jenna. "Thanks - good to see ya by the way."

"Doc is gonna kill you." She told him.

"Can you do me the hugest favor in the whole world, and just keep him busy for a little while when he gets out?" He pleaded.

"Well, I'll try. No promises." She said, and disappeared, shutting the door tightly behind her.

"Sheesh Raph, it coulda waited. It's not worth getting hurt _worse_ over." Donnie reprimanded him.

"Yes, yes actually it is to me." He said evenly, looking his brother directly in the eyes. "Donnie, I'm so _sorry_ I left like that. There's no excuse."

"I'm just glad you made it to Doc's okay. Look, don't worry about it, alright?"

"How can I not worry when I see you like this? And it's all thanks to me _again_."

"Raph my knee was already going _down_ hill more than up - this just shed a little more light on it." Donnie said patiently, and then cocked his head strangely. "What do you mean _again_? You never hurt me before."

"Donnie, there's a reason I left...a reason I didn't want to talk about...stuff."

"I'm sorry I pushed you about Leo. I know it's hard to be caught in the middle of all this."

"That's not it Donnie, that's not it at all. I never told you, I guess I was just ashamed. I can't _stand_ to talk about this 'cause I feel so guilty."

"Why do _you_ feel guilty?"

"Because I pushed Leo's buttons! I knew how to get him worked up, and that's _exactly_ what I did. You remember that day that Mike--no, of course you remember. Well after that spar, I gave Leo such a hard time. He was already upset and insecure, and I made everything ten times _worse_. If it wasn't for me, none of this would ever have happened! You'd be fine, and this family would still be in one piece. I wrecked everything - me and my stupid _mouth_."

Donnie leaned back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling for several seconds. "Boy, we're quite the trio aren't we?" He finally said. "Leo feels too guilty to accept forgiveness I tried to give him _months_ ago. _You_ feel guilty 'cause you think you talked him into it. And I still feel like I could have prevented the whole thing, like there was _something_ I could have done. This has to stop - it has to. We're not _getting_ anywhere."

"Trust me, if I knew how to fix this, I would do it. I should have come out with it sooner - bein' quiet just made me feel worse."

"Raph, Leonardo _told_ me the attack was all his idea. I know you guys had words and all, but that doesn't make this _your_ fault."

"I went along with it. I coulda stopped it."

"_Enough_. Enough, okay? Let's forget about fault completely. It's over, it's done. Whatever part anybody had to play, I'm so ready to get past all this. But I can't do that if you won't let me."

* * *

Jenna had been sitting out in the living room, waiting to hear the water stop in the bathroom. She knew it had taken Raphael awhile just to get himself to the other room, so it probably wouldn't be long before Luke came out. She shot to her feet when he came out of the bathroom, still rubbing a towel over his head.

"Hey Luke, are you hungry?"

"Not really, but feel free to have at the kitchen. There _is _actually some food in there for once. Did you give up on the game?"

"Oh, it gave up on me. You can only crash a car so many times before it goes on strike."

"That's funny. Hey, why don't you take a load off? You don't need to act like a stranger here." Luke told her.

"I'm good - I've been sitting for almost a day, remember?"

"Oh yeah. Well this couch pulls out y'know, you've _gotta_ be tired. Bathroom's free if you want a shower first."

"That'd be good, I'll look into that in a second. Where are you going?" She asked as he started to turn back towards the hall.

"I forgot to check the level on Raph's IV, he's probably getting close to needing a refill."

"Hang on a second, can you show me how this couch works?"

He went back with her into the living room and pulled off the cushions, tossing them over by the wall. "It does tend to stick a little bit - but a good tug will usually get it moving."

Jenna pushed the coffee table aside as he pulled out the sofa bed, and dusted off his hands.

"I've got some linens in the closet in the back bedroom, I'll go grab 'em for you." Luke said.

"Wait a minute, are you sure you're not hungry or thirsty or..."

"Jenna, is there some particular reason you don't want me to go back there?"

"I really couldn't say." She said meekly.

Luke turned on heel and immediately went back to the room, with Jenna right behind him.

"Alright, where the heck did he go?" He asked her.

"I really couldn't say."

"You don't need to - this apartment only _has_ so many rooms."


	12. Coming Home

Luke crossed his arms in the middle of the Master Bedroom, softening somewhat when he saw the remnant of tears in Raphael's eyes. He cleared his throat decisively, and Raph finally looked his direction a little guiltily.

"Hey Doc, what's shakin'?" He asked with a half smile.

"Do you have a clue how much you could have hurt yourself? What were you _thinking_ Raph?" He asked sternly.

"I _never_ do any thinking - how do you expect I end up this way?" He asked impishly.

"He _has_ a point." Donatello volunteered with a grin.

"Don't _help_ him Donnie. Okay Raph, did you do whatever was so important?"

"Yeah, I think...I think I did. What do you say Donnie?" Raph asked him.

His brother nodded. "I say two down, and one to go."

* * *

Luke helped Raphael get back to the other bedroom, and started to set him up with a new IV.

"How are you feeling?" Luke asked him.

"Physically? Not so good. But on the other hand...I feel better than I have in a _long _time."

"Glad to hear it. _Don't_ do that again."

"You're the boss Doc."

Luke had just successfully found a vein to put the IV back in when his phone buzzed. He carefully inserted the needle and grabbed his phone off the side-table.

"Hello?"

"Hey Doc, can you hear me okay?"

"Is that you Mikey?"

"Yeah, Sensei wanted me to get you on the phone for him. I think the signal's good enough, so hang on a second, let me grab him."

Luke waited patiently until Splinter was clearly on the other end.

"Are you still there Luke?"

"I'm here Master Splinter - what can I do for you?"

"Michelangelo has told us of the events of last night. We had to wait for nightfall before we could attempt another contact like this, it requires quite a bit of a climb in the open. What is happening there?"

"Well I haven't had a chance to be bored, _that's_ for sure. Everybody is stable on this end, and resting. Um...Jenna showed up this afternoon, so _that_ was a real surprise. I suppose you'd like to know about this character who got into my apartment last night."

"I was told Donatello said you trust him, but we could use a little assurance on this end."

"He was my best friend through med school, we kinda lost touch after that. I've worked with him off and on through St. Josephs', he's actually been getting on my case a lot lately, whenever he could find me that is. Just trying to get me to settle down and work a real schedule with a real position. I had no idea he still had a key to my place, or that he would try anything _remotely_ like this. But he's my responsibility, and I'm really, really sorry."

"Do you believe him to be a man of his word?"

"I do Master Splinter, I do. Even though I never planned anything like this...it might turn out to be the best thing that could have happened for Donatello. Guy's name is Marcus Sloan, he's a very successful orthopedic specialist. If it turns out that we can _use_ him...we might actually be able to get somewhere with his knee injury."

Splinter paused for a long moment on the other end. "I know that he has been trying to veil much of the pain from our sight. I imagined it could take much longer to heal than originally anticipated."

"It's _not _healing correctly, and it isn't going to on it's own." Luke told him honestly.

"I will want to meet him."

"I can arrange that as soon as you guys get back."

"As soon as I hang up with you, we're going to head back down to our cabin to pick up the van. We'll start driving back through the night, but it will still be several hours yet before we are able to reach you. Is he there right now?"

"No, he went back to his apartment to pick up a few things. I hope I'm doing the right thing with him Master Splinter, I couldn't exactly hold him prisoner."

"Just stay in contact with him and follow your instincts. If you need to move them, do whatever you have to."

"Okay." He said in a small voice, his own nervousness growing by the second. "Well, you've got a long drive ahead of you, you should probably get back down that mountain."

"We will call you when we can from the road. Keep an eye on my boys."

"I am, I promise. Tell the guys to drive safe - and I'll see you tomorrow I guess." Luke hung up, and gave Raph a weary smile.

"They're coming home." He told him.

"You sound nervous about Marcus now. Are you sure letting him leave was a good thing?"

"_No_, but what could I do? Somebody would have been looking for him eventually, and like I told your Sensei, we can't really hold him as a prisoner. We're kind of at his mercy."

"I don't really like that feeling."

"Neither do I. I _should_ have been more careful. I should have remembered I lent that key to him years ago."

"Doc, he would never have showed up at your place last night if it weren't for _me _getting myself in trouble."

"Let's not start this over again, okay?" Luke said with a wry smile. "Let's try to hope for the best."

"And prepare for the worst?" Raph remarked.

"Something like that. Maybe I should have sent Jenna with him, I bet _she_ could have kept him in line."

"Yeah, we taught that chick well, huh?"

"You could say that. She's certainly a godsend for your brother - her showing up dramatically altered his mood."

"How could it not? The guy's in _love_ with her. There are times when I seriously wish I knew what that felt like."

"You and me both Raph. Did you and Donnie have a good talk?"

"Yeah, we really did. He helped me see that...nothing's ever gonna be better until we just put this stuff aside. And he's right. I've been punishing myself for over a year, and it hasn't done a bit of good. I just hope Leo can come around. I'm ready to be a real team again."


	13. Worth It

Jenna had gone and gotten a shower after sufficiently distracting Luke, and finally gotten out of the same clothes she felt like she'd been wearing for eternity. She had changed into a pair of comfortable fleece pajamas, and left her dark hair down over her shoulders, not bothered by the fact that it was still slightly damp. It was close to 10pm, so that made it a pretty good time for her to check back in with her Mom in Australia again. She curled up in a chair and hit the speed dial on her phone to call her.

Victoria answered on the second ring, obviously happy to hear from her.

"Hi Mom - I just thought I'd let you know that I'm settled over here."

"You got a hold of your friends alright?"

"I had to do a little tracking down - a few of them are out of the city right now."

"Not _Donnie_ I hope."

"No, he stayed behind, wasn't really up for the hiking/outdoorsy stuff they were gonna be doing." Jenna replied.

Jenna had told her parents _very_ minimal information about the turtles through the years. They knew that she still had close contact and relationships with the guys who had protected her years ago, and learned quickly not to try and push her about who they really were. Victoria also knew that Jenna had extremely strong feelings for one of them - a topic of conversation that Jenna often danced around with great caution, never revealing any true specifics except for his name, to make a point of reference easier.

"How is he doing?" Victoria asked her.

"It turns out that he was hurt worse than they originally thought." Jenna said slowly. "It's looking like he actually needs to go through surgery of some kind...if that's even _possible_. Nothing's really for sure right now. Part of me felt really stupid leaving the way I did, but I'm really glad I came Mom. He...he told me that he loved me."

"He's never said it back to you, has he?"

"No, and I honestly wasn't sure if he ever _would_. He's always been on my case to find somebody else, somebody I can 'share a life with'. He's said it time and time again, that he doesn't think he deserves me." Jenna sighed quietly, and plunged ahead. "This is so _hard_. When we're together, it's like the whole universe existed...just to see us matched up. But I _miss_ you and Dad - I want you to be a part of this too, and I don't know how that can happen."

"You only need to ask yourself one question right now Jenna. Is this truly worth it to you, the two of you being together? Is it worth the wait, worth the separation, and being pulled in different directions?"

"Yes, it's worth it to me. But I don't want anyone else to...I don't want to leave you behind, or forget the things you've done for me. I can't do that."

"Sweetheart, you don't need to have all the answers - in fact, you never will. I understand the turmoil you're going through, and I want you to know that _we're _okay. You're our daughter Jenna, but you don't _belong_ to us. Just keep me in the loop, alright? And I hope that Donnie will be okay too."

"We're working on that part. Okay, well, I know you're supposed to be working right now, so I'll let you go. I love you."

"I love you too honey. I'll call you later, okay?"

* * *

Jenna was so tired she could feel it in her bones, but she bypassed the sofa bed and instead returned to the Master Bedroom to see if Donnie was asleep. His head popped up immediately when she pushed the door open, and he smiled broadly when he saw her.

"Hey. I'm surprised you're not asleep on your feet by now." He said.

"Oh, I'm tired alright, but I'll catch up." She replied as she came over to sit on the edge of the bed. "I just got off the phone with my Mom."

"How _are_ your parents?"

"You mean, how are they dealing with the fact that I fled the continent at a moment's notice? They seem to be fine. They've been letting me go more and more over the last couple of years. It's the way of nature I suppose, but it still tears me up sometimes."

Donatello reached for her hand, and she crawled up further beside him.

"You know I never wanted you to have to leave them behind, to have to leave your _life_ behind. That's why it took me so long to tell you...why even now, I don't really know what's right. I know I _love_ you. But as far as anything else...I still want so much more for you."

Jenna pressed her hand lightly to his mouth. "Stop. I was just lamenting to my Mom about not knowing what to do, not having the answers. She said I needed to ask myself one question - is it worth it? Donatello, I didn't even have to hesitate, or take time to think about it. The answer is _yes_, it's worth it to me. But is this worth it to _you_? You can't spend your entire life wishing that I had chased after something 'better'. Sooner or later you're going to have to push me off completely, or accept that you're one of the best things that ever happened to me. You'd have to accept the fact that I love you completely, so much more than I knew I could love anyone."

He took a shaky breath and kissed her for a long moment. "_You're_ worth it Jenna. I'd rather give up _both_ legs than push you away."

She leaned her forehead against his for a few seconds, and then laid back down on his shoulder.

"I think we just need to accept the fact that this is _going_ to be hard. But I'm in this for the long haul Donnie - and I hope one day you'll realize that there's no one better for me than the one I'm staring at right now."


	14. Missing in Action

Jenna had retreated from the Master Bedroom a few minutes later so that Donnie would rest, and she could get some sleep herself. She sighed heavily as she relaxed under the covers on the sofa bed, and closed her eyes. She was completely out and dead to the world around her in less than five minutes.

She came around again about four hours later, sitting up slightly to look at her watch in the light coming in from the street. She was still tired, but she was also _really_ thirsty. Jenna rose and staggered across the living room into the kitchen, and picked up a bottled water from the fridge.

Then she wandered back out to the hall, and peeked into the Master Bedroom. Donatello was fast asleep, so she closed the door as quietly as she'd opened it. She slipped down the hall next to see if Luke was awake in the back bedroom. He was leaning almost upright in his favorite chair, but he looked like he was nearly dozing with his eyes open. Raphael was clearly knocked out, so she quietly stole into the room to check on Luke.

"Hey." She said softly. "You okay?"

"Hm? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm here." He said.

"I must have really been asleep, I haven't even heard a thing in hours. Do you need to get some rest Luke? Did Marcus ever come back?"

"What?"

"Marcus - did he ever come back?" She repeated. "He said he was going to, didn't he?"

"Yeah, he _said_ he was. What time is it?"

"It's like 4am. Clearly, he isn't here. Have you heard from him? What did he say he was goin' to do?"

"He said he was gonna finish a couple of things, and grab some stuff from his apartment. _Shoot_. I can't believe I fell asleep. I feel like an idiot." Luke said haggardly as he got to his feet, and snatched his phone off the desk. "I'll see if I can find out where he is."

Jenna stood quietly by as he listened to the phone ring several times, and voice mail eventually picked up.

"Dang it!" Luke exclaimed quietly. "He's not answering. I'm _gonna_ kill him."

He hurried out into the living room with Jenna on his heels, and started grabbing all of his effects together.

"Okay, what are you thinking?" Jenna asked him.

"I don't know what to think."

"You said you trusted him."

"That was six hours ago. He should have been back here by now! I can't believe I let him out of my sight!"

"Let's not panic, okay? Is there some valid reason he might not be here? He didn't answer his phone, but maybe he fell asleep too."

"Most people in our field don't sleep through the phone - but yeah, there's a chance of that of course. Still, I'm not going to sit here to wait and find out."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to his place to raise some hell. I'm sorry, I know you're really tired, but there's no way I can just let this go."

"Forget it Luke, I got a few hours. Go look for him, and call me when you know anything?"

"I will." He grunted, as he pulled on his shoes, and then straightened back up. "Listen um, keep your eyes and ears open. Watch the windows, look out on the street. If something doesn't seem right, then blockade the door, and try to get out the balcony. Neither of the guys are in good shape, but I'm pretty sure they can still move if their life depends on it. I've got a 9mm., and I want you to keep it with you. Now that doesn't mean you go shooting anybody, but it could be helpful to create a distraction."

"I have immunity you know."

"_Jenna_..."

"I'm _just_ saying. Alright, get out of here before you make me more nervous."

* * *

Luke's heart was racing as he ran down the hallway to get to the elevator. He fingered his car keys nervously as he left the building, and sprinted the whole block away to where he'd been forced to park the other night. Marcus lived further up Main, closer to St. Joseph's; he'd been there a couple of times for different functions, and remembered well how to get there.

His stomach was in knots during the entire drive, every possible scenerio flashing through his mind. What had he _done_? He should have known better than to trust his emotions. He had been as close as brothers with Marcus once, but that was years ago. How could he have so blindly assumed that his old friend would keep his word?

He found street parking near Marc's building, and dashed up to the locked door. He knocked insistantly, waving to the security guard he could see through the window. The man cracked the door, pointing his obscenely large flashlight in Luke's face.

"I'm sorry sir, we don't admit visitors after a certain hour." He said briskly.

"No, now listen! I'm a doctor from St. Joseph's, and I need to get in there to see Marcus Sloan!" Luke said, fumbling through his wallet for his hospital ID. "See? It's an emergency, and he's not answering his phone. Please, I have to get in there!"

The guard stared at his ID for a very long moment, and then opened the door wider. "Okay buddy, but keep it _down_ in there."

Luke yanked his ID back from the man, and walked quickly to the closest elevator. When he hit Marcus' floor, he jogged down to the end, and knocked firmly on his door. When nothing happened, he tried again, and then waited again. He repeated the same process for over fifteen minutes, before the door to the right of his suddenly popped open.

An irritated red head peered out at him with something of a scowl. "_Some_ people are trying to sleep y' know. What'd, you forget your key?"

"No, I'm looking for Marcus, Marcus Sloan? Do you know him?"

"Dude's too straight for me, he's hardly ever _here _anyway. Uh...I think I might ' ave seen him earlier on tonight. Yeah, he was waiting to get on the elevator when I was getting off."

"When was that?"

"Geez, who are you, Father Time? _I_ don't know. Sometime after 1am."

"Did he say anything to you?"

"No. I got off, he got on, that was it. Now would you give it a rest?"

"Sorry." Luke said breathlessly, and hurried back to the hall.

When he'd made it back to his car, he immediately called Jenna.

"Did you find out anything?" She asked, without so much as a hello.

"He's not here - and his neighbor said she saw him getting on the down elevator sometime after 1. Jen, I don't know what to do, or where to look - he's still not answering his phone."

"Then get back here. If we're gonna have to move the guys, it'd be a heck of a lot easier with your help."

"Alright, I'm on my way."

* * *

When he made it back to his place, it was clear that Jenna had been freaking out a little bit.

"Right, what do you think we should do? Can we chance waiting a bit longer for him to turn up?" Jenna asked him immediately.

"Well, I _don't_ want to risk hurting either of them if we don't have to." Luke said anxiously, and then caught sight of Jenna's luggage. "You're re-packed."

"Wanted to be prepared, not that I would have the chance to grab it anyway. It was just something to do. Do you think we should go ahead and barricade the door, just in case?"

Luke didn't answer her; he'd caught sight of what looked like flashing lights reflecting off of a mirror in the living room. He raced over to the window and yanked the shade back all the way.

"What is it?" Jenna exclaimed.

"Cops, a bunch of them. Do you hear those sirens?"

She stretched to see over the window box, her breath catching in her chest. "Oh my God. Is this it?"

"I don't know. Shoot, this _can't_ be happening!" He said under his breath, and then dashed over to his TV cabinet, and started yanking wires out of the wall.

"What are you doing?"

"Not taking any chances! Can you help me move this thing?"

"This is for real?" Jenna gasped.

"_I don't know! _Help me!"


	15. Heart Stopper

Editor's Thoughts: Writing these last two chapters reminded me very much of the first time I read the Two Towers, after seeing the first of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I had to find out what happened next, and I remember very distinctly that I was riding with a van-load of students, on a road trip somewhere. I was near the end of the book, reading the part where Frodo is in Shelob's lair and seriously about to get himself killed. It was so intense that it showed on my face, and one of the guys actually stopped me to find out what in the world I was reading. That's the feeling I was kind of going for here.

* * *

They yanked the TV console over in front of the door, along with whatever other furniture they could quickly get their hands onto. Inbetween dragging pieces over they continued glancing out the window, fear rising with every minute that passed.

"Can you tell if they're surrounding the building?" Luke barked out to Jenna as she stopped for another glimpse.

"No, not really! There are a lot of uniforms down there, but I can't see that far around the side. Luke, shouldn't we be getting the guys up now?"

"Yeah, I guess so, before we run out of time completely. But we need a back-up plan, some kind of a real distraction. If you stay with them, I'll--"

"Luke, _you're_ the doctor, they need you more than me. And I still have my immunity!"

"Jenna for God's sake--"

He was interrupted by a low knock at the door - not demanding, but foreboding nonetheless.

"Forget it all Jenna, we have to move now!" Luke called to her.

But she wasn't paying attention to him anymore. "Luke, hang on, the cops are moving. They've...it looks like they've got somebody down there. No, there's more than one, c'mere and see!"

Luke hurried over and stretched to his full height to see around the corner. The uniforms below had pulled at least four figures aside, all business with hand-cuffs. Now they were being escorted back towards the cars, and Jenna held her breath for another long moment.

"Are they leaving?"

"It looks like it." Luke replied, and was startled out of his wits when his phone rang. _Marcus_. Luke was so mad, he could hardly keep himself from throwing the phone against the wall. Instead, he answered it.

"What do you want?" He demanded.

"Luke, I'm outside, can you let me in?"

"What happened to your _key_?"

"It wasn't mine - I left it at your place. Seriously, can I come in?"

"It's gonna be a second." Luke snapped, and hung up on him.

He started yanking furniture away from the doorframe to try and clear a path, and Jenna immediately came over to help him. As soon as he could swing the door open freely, Luke glanced outside and found Marcus standing sheepishly in the hall.

"Hey, did you know one of your neighbor's just got busted downstairs?" Marc asked him.

Luke said nothing. He grabbed Marcus by the jacket and yanked him inside, slamming the door shut behind him. With every ounce of pent up anxiety and rage he possessed, he hurled Marcus into the wall, never once letting go of his collar.

"Where the _heck_ have you been?"

Marcus was shaking so hard he couldn't answer right away. "I...I...I went home and cleaned up, got a...got a few things together, and then I went to the hospital."

"_Why_ did you have to go to the hospital? Dang it Marcus, I came out _looking_ for you!"

"Research. I was studying, reading up on a few things. I've been doing a lot of thinking about Donatello's injury, I had some ideas, I just wanted to get some things down, compare some stuff I had on the computer. I...I lost track of time."

"You lost track of time for over _six hours_?"

"Luke, y'know how it is when you're really focused on something and...and...what's up with your furniture?"

"We didn't know what was _going on _you idiot! I couldn't find you, you didn't answer your phone, and then we get a million cops outside my building? You think that kind of thing just happens every day? What were we _supposed_ to think?"

"Oh my word - I'm sorry! I'm sorry I scared you guys so badly. I wasn't thinking, I should have called you myself. I was truly stupid, I know that. Let me go Luke, please just let me go." He pleaded.

Luke turned him loose with a mighty jerk. "_Calling_ is the least you could have done. Do you have any idea what you put us through tonight?"

Jenna was giving Marcus such a stare down that the man felt like crawling under the couch. He slowly sat down on the couch, and looked up at Luke imploringly.

"Luke I told you, you _know_ you can trust me." He insisted.

"_Do_ I? Do I know that? I thought I could, but then you up and disappeared. You scared us half to _death_!"

"I'm sorry." He repeated again. "Maybe you don't have a good reason to believe that I would be loyal to your friends. But you _have_ to believe I'd be loyal to _you._ Let's just leave everything else out of it for a minute. The last thing I want to do is hurt you Luke. I swear on my life, on whatever else has any real meaning to you, I wouldn't do _anything_ to hurt you! That means I'm not gonna betray _them._ They don't deserve it anyway, what with the junk they put themselves through, for people who could care less. Please...please, you have to believe me."

"It's not that easy Marc." Luke said, finally sounding like he was calming down. "Their family is on the way home, and their Sensei wants to meet you. You think you can stay put that long?"

"Luke, I will do whatever you want."

"Good. Help me drag this stuff back where it goes, so Jenna can get some real sleep."


	16. Escape

As it turned out, a true reunion was going to have to wait a few hours yet. It was well after daybreak by the time the guys had made it back to Manhattan, and they would have been far too exposed to consider climbing around on the fire escape outside April and Luke's building. April ended up taking the others home, and picking up her own car at the same time. Then she raced back to her complex, not even bothering to take things to her own apartment first. She simply made a beeline for Luke's door, and was ecstatic when Jenna answered it. They had their own happy reunion right there in the doorway, and then Jenna pulled her inside.

"It's so good to see you!" April exclaimed. "And you look great."

"You're lying. You can't even imagine the night we had."

"I _heard_ it got a little exciting."

"That's not the word _I_ would use to describe it. C'mon in though, drop your stuff." Jenna said, taking a duffle bag away from her.

"How long are you here for?"

"It kind of depends on a couple of things. My parents are being really nice about it though."

"You sure didn't _pack_ very much."

"I didn't have time, I just threw together the essentials and left."

"How are things between the two of you?" April asked pointedly, not finding it necessary to specify that she was asking about Donatello.

"They're good, I think. For the first time in months, I feel like we're actually going somewhere. He's finally opened up again."

"What about physically, what's going on with him and Raph?"

"I think Raph is asleep, and when I left Donnie a few minutes ago he was doing some kind of research on Luke's laptop. Even when he's bed fast, he still can't stand to be idle."

"Tell me something I _don't _know."

* * *

Luke slept well into the afternoon, waking up slightly when he heard Marcus fiddling with some instrument over by Raphael.

"Sorry." His friend said immediately. "His fluids were getting low again, I was just adjusting it like you showed me."

"It's okay - I should be getting up anyway. Is April around?"

"She's out with Jenna in the living room."

"Have you been properly introduced?"

"Not really - I was sort of hiding out with Donnie and talking to him."

"Talking about what?"

"He's trying to look into sources of natural anesthetics on the internet."

"I should have known." Luke muttered. "God forbid he go two days without working."

Luke got up out of the chair, and motioned for Marcus to come with him out in the living area.

April rose from the couch when she saw Luke coming, and gave him a firm embrace.

"Had a rough couple of days I understand." She lamented.

"You could say that. April, this is Marcus Sloan - he's our local drop-in from the other night."

"W-wait a second, April _O'Neil_?" Marc stuttered. "Is this a joke? Are there cameras around here somewhere?"

"No cameras," She answered smoothly. "No cameras, and no_ witnesses_."

He swallowed sharply. "Yeah, I've gotten that a few times."

She gazed at him for a long few seconds, eyes piercing right through him, and then turned to Luke.

"Are they going to be transportable?" She asked him.

"Yes, and no. We're going to have to be real careful, and getting them down from here is not going to be easy. Neither of them should be on their feet at all, so it will take at least two of us to get them down the fire escape, and we _can't _rush it. Even attempting it at night is going to be a risk, but they sure can't stay _here_ much longer. What if somebody _else_ gets worried about me?" Luke replied, directing the last punchy line at Marcus.

"Well, the guys will be back after the sun is down with the van. Between the four of us, maybe we could figure something out before then?" April suggested.

"Several windows face your fire escape, don't they?" Marcus asked.

"That's the whole problem." Jenna answered. "But if say, the two of you could bring 'em down one at a time, I could go first. Create some kind of diversion if anyone _was_ getting nosey."

"We can't use the elevator or take them out the front way, so we're just going to have to make this work." Luke said evenly.

* * *

The sun had been down for over an hour and a half when Leonardo called Luke to tell him that they were in position.

"Wouldn't it be easier if Mike and I came up there to help you guys with them?" He asked the doctor.

"Ya'll are a lot stronger than we are, but that would at least _double_ the chances of you being seen. No, just stay put, Marcus and I can handle them the distance. I think we're going to bring Raph down first, and then come back for Donnie."

"Alright. Shout if you need us."

"Sure, _that_ wouldn't attract any attention."

"Just want you to know we're here for you."

"Be ready to get Raph from us, okay? We'll be moving in just a couple minutes here." Luke told him, and hung up.

They'd gotten the turtles covered back up under their cloaks, to disguise their features as much as possible. Jenna started down the escape first, staying a full level ahead of the doctors to serve as a look-out, scanning every window she passed by. Raphael kept his mouth shut with an iron grip, refusing to make a sound despite how much the jaunt hurt. One doctor was at his head and the other at his feet, both trying to simultaneously reassure him that they had a good grip on him.

When the agonizing trip was over, his other two brothers were waiting to receive him from them at the bottom.

"Hey knucklehead. How y' doing?" Mike asked good-naturedly.

"Tryin' not to think about it." He answered through gritted teeth, as they took him over to get him safetly into the van.

Luke, Jenna, and Marcus climbed back up the fire escape to go and get started on Donnie. Since they couldn't exactly hold his legs, his journey was going to be quite a bit more difficult. In the end, he had to try and support some of his own weight, since the escape wasn't wide enough for both doctors to get on either side of him.

They were about halfway down, when Jenna hissed at them to stop. The next thing they heard was her talking to some young guy a level beneath him, who'd just stuck his out the window.

"Hi there." She said in an overly friendly tone.

"What, are you making a break for it?" The guy joked.

"You caught me mate, we're sneaking out." She replied coyly.

He opened the window further and started to come out, as the others flattened against the building above them. Staring at her appreciatively, he gave Jenna big grin. "Sounds like fun. Where's the party at?"

"No party tonight," She said quickly, "I just needed a chance to breathe outside those walls. You can be a real guy and not blow my cover, can't you?"

He smiled a little more slyly, and reached out a hand to grasp her by the waist. "What's it _worth_ to you baby?"

With lightning reflexes she snatched his hand, bending it backwards painfully. "How about I let you keep your wrist in one piece, how would _that_ be?" She snarled.

He cursed at her up a storm, but she only smiled and let him go. He darted back into the apartment, slamming the window and the shade shut behind him.

After a few moments had passed, Jenna glanced back up at her friends. "We're clear."

"I think you must have studied self defense at the school of Raphael." Luke remarked as they started moving again.

"Doc, if _you'd_ been where _I've_ been, you wouldn't put up with it either." She answered, and then went back to watching the windows.


	17. Character

When they had gotten Donatello down the rest of the stairs and into the van, Splinter sent Luke and Jenna ahead with the rest of guys to get back underground. Then April let him and Marcus get into her car, where they could be alone for a little while. She ran back to her building after that to get her own things back into her apartment, and left them to do their talking. Master Splinter was an impeccable judge of character - if Marcus wasn't okay, he would know it.

Marcus leaned against the side of the seat, nervously facing Splinter's gaze for the first time. He only held it for a couple seconds before looking straight ahead, and then down at the floor.

"Tell me about yourself." Splinter said evenly.

"Well, I'm...thirty-eight years old, and I've known Luke for a little over ten years. For the last few years I've been practicing mostly out of St. Josephs', I'm in orthopedics."

"Where are you from originally?"

"Maine, I've always been a New Englander. I came to this state after I finished general college, transferred to med school. That's where I met Luke."

"What about family, friends?"

"My parents split up when I was really young, I've got my dad back in Maine, and my Mom's been out in New Mexico for the last several years. No siblings, or cousins, or other really close relatives. What hodge podge is left is mostly out West, same area as my Mom. I have colleagues of course, some friends that I see socially on occasion. But um, I'm on my own for the most part. I'm not too good with balancing work and relationships, so work usually wins out."

"I want you to walk me through the other night," Splinter said slowly, "and I don't want you to leave _anything_ out. Every detail that led up to you ending up in Dr. Barrow's apartment."

Marcus exhaled deeply. "Okay, um...it was kind of a slow night. I was actually getting ready to leave when I saw Luke walk in the door, so I pounced. He's a really hard one to catch up, I never know when he's going to be around, so I take every chance I can get lately. I've been getting on his case to get settled down, accept a real position, a real schedule, instead of filling in with all those nonsense shifts. I seriously thought that he was wasting his time, his talent. I couldn't understand why he was passing on the multiple offers he was receiving, _good_ offers I might add.

I managed to get him into my office, and I was giving him my version of an inspirational speech. He was listening, but I could tell he really didn't want to be there. Then he got a phone call and started to refuse it, until one of the desk girls said it was important, and barely got off part of Raphael's name. Then he was off like a shot, insisting on taking the phone call in another room. I'd already had my suspicions that he was wrapped up in something weird and I just...I wanted to _quit_ worrying and just find out if there was anything to it. He'd absolutely refused to open up to me in years, so I just took matters into my hands.

I used a conference function on my phone to listen in on him. I heard part of the conversation between him and Raphael, he was explaining that he needed help, and then stammering something about a drug deal. I didn't get to hear very much, because then one of the receptionists came back in to tell me_ I _had a phone call of my own. I was just weasling my way off the phone when Luke came back in for his jacket, anxious to leave right away. I chased him down the hall trying to get something, _anything_ out of him. He wouldn't tell me a thing except that he was leaving town, and not to expect to hear from him for a week.

When I went back to my office, I remembered that I still had a key that he copied for me three and half years ago, when I was helping him move some junk into his apartment. I was feeling really desperate at the time. It was obvious that something huge was going on with him, and I was afraid of what that could be. I um...I made this split second decision that I was going to play detective on my own, and try to find out if he was actually in trouble or what.

When he said he was leaving town, I believed him. I waited awhile for good measure, and decided to go have a look around at his place. I drove by the same spot he's had in underground parking for years, it's real close to his building. His car wasn't there, so I went up to the apartment. I didn't see any light from under the door, so I just let myself in. The place sure looked deserted at first, no lights on, no one in sight. I went for a laptop he'd left on the table, hoping I might stumble onto something. I don't even know what I was expecting to find.

Next thing I know, I've got a gun against my head. I didn't even know Luke _owned_ a gun. He seemed even more ticked off when he found out it was me, rightfully so, and he was clearly desperate to get me back out the door. I was trying to get a word in edgewise to explain myself, to get him to talk to me, and then Raphael stumbled out to the living room. He was out of his mind, didn't have a clue what he was doing. He collapsed, and I helped Luke get him back to the bedroom. That's pretty much...pretty much how it all started."

"You caused them much fear last night." Splinter said reproachfully.

"Yeah, I know I did. I was ridiculous, and I'm lucky they didn't outright kill me."

"Dr. Barrows tells me he has good reason to believe you can be_ completely _trusted. The question however is not simply whether you can keep a few secrets, but whether or not this is a burden you are truly _willing_ to carry. Our human friends make many sacrifices that we would never ask or require of them. They do it because they care for us, and to outright refuse them of their help or try and cut them off from our family would hurt them very deeply. This is not something that you can _casually_ venture into. Dr. Barrows tells me that you desire to help Donatello, and that you have certain skills that could vastly improve his chances of a full recovery."

"I _want_ to help him. Luke couldn't do the surgery alone, not even if he knew _how_ to perform the reconstruction. But beyond even that procedure, it really seems like you could use some additional support. And while I may not be as 'available' as Luke is to you, I would still be able to help on sort of a 'back-up' basis.

The night we met, Donatello told me that they fight to help make a difference, a dent into everything that's going wrong in this city. It's all I've been _thinking_ about for two days. I can't do_ that,_ heck, I can't even run a couple of blocks without my inhaler. But this, medical support...this I think I can do, if you'll let me. Whatever that means I need to do, I'll do it."

Splinter did not speak for a few moments, his eyes once more seeming to penetrate into the depths of his soul. Marcus endured it this time without flinching, a determined light shining behind his own dark eyes. Then Splinter suddenly broke the contact and reached for his phone, dialing a number that Marcus couldn't see.

"Yes, April?" He said questioningly. "Could you come back down here please? We're ready to go. Yes, _both_ of us are ready."


	18. Let it Go

Donatello felt stupid for how happy he was to see Mike - his brother had only been gone a couple of days. But what _days_ they had been. There was something so safe in his smile, so reassuring in just being around him. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, except to say that of all his brothers, Mike was the only one who really _got_ him.

Luke was riding up front with Leo, leaving the other three brothers with Jenna in the back of the van. Donatello didn't say much on the way home, he was content to listen to Mike catch up with Jenna. He was being his usual witty self, going on about some story that really made Jenna laugh.

Man, did he love that sound. He would give a lot to be as funny as his brother sometimes.

He was interrupted mid-thought as Jenna suddenly caught his eye, giving him a look that would have made him weak at the knees if he'd been standing. Was there no _end_ to the effect this crazy girl had on him? He silently fingered the medallion he rarely took off, the one Jenna had given to him the first time she left New York. The others had teased him about it a little at first, but he really didn't care. Having it with him made him feel like he still had a piece of her somehow.

"I've got some new stuff that I want you to hear." Jenna was saying to him now, and he snapped to attention.

"Can't wait." He told her. "It's been _long_ enough since I've heard that voice of yours in action."

"How's the Lounge?"

"Still standing I suppose, I haven't actually spent very much time there lately."

"I've missed playing with you."

"Yeah, same here. I just got away from it completely for a little while."

He and Jenna had composed a number of pieces together through the years, sometimes even while they were continents apart. Their lounge had been one of Donatello's favorite places long before Jenna came along. With everything going on as of late, he felt like every ounce of creativity had just dried up. But Jenna changed all that.

Donnie was about to say something else to her, when he noticed Raphael shudder rather violently, the tremor lasting for several seconds. Instantly he tried to sit up further, and called out to him.

"Raph? Hey Raph, are you okay?"

He didn't answer at all, except to shake his head. Mike darted up to check on him, touching his forehead with the back of his hand.

"He's cold, _really_ cold Donnie." He said.

"Shoot. Grab him another blanket, then hurry and tell Doc."

* * *

_"Put to rest  
What you thought of me,  
While I clean this slate  
With the hands of Uncertainty_

_So let Mercy Come  
And Wash Away,_

_What I've Done  
I've faced myself  
To cross out what I've become  
Erase Myself  
And let go of what I've done._

_I start again  
And whatever pain may come  
Today this ends  
I'm Forgiving What I've Done..."_

(Linkin Park, "What I've Done")

* * *

It took some time to get the two injured turtles back home, and by then Raphael's temperature had dropped several more degrees to nearly being hypothermic. Luke swung into action inside Donatello's lab, hurriedly preparing a couple of pieces of equipment for support. Jenna came with him to help assist however she could, while Mike started getting some water hot in the kitchen.

Donatello asked them to leave him on the couch in the Den, and Leonardo was hovering helplessly nearby, as if he wasn't sure what to do with himself.

"Can I get you anything?" He asked when they had been left alone.

"Not right now, I'm fine. I hope Raph will be too." Donatello said as Mike hurried back through the den with some water he'd quickly microwaved for Luke.

On his way back through, Mike gave Leonardo a meaningful look, and his brother nodded ever so slightly.

"I'm gonna take some of this stuff upstairs, start unpacking it. Leo, are you gonna stay down here?" Mike asked him.

"Yeah, yeah of course." He said, nervously biting his lip. He watched Mike run upstairs, and forced himself to breathe in and out slowly a couple of times. "Hey um...can we talk?" He directed at Donatello a little shakily.

"I think we'd better." Donnie said quietly. "But why don't you sit down?"

He pulled a chair closer to the couch, fidgeting for a few seconds. "I...uh...I don't really know how to start this, or what I should really say. I've got all kinds of thoughts jumbled around in my head, but when I go to _talk_, it doesn't come out like I want it to."

"_Relax_ Leo. I'm not gonna bite your head off - just take your time."

He hesitated a moment longer, and then sat up straighter. "I'm _sorry_ I've been avoiding you. The truth is....the truth is that I feel so bad, I can't hardly stand to be around you. And not because of _you_ personally, but because of what I _did_, what I can't ever take back. I thought that time would make things easier, that it might eventually start to feel normal around here again. But it hasn't. All these passing months have done is make me more nervous, more guilty than ever. I'm so afraid..."

"That I'll never be normal again?" Donatello filled in for him. "You can say it. That thought occurs to me all the time, but I've been trying real hard to combat it. For the last few months up until _this _one, I've been trying to stay positive about it. But I just finally got worn out, burned out, whatever you wanna call it. Honestly, I kind of thought that you might be mad at me."

"Mad at _you_? Donnie, why on earth would I be mad at _you_?"

"This is just ridiculous, that's all. If I were _stronger_, maybe it wouldn't be like this, maybe it wouldn't take this much time. And here I am, completely down again for...only God knows how long."

"Donnie, I feel like you're stronger than _any_ of us. Through this whole mess all you've been doing is trying to make things right, trying to make _us_ believe you're alright. You coulda felt sorry for yourself, you could have fallen apart a long time ago. In the end, I was the one who broke you _again_."

"Leo, I just want you _back_. Don't you understand that? I want us to be a family again."

"I don't know how to fix it." Leonardo said morosely. "I've tried thinking of a million different things. Do you know how many times I've considered walking out that door, and just not coming back?"

"That wouldn't solve anything."

"I'm not solving anything _here_ either!" He answered in frustration. "If there was some way that I could make it up to you, I would do it. I would do anything in the entire world to make _you_, us, everybody okay again. I don't know if that's even possible anymore. Sometimes leaving seems like the only thing I _can_ do."

"Leo, there _is_ something you can do." Donatello said slowly. "There _is_ a way you can make it up to me. Are you listening?"

Leonardo finally looked at him for the first time in the last few minutes, tears shining in his eyes, and nodded.

"_Let this go_." Donatello said, pronouncing each word carefully. "We can't get this last year back. There's no way we can change anything that happened. We've both been letting the _past_ control everything that's happening _now_. We can't get anywhere that way. Leo, I'm gonna be real honest with you, okay? I don't know if my knee will ever be perfect again. But regardless of that, regardless of what happens with it, you're a lot more important to me. Don't you get that? I could handle losing function in my body, I can even _live_ without ninjitsu. As much as I miss it, and as tired as I am of the pain and the _stress_, that hasn't been the worst part through all this. I _don't _want to live without my brother anymore."

Leonardo broke down completely at that, coming slowly to Donatello's level when his brother motioned to him. He embraced his injured brother for the first time in months, shaking as sobs wracked through his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Donnie!"

Donatello pushed him at arm's length so he could look him straight in the eye. "I forgave you a long time ago. Now can you please just do me a favor, and forgive _yourself_?"_  
_


	19. Settling In

Luke came out of the Lab a few minutes later, smiling to himself when he saw Donatello and Leonardo so relaxed together. Clearly, they'd done some talking.

"Hey guys." He said a little tiredly.

"Hey, how's Raph?" Leonardo asked instantly.

"He should be okay soon. His whole system is still off kilter right now, and you _know_ how those temperature flucuations can happen." Luke replied to them both.

"Being _cold-blooded _doesn't do us a lot of favors." Donatello remarked, and sat up further as Luke came to join them.

"Not really. I think the best thing for _you_ right now would be to take a load off in the Lab. Something tells me that you, Marcus, and I are going to have _a lot _to talk about."

"So wait, he's coming down here?" Leo interjected.

"Yeah, apparently he's in all the way. Honestly, I think that's a very _good_ thing. Master Splinter and April are on their way with him now, and they should be here before long. You wanna go ahead and get moved?"

"I suppose there's no time like the present." Donnie agreed, and Leonardo quickly rose to help Luke get him up.

They carefully supported him between them into the Lab, to the other bed that had been prepared for him.

Leonardo turned around to Luke to address a further question once they had him settled.

"So, you said this thing with your friend is good?"

"_Very_ good." Luke clarified.

"He's a specialist Leo, the sort that _focuses_ on my kind of problem. Marcus has had a lot of experience with sports injuries and trauma in this exact injury. He's been an unwitting source to Luke on information over the last year, though I'd bet he's put two and two together by now." Donatello explained, and then looked back at Luke. "Can I have my laptop?"

"What for?"

"I think I might have been on to something before. I'm not gonna hurt myself surfing the internet, am I?"

"I just want to make sure that you _rest_."

"Aw, c'mon Doc, you know me."

"That's _exactly_ why I said that."

* * *

Marcus' heart had been beating faster than normal ever since they had led him underground. He found himself fighting against fear, using every ounce of resolve within him to keep putting one foot in front of the other. April could read the anxiety in his eyes, and had a fleeting moment of compassion for the man who had stumbled blindly into their world.

She lightly laid one hand on his shoulder to encourage him to keep going. "It's okay - I know it's a little overwhelming right now. But they really _are _okay."

He glanced back at her over his shoulder and nodded. "Yeah. I believe that, I do."

Marcus tried valiently to calm down, forcing himself to try and breathe more slowly without much success. They had traveled in near darkness for what seemed like forever to him, but was actually only a few minutes. When they ran into what looked like a complete dead end, he nearly had a full on attack, and instantly scrambled for his inhaler.

April pulled him to the side to try and calm him down, while Master Splinter addressed a keypad that had been invisible only moments before.

"Take it easy. If we wanted to hurt you, we wouldn't have dragged you all this way, right? This is it, this is where they live." April told him reassuringly, but it sill took him a minute to pull himself together.

Splinter held out an arm to him and showed him inside, where Jenna was already waiting to meet them.

"Have a nice trip?" She asked with a wide smile, completely unaware of what he'd just been through.

"It was fine." He said, still a little breathless. Then he started to look around, nodding to himself at the surroundings. "This is nice. Cozy." He remarked. "Not what I would picture when I imagined living under this city."

"You haven't seen _anything_ yet." Jenna told him. "Come with me - Luke's waiting for you in the Lab."

"Now when you say 'Lab'..."

"Just c'mon." She finished, and he followed her through the living area towards a room with a large window. When they went inside his eyes were dazzled by the brighter light in the space, and then widened as he tried to take in everything at once. It had been configured as a clean environment, and the sheer amount of technology that met his sight everywhere he looked was mind-blowing. For a few seconds he was so amazed that he couldn't even speak, and even then hardly knew what to say.

"_Holy cow_." Ended up being the only phrase that came to mind.

"Welcome to our world." Donatello called to him from across the room, decisively closing his laptop.

"I _guess_." He said with a tinge of awe, now walking slowly around the room. "How? How could you do all this?"

"A never ending supply of time, aided by a couple of Corporations' big money." He replied simply.

"_What_?"

"Donnie fixes computer glitches, viruses, and bugs for some major businesses. April set it up for him years ago. He operates like a kite, everything's strictly hands off, and he's not tied down to anybody. All communications and services happen through the phone, e-mail, and internet. He's very good at it." Luke explained to Marcus.

"Is there nothing you can't do?" Marcus wondered aloud. "You've figured out everything."

"Not _everything _Marc." Donatello answered. "Not by a long shot. Is it _okay_ if I call you Marc?"

"You already _have_ a 'Doc', so it would probably be less confusing that way." The man agreed with a smile.

Leonardo had been keeping his own vigil with Raphael, but now got up to join Donatello and the two doctors.

"We haven't met," He said, holding out a hand to Marcus. "I'm Leonardo."

"Nice to meet you, I've heard some things about you."

"I can only _imagine_." He said ruefully. "I only hope that you really _can_ help fix my handiwork."

"I'm sorry, your _what_?" Marcus said cluelessly.

"You guys didn't tell him?" Leo asked, looking between Donnie and Luke.

Doc shrugged openly. "There was no reason to."

"Donnie's busted knee was completely my fault, _is_ my fault, I guess I should say." Leo told Marcus.

"Yes, but we're getting past that, _aren't_ we Leonardo?" Donnie said emphatically.

"_Working_ on it." Leo admitted.

"I can tell you that I will do _everything_ in my power to help. Right now I'm really just feeling a little overwhelmed. I didn't know what to expect coming down here. I guess I should have known it would have to be a good set-up, what with the work you guys have done creating your own drugs. I think I'm going to be on a _serious_ learning curve to catch up."

"Thank you for coming. You didn't _have_ to you know." Donatello said quietly.

"No, but I _wanted_ to, and I mean that. The three of us have a lot to do together, but I have _a lot _to learn first. Where does it even start?"

"Same place mine started." Luke told him. "With a wonderful piece of literature that Donnie calls his _journal_."


	20. Calculable Risk

Marcus set to the task of absorbing Donatello's writings, while everyone else was just starting to try and get things back to as normal as possible. April had returned to the surface out of neccessity; when she'd called work to let them know she had returned early, she'd been talking into covering an early shift for the next morning. Jenna was helping Mike put together a decent meal in the kitchen, and Leonardo and Master Splinter were talking elsewhere. That left Luke in the Lab to look after the guys, and answer all the random questions that Marcus kept calling out from the desk.

Donatello had been making furious notes of his own for over an hour, when Luke came over to pick his brain.

"What are you looking at right now?"

"A plant based source for anesthetic." Donatello told him. "I've been reading about something called White Lily, or Nymphaea alba? Apparently the military used it with some success as a substitute during World War I, when the traditional opiate wasn't available. I don't want to go anywhere _near_ opioids, but I really think the white lily holds some possibilities. There are plenty of places where you can order it online - I'm actually going through the process to have some shipped to April. It's going to take some tweaking and experimentation on our end to find out whether we can safetly tolerate it or not, and I'm sure I'll need a lot of your help with that."

"I'm with you. Can I see the notes you've been working on?"

"I don't know that I'm ready for _that_ yet. I've just been doing some calculations mostly, based on some of my own physical history." He closed his laptop suddenly, shutting his eyes for a moment. "There is so much to figure out."

"You look like you want to say something." Luke ventured.

"I _want_ this Doc, I want it badly." Donatello told him. "Having a glimmer of hope that I could return to ninjitsu full time is worth it to me. That said, it still makes me _really_ nervous. Surgery has enough risks on it's own, even when it's done in the best possible environment in a hospital, with an entire team of doctors. There are so many things that can go wrong."

"You don't have to remind me, I've seen more things go wrong than I even care to talk about." Luke said plainly, and then regretted it. "But that's _not_ really what you needed to hear, is it?"

"It _is_ what it _is_ Doc." Donatello told him, repeating their favorite catch phrase they had used incessantly over the last year. "You're not telling me anything that I don't know. I'm just doing a little thinking out loud right now, if you follow me."

"Yeah." Luke answered half-heartedly. "The sooner we can get started analyzing samples for anesthetic, the better."

"That part really worries you, doesn't it?"

"It's not really the drug part, so much as it the literal _dosage_ strength that we're going to have to go in with. Even the sedatives we've already developed have the power to knock you into next week, and that's _not _taken in large quanities."

"Boy, all this positive talk is giving me _loads_ of confidence." Marcus remarked as he came over to join them.

"Sorry Marc." Donatello apologized. "I guess I'm thinking a little too much right now."

"It turns out, I have our solution. You guys want to hear it?" Marcus announced ceremoniously. "_All_ we have to do is lock-down a hospital for a few hours, kick out all the patients and staff. That is unless you think we could could accept a few more medical members?"

"Oh, why not?" Donatello laughed. "If we're going to to _hijack_ a hospital, we should go the distance and get a whole surgical team on board."

"Sure, that way I wouldn't have to do anything at all, I could just watch from a comfortable distance." Luke added.

Marcus grinned at them, glad that they had lightened up a little bit. He came down to Donatello's level so he could look him in the eyes, and went on.

"Seriously...you have _every_ right to be afraid, every right to think this through. You don't know me well yet, so I don't expect you to have all that much _trust_ in me. But you've known Luke long enough, and he's been there enough times, that's it's not so hard with him. I want you to be able to have confidence in us, that we're not going to do anything that we're not _sure_ about. We're not going to act, before we're really prepared. We're definitely not going in haphazardly, or as if we're in a major hurry. I still have a _ton_ of catching up to do, and there's a tremendous amount of planning that needs to take place."

"And you don't _have_ to do this Donnie, don't forget that." Luke reminded him. "This isn't a life-threatening issue, it's just..."

"It's debilitating." Donatello finished for him. "Doc, I _know_ it's dangerous. But the thought of being chained to a disability for the rest of my life, _however_ long that might be, scares me a whole lot more."

* * *

Mike invited the doctors to come out of the Lab a couple of minutes later to get some real food, and then came back himself to bring a tray for Donnie.

"Smells good Mike - I don't think I realized how hungry I was until just now." Donnie remarked.

"Eat up like a good boy then."

"Hey, are you busy right now?" Donnie asked him.

"No, not really. Leo's helping Jenna clean up as we speak. You want me to stick around?"

"Yeah, I do."

Mike pulled up a chair and talked to Donatello while he ate, describing the mountains they'd just been in with as vivid detail as he could imagine.

"It sounds amazing Mike." Donatello said wistfully. "I would have loved to have seen that view."

"It was the pits not having you there Donnie. I enjoyed myself that first day, y'know, _before _I found out about everything at home. But even then, it felt a little empty to me. That's why I didn't wanna go to start with - it's just not the same without you. Nothing has been, not training, patrols...I can't tell you how much I miss you."

Donatello ducked his head for a moment with a short sigh. "Yeah, I miss doing that stuff with you too. But _hopefully_ we're on the right track to me getting back to real mobility."

"You know all that therapy and extra exercises you've been doing, you're probably gonna come out of this thing _tougher_ than any of us. You'll be totally kicking our shells before you know it." Mike said with a wide grin.

"Speak for _yourself_." Raphael called reproachfully from the left of them, and Mike got up to check on him.

"Hey bro, how y' doing? Are you hungry?" Mike asked.

His glazed stare didn't quite focus on him, but at least his coloring was vastly improved from before.

"Nah, but thanks. I'm beat Mikey." He said quietly. "I just wanna sleep for another week..."

His brother helped him to get another drink at least, and then left him alone to go back to sleep. Then he returned to Donnie's side, removing the mostly empty tray off for him.

"Thanks for talking to Leo." Donatello said suddenly.

"Hm?" Mike said, acting as if he hadn't heard him.

"I _know_ you talked to him Mike, and I appreciate it."

Mike shrugged to himself. "I don't feel like I did all that much. How are you two now?"

"I think we're gonna be okay Mike. It's going to take some time, I don't expect everything to be perfect overnight. But we're on the right road at least, and I think that's the most important thing."


	21. Groundwork

The weeks that followed felt like a blur to Donatello. Jenna had quickly returned to Australia to spend some more time with her parents, before she would have to come back for the start of school in the Fall. Marcus had completely enveloped himself into their world, spending almost every single moment outside of work underground. He, Luke, and Donatello had been strategizing on a daily basis, even when he wasn't able to come physically to the Den. Now that Marcus had decided on the best course for the surgery, the planning of it seemed to consume him day and night.

Luke's primary focus was on the equipment. The main monitors and important pieces were already in place due to Donatello's handiwork, but he did have to acquire some smaller instruments that Marcus would need for the arthroscopic surgery. He found himself obsessing over every detail, weekly running tests on machinery to make sure that everything was running optimally.

Once Raphael was healthy enough, he and Donatello began giving blood under Luke's watchful eye, over five day cycles. Luke wasn't willing to take any chances; he wanted to be fully stocked on their identical type well before it was time for surgery.

Meanwhile Donatello had been lost in his own studies, running tests and sequences with his chosen natural source for anesthetic. Some of the simulations he ran frustrated him a great deal, but Luke was there to assist him as well. They had been reconfiguring their own mixture and running tests through the computer for five weeks, when Donatello was fairly certain the drug would be passable.

"I can't say it's going to be perfect on all fronts, but I think we're about as good as we can hope for." Donatello had told Luke quietly.

"No drug is ever _perfect_ Donnie - but I'm still not comfortable with the idea of you being basically a guinea pig on this."

"_Somebody_ has to use it for the first time."

"Remember, you don't have to--"

"I don't have to do it, yeah, you've mentioned that a few times. My mind's made up Doc."

"I know it is."

* * *

Luke had finished briefing Marcus on their own progress over the phone later that night.

"You're confident in it?" Marcus asked.

"We've run it through every possible scenerio the two of us can come up, and the mixture seems to be holding up. I'm expecting it to be a shock to his system, every new drug seems to be, until they've had it a couple of times."

"I keep going through this process in my mind Luke, and I _can't_ escape the feeling that we need another set of hands in there with us."

"I hear you." Luke had said softly. "There's a real risk of the two of us being spread a little too thin."

"Aside from bringing someone else on board..."

"Yeah, that's _not_ gonna happen." Luke interjected.

"Our other option would be to pull someone else from inside the clan. Thoughts?"

"Master Splinter is the only _real_ option that we have." Luke said slowly.

"Are you sure he would be okay in there?"

"If he _has_ to be, yes, he can do it. Anyway, he'd sure hold up better than anyone else, _and_ he actually already approached me about it."

"If you're sure, that's all I need to hear. What's our timeline look like?"

"His swelling has gone almost completely down, so we're good on that front. Our blood supply is almost there. I've been on the equipment every day, it's functioning properly, plus I've got _your_ toys ready as well. Now that we've reached a certain place with our anesthetic, it seems like we're just about ready. There's really only one more thing I think we ought wait on."

"Jenna?" Marcus asked knowingly.

"She'll be flying in within the next week and a half. I think having her here would bolster Donnie quite a bit, and I _know_ she's appreciate it too."

"That sounds like a decent time table actually. It will give us a chance to go through this step by step with Donatello, and we can get ourselves coordinated on all fronts."

"The rest of the guys are going to want to hear the details too."

"I guess we should have a meeting. You wanna talk to them, find out a good time?"

"They're pretty flexible Marc."

"I keep forgetting that."

* * *

You could have cut the tension in the air with a knife the next morning, when Luke and Marcus sat down to talk to everybody at once in the living room.

"I'm going to try hard not to make this complicated, but I give you no guarantees." Marcus started off. "I'm going to be taking lead on the ACL reconstruction. I'll be using an anthroscopic technique which is actually a lot less invasive, that just means I'm not going to have to cut him as much as you would through an open surgery. This one basically involves only having to make two small incisions. There are a couple of phases to the procedure, the first one involving taking a graft of the bone from his actual injured knee. Once I have the graft, I'll thread it through the ligaments to get things reconnected, and he'll have some screws to help hold it in place. I want to take the chance to trim damaged cartilage while I'm in there, and that would be the last thing that I address.

I'm still not the biggest expert on your bodies, so in addition to assisting me with the surgery, Luke's going to be gauging everything while we go along. If we hit an issue, _he's_ in charge. I understand that Master Splinter will be on deck to assist us as well with instruments, blood, that sort of thing, so that we never have to leave Donatello's side once we get started. Does anybody have any questions?"

"Yeah, I do." Raph piped up. "What's the deal with the anesthetic? I've heard ya'll say it's stronger than anything you've used before. Is it really safe?"

"Maybe I should answer that." Donatello said. "I've been trying to get myself accustomed to it, using it in very small doses over the past couple of nights. The base of it is completely natural, though of course Doc and I had to tweak it."

"How long's it gonna put you out?" Mike asked him.

"I don't know." Donnie said honestly. "That's really hard to predict. But our tests have confirmed it doesn't have a high probability of interfering with the vital systems and organs in our bodies."

"But it could still go wrong." Leonardo said quietly.

"We're not going to lie to you, try to say that this is going to be a walk in the park. It's not." Luke replied to him. "It's major surgery. But we've prepared, we have the tools that we need, and Marcus has the skills that are necessary."

"I'm ready guys." Donatello said firmly. "I almost wish it was tonight, just so it could be over with. The longer it's put off, the more I have to think about it. So we're gonna wait on Jenna to get here, and set a tentative date."

"I'm taking a vacation from the hospital so that I can stay as long as I might need to." Marcus volunteered. "Luke and I will be here around the clock, with him every step of the way."


	22. Your Hands

Over the next week the doctors kept a constant vigil on Donatello's vitals, checking every day to make sure that he was completely healthy and ready to go in for it. When "D-Day" came, it was as if all of the air in the Den had been collectively sucked in at once, as everyone seemed to be holding their breath for what was coming. While Luke, Marcus, and Master Splinter went through some pre-operation checks, Donatello took a little time to talk to his brothers and April. They finally left him alone with Jenna, who'd only gotten in the night before.

She seemed to be mulling over the right thing to say, as Donatello invited her up onto the bed with him for a few moments. She took his hand, lightly lacing her fingers around his.

"Are you scared?" She whispered finally.

"I'd be an idiot not to be." He said honestly. "But I'm glad you're here."

"I'm no help - I'm probably more scared than _you_ are!"

"Just pray for me Jen, okay? In the end, that's what _really_ matters. We do what we can, and the rest is in God's hands, right?"

"Right." She said more confidently than she felt, and turned on her side to face him. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now think _positively_ - don't sit out there worrying for the next three hours."

"I'll try."

* * *

She left shortly after, and Splinter moved to cover the window that overlooked the Den, so the doctors wouldn't feel the pressure of the eyes waiting right outside.

"How's it look Doc?" Donnie asked as Luke took his vitals one last time before moving into the preliminaries.

"You look good Don, everything is stable, and we've done all that we can to lead up to it. Now we just have to do it."

"Fire away." Donatello told him, holding out an offered arm.

Luke swallowed back an inward shudder as he fingered the bagged up solution of anesthetic, and searched for a good vein. They'd chosen a liquid base for the drug, just as they had used for almost every single other solution they had reconfigured. In this case the anesthetic's initial heavy dose was necessary to _put_ him out completely, and a lighter follow-up through the IV during the entire surgery was meant to _keep_ him out.

Splinter closed his eyes as Luke began to administer the drug, focusing deeply to enter into a calm place. When he opened them, he found both doctors looking at him expectantly, and reached to take one of each of their hands, and prayed.

"God Almighty - bless these doctors hands, guard them, guide them, so that they do not slip or hesitate. His life is now in _Your_ Hands."

* * *

Marcus gave his full attention to the matter at hand, adjusting the video monitor for better viewing while he was using the arthoscope. He made his first incision, and inserted the scope into the joint to begin the first careful phase of the procedure. Luke was close by to assist him and help watch the video, while also keeping tabs on the monitors displaying Donatello's life signs.

Splinter did his best to merely stay silent and stand out of the way, unless he was specifically asked to aquire something for them. He was focusing every portion of his free mind to prayer and to hope.

Marcus moved smoothly through the first phase of the surgery, which involved taking the graft he would use to repair the rest of his knee. As he was seamlessly moving into the second phase of the procedure, Luke had noticed a slight dip in Donatello's blood pressure. It was nothing dramatic, but it was still unsettling, so he mentioned it to Marcus.

"It's not at a dangerous level is it?" Marc asked.

"No, not really, but I still don't like it."

"Do you want me to abort, pull out everything now?" Marcus asked seriously, as Luke looked at the screen more closely.

"No. No, you're far enough in now, it really needs to be finished. You'd just have to go _back_ in later. It isn't serious, I'm just going to keep an eye on it, and you keep going."

They were on schedule as far as the phases were concerned. Marcus' hands remained steady as finished the delicate process of re-threading the ligaments, and moved onto the third phase that involved repair to cartilage. Luke was watching the monitiors displaying Donnie's information now, more than he watched the video that displayed Marcus' progress. He was getting slightly more nervous as the minutes passed, checking the flow of both IV's, and replenishing some fluids with Splinter's help.

Marcus was finished with the cartilage, and just beginning to move in on closing the incisions, when a rapid pulsing sound startled all three of them, and Luke bolted to one of the monitors Donatello was hooked up to. He hardly needed the read-out to tell him that there was something wrong - the problem was rapidly very clear.

"His oxygen levels are going critical." Luke said quickly, "Master Splinter, I need--"

Before he could finish the thought, Splinter had already seized the Oxi, and was bringing it over to him.

"Luke do you need me to--" Marcus started, and the doctor quickly cut him off.

"Just close him up Marcus, I'll get a handle on this."

He obediently started to stitch up the incisions, while Luke set up the Oxi to deliver an increased oxygen flow to his lungs. It only took a couple of minutes to realize that his levels weren't improving in the slightest, and his blood pressure had started to plummet. Without further warning of any kind, the monitoring machine set off another alarm.

"He's going into full on respiratory arrest Marcus, the Oxi's not helping one bit!" Luke barked out to his friend. "Drop what you're doing, we have to ventilate him _right now_!"

Marcus yanked the machine back over to the table and he and Luke worked together quickly to get it properly set up through his airway.

Luke's heart was racing so fast he felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. It took all the determination he had within him not to lose it at that point, as he tried valiantly to push emotion aside.

"Luke, his pulse is dropping, his heart is--" Marcus started to say,

"It's going to work - it has to!" Luke interrupted him, and then held his own breath as they waited to see what would happen. "Please God, it _has_ to work." He said under his breath. "C'mon Donnie. _C'mon_!"

With the support from the machine, his chest _did_ shudder and rise a few moments later, and the doctors watched very carefully for the following minutes to make sure oxygen was actually making it through his body.

"His pulse is leveling out." Marcus said weakly. "Blood pressure is still low."

"_Finish it_." Luke said through clenched teeth, and he hurriedly went back to close the incisions the rest of the way.

Luke took another deep breath while Marcus finished up, and called Splinter to his side. "Okay, I need to take a few scans of his lungs, heart, and his brain. Will you get the main computer booted back up for me, and have some noraphim ready just in case he's going into shock?"

"Do you think that caused this?" Splinter asked, quivering whiskers the only thing giving away his own anxiety.

"I don't know yet - but you can be sure I'm going to find out."

"Are you going to be completely honest with me?"

"Yes Master Splinter, as soon as I know a single thing."

He moved to do as Luke had asked, and stayed quietly nearby while the doctor studied the scans on the main screen. Marcus had finally managed to finish closing incisions, and glanced over at Luke nervously.

"What is it? Are you picking up any signs of trauma?" He called to him.

"I don't see anything unusual with his lungs, or his heart." Luke said. "But there is significant decreased brain activity. The synapses are hardly firing at all."

"What does that mean Doctor?" Splinter asked him immediately.

"It's something we see very often in the case of a coma, a _very_ deep level of unawareness in this case." Luke explained.

"Is this related to his breathing?" Splinter ventured.

"I think this _caused_ his respiratory failure. The arrest was so acute, that without some kind of traumatic injury, nothing else can really attest to it."

"You must explain this to me as clearly as you are able." Master Splinter said quietly.

"There are different classifications of a coma, different levels of awareness, and activity. If the coma progresses deep enough, the body won't function within its' normal rhythm anymore. The automatic reflex actions that we perform all the time without thinking or trying, don't operate the way that they're supposed to. Judging by the level of his brain activity, or_ lack thereof_, that's what happened here. He's so far under right now that his respiratory system won't act under reflex - he needs the manual help to breathe."

Marcus was stoicly studying the monitors for himself, and his silence caused Splinter to push Luke a little further.

"Are you telling me that this machine is the only thing keeping him alive?"

"For now, that's exactly what I'm saying."


	23. Waiting

The surgery was finished, but the tension was far from over. Luke and Marcus conversed quietly among themselves for a minute, while Splinter sat silently beside Donatello.

"You just stay here and keep an eye on the monitors. I'll go talk to the guys." Luke was telling Marcus.

"Luke, I feel responsible..."

"Marc, you did your job, okay? This isn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong." Luke told him, stopping when his voice broke momentarily. "It's not _your _fault."

"I shouldn't have pushed for this, if I hadn't stuck my nose where it didn't belong--"

"Marc stop, stop it. This_ isn't _over." Luke told him, and paused to compose himself. "They have to be suspecting something by now, I need to go talk to them."

"I _could_ do it Luke."

"Just _do _what I say Marcus." Luke ordered, and glanced over at Splinter. "I'm going to go explain this to the others. You can stay with Donnie if you want, or come with me, your choice." He said much more softly.

Splinter rose. "They are my sons. I need to be there for _all_ of them."

* * *

There was a scuffle of movement as Luke opened the door to the living room, and everyone outside seemed to dart upright in one swift motion.

"Can everybody sit back down?" Luke asked evenly, trying desperately not to reveal any trace of his real emotions. He couldn't let them see his own fear or anxiety, or they would have no reason to keep it together themselves.

"_Talk_ to us Doc." Raph piped up first. "What's goin' on?"

"The procedure is complete." Luke told them. "Marcus performed the graft exactly as he proposed, and it really looks like the ligaments have a good chance of standing. I wish I could just stop there, but it's not that simple. During the course of the surgery his blood pressure started dropping. It was extremely gradual at first, no cause for alarm. I told Marcus to keep going, and kept a close eye on it. He was nearly finished with everything when Donatello had an onset of acute respiratory failure, and his oxygen levels completely bottomed out. When the Oxi failed to produce any results, we immediately got him hooked up to a ventilator."

"That's the machine that breathes _for_ you?" Jenna cut in.

"Yes, it does. It also _worked_, is working, I should say. The surgery is done to the best of our ability, but..." Luke hesitated as he sat down on the coffee table, pausing to steady himself. "He's lapsed into a very deep coma, most likely caused by the dosage of the anesthetic."

"Is that like what happens when we're under normal sedatives?" Leonardo asked.

"It's quite a bit heavier than that actually." Luke admitted. "As I explained to your Sensei, there are different levels of unawareness as far as comas are concerned. The one Donnie is under right now is so deep that it causes the body's normal reflexive actions to start failing. We believe that was why he stopped breathing to begin with."

"Can you fix it?" Mike cut to the chase.

"Marcus and I are doing everything we can to keep him from going into shock. He's on life support, we're watching his brain activity, his heart function. All we can do for right now is try and treat the symptoms. I'm going to get him started back on Niacin to see if it will help to flush out his system. If the dosage is really what caused it, then maybe purging it is part of the solution. Besides that, we're just kind of in a holding pattern here. We don't have the ability to bring him _out_ of this coma, he's going to have to do that part on his own. But that doesn't mean we're giving up."

"This is bad." Mike whispered. "This is really, _really_ bad, isn't it?"

"Michelangelo." Splinter said his son's name with soft compassion. "We have to put our trust in God, where it belongs. We are a family, and we _will_ hold together. All of us."

* * *

Jenna had laid awake for three hours in the guest room. She tossed and turned, unable to stay still for more than a couple of minutes at a time. She could have stayed with the others; she could bet _they_ weren't sleeping now either. She felt a little guilty for leaving them, it was_ their _brother in trouble now, and she should have been able to support them, the same way they'd always been there for her. But it was so hard to keep a strong face, so hard not to break down in front of them, and they didn't need to see that. So as selfish as it made her feel, she'd retreated into her own corner of anxiety, and had been successfully staring into darkness for hours now.

Throughout that period she had glanced at her phone time and time again, considering calling her Mom. In her heart she knew that there was nothing Victoria could do, but the urge to simply hear her voice had gotten very strong. It was around 2am in New York, that would make it afternoon in Australia, and reaching her wouldn't be difficult. With no more hesitation she picked up her phone and made the call.

"Mom?" She said tightly when Victoria answered.

"Hey babe. How are things going?"

"Not so good Mom, not good at all."

"Honey, what's wrong? Tell me."

"Donnie went in for that surgery I was telling you about. They managed to fix his knee, but something else is wrong." She finished, voice breaking with emotion. Victoria waited patiently for her to be able to continue.

"He's in a coma, the Docs' think it was the dosage of the anestheic. Mom, he's on life support, he can't even breathe by himself!" Jenna dissolved into quiet sobbing, unable to speak for a few minutes while Victoria strained for the right thing to say.

"Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But he isn't gone though, right? They haven't written him off?"

"No, but there's nothing they can really _do _about it either! They're trying to support his organs, but it doesn't solve this. They said all that we can do is _wait_." She finished with serious difficulty. "And I _left_ his brothers, I just couldn't stand to be there. I don't know what to do."

"I'm going to make some phone calls when it gets later in the day over there Jen, I know that classes are supposed to be starting up in three days. I don't want you to even think about that right now though, even if you have to write off this quarter entirely, it's not the end of the world. Is there anything else I can do for you? You know I'd be there in a heartbeat if you'd let me."

"No Mom, I don't have that choice. I just need you to talk me through this, get me off the ledge."

"Close your eyes for me babe, and try to breathe in deeply, in an out several times. Are you doing it?"

"Uh huh."

"All the worry, anxiety, and stress in the world won't help _him_, and it won't help _you_. So with every breath you take, just focus on calm, focus on hope. Keep repeating it over and over again in your head, and don't let any other thoughts interfere with it. I will stay with you, I will _be_ with you until you fall asleep."


	24. Dawn

_"For His anger lasts only a moment, _

_but His favor lasts for a lifetime. _

_Weeping may remain for a night, _

_but rejoicing comes with the morning."_

_(Psalm 30:5)_

_

* * *

_

The waiting took it's own toll on everyone differently, and over the course of the six days, it seemed that nearly all traces of life had ground to a halt in the Den. Luke and Marcus had traded off ten hour shifts, keeping a close monitor on Donatello's vital signs. That left a scant four hour window that Splinter insisted on filling himself, and the others would gradually come and go to see Donatello through the course of the days.

Raphael almost never said a word - his part was just a silent vigil. His big mouth had gotten him into trouble enough times, it seemed ironic that now he had nothing to say at all. As scared as he was, Mike had managed the most hopeful persona of all of them, and certainly spent more time _talking _to Donatello than anyone else did.

For his part Leonardo was dealing with a rollarcoaster of emotions unlike anything he'd ever gone through before. On the one hand, he was trying to stay steady and positive to help the others. But on the flip side, he felt so guilty that there were times when he could barely manage to put one foot in front of the other. He couldn't talk to Donnie very much either - mostly he directed every bit of pleading, badgering, and cajoling towards God.

_He had to pull through. He had to._

_

* * *

_

Luke was just coming off of his shift on the seventh night around 11pm, the weight of the world seeming to bear down so hard on his shoulders that he barely raised his head to acknowledge Splinter when he came into the room. Luke was supposed to be trying to get some rest now. He went to the bathroom upstairs and changed, grabbing another fleece blanket from the hall against the colder night. He like to stay close to the Lab even in his off hours, so everyone had quickly learned to retreat upstairs so he would try to catch a few winks in the living room.

As he started for the stairs, Marcus suddenly popped out of a room.

"Hey - I _thought_ I heard you." Marc said.

"Aren't you supposed to be asleep?"

"Yeah, that'd be _nice_. But since we're both awake..."

"C'mon." Luke said wearily, motioning for him to follow him downstairs.

"Has there been any change at all?" Marcus asked.

"No. That would have been the _first_ thing I told you."

"Luke, you don't look so good." Marcus said frankly.

"How _should_ I look Marc? We're professionals. We know the probabilites, the statistics."

"I _know_ you're blaming yourself for this, and that isn't fair. Your judgement to keep going had absolutely no bearing on his condition. Whether I'd finished that surgery or not, he was already in way too deep."

"If I'd seen it, if I would have understood what was happening, I could have counter-acted it sooner, I could have--"

"Luke, you said we're professionals. You also said yourself that he wasn't displaying true signs of complications, besides a slight drop in pressure. _I _couldn't see it, _you_ couldn't see it. It happened Luke, but that doesn't make it your fault."

"It _shouldn't _have happened."

* * *

Splinter had been spending most of his own time with Donatello in audible prayer, and his own version of silent encouragement. He had been sitting with Donnie for a little over an hour and a half, and was now talking calmly as if he could hear him.

"...and Doctor Sloan said that the recovery for this procedure is specifially designed for athletes, that in a matter of weeks and then months, you could be so close to your old self again. I know you have that strength in you Donatello, you've never quit _anything_. There was never a problem that frustrated you too much, or a technique you wouldn't put in the effort to master. You've always just taken your time, and refused to stop when you hit roadblocks. And I believe you're still in there somewhere now. You're going to push your way through this like you always have, and I will be waiting _right_ here until you do."

He gripped Donatello's hand with firm pressure following the statement, bowing his head for a moment. When Donatello's fingers closed on his, he could have actually hit the ceiling. It wasn't a tremendous sign, but it was a real grip nonetheless. Leaping to his feet, Splinter never once let go of him, lightly patting him with his free hand.

"Donatello? Donatello, are you there?"

He made a muffled sound behind the ventiator that sounded something like a groan, but didn't open his eyes. His chest quivered through his own effort outside of the machine's rhythm, and Splinter had seen enough. He dashed as quickly as his hobble would allow, throwing open the Lab's door to see both doctors sitting in the living room. Taking a deep breath, he leaned against the doorway for support and called to the two men.

"Come quickly!"

Inside he swiftly told them what had happened, and waited with baited breath while they swung into two separate directions. Marcus began trying to manually test for his awareness levels, while Luke addressed the ventilator with a grim sigh. He turned it off completely, and then watched the monitor like a hawk to gauge Donnie's reaction. After a few seconds had passed he laughed out loud, a sound both startling and relieving at the same time.

"He's breathing on his own. _He's breathing on his own_!" He exclaimed.

They left the monitoring equipment in place, but removed the dreaded ventilator off to the side. Neither doctor was leaving him now, eagerly awaiting for more signs of his returning awareness. Close to 5am, Luke had noticed a visible change as Donatello's breathing deepened, and he made another quiet sound as if he was coming around.

"Donnie?" Luke asked quietly. "Do you hear me?"

To his elation, Donatello responded by opening his eyes, blinking several times before he could focus on the doctor at all. He made a strangled sound as if trying to say something, but Luke instantly tried to stay him.

"It's okay Donnie, don't try to talk. Do you understand what I'm saying to you? Blink twice for me if you do."

Two rapid blinks in succession excited him even more.

"Good, now slowly, I want you to try and move your arms, your hands, and your fingers. Can you do that for me?"

He lifted his left arm obediently, as if it weighed a thousand pounds, and carefully wriggled his hand and fingers. He repeated the action with his right arm, successfully moving everything.

"Good, that's really good Donnie." Luke told him, now moving to his lower half. He began probing his left leg and calf, testing for his reflexes.

"Can you feel me down here Donnie?"

Two more blinks.

"Do you know where you are?"

His gaze faltered from Luke, and roved over the room slowly.

Two more blinks.

"Do you remember everything leading up to the surgery?" Luke asked.

Two more blinks followed again, a little more slowly, as if he had some hesitation.

"Marcus did a super job with you Donnie." Luke said as he stretched his left leg out to it's full extent, and moved onto to carefully probe the reconstructed right one. "You've got your knee back, though you still have a lot of recovery ahead of you."

* * *

He phased in and out over the next several hours, more function and awareness returning over the course of the morning into the afternoon. When he'd come around again around 4:30pm, Luke caught him staring vapidly at Jenna's medallion, still lying on a tray where it had been taken off before surgery. So intense was his stare that Luke picked it up, and brought it over to him. When Donatello's gaze bore into _him_, he suddenly got the message.

"You want your girl Donnie?"

Two rapid blinks.

Luke ducked out of the room immediately, and called Jenna to come over to him. He took her aside for a moment before sending her in.

"I'm sorry we've been keeping ya'll out of it up until now. Truth is, he's still basically coming around. Waking up from a coma isn't usually like what you see in the movies, happening all suddenly. It's a lot more gradual, and it can take some time. But his awareness has been steadily improving."

"He's still not talking though?"

"Not yet, but he was _sure_ able to let me know that he wanted to see you. You stay calm with him, and _try_ not to excite him, okay?"

She walked into the room slowly, to find him propped up in his bed, fingering the silver medallion she'd given him years ago. His eyes widened when he saw her, a smile just struggling to break on his features.

"Hi." She said softly, trying to stem the rising emotion. "They said you'd come 'round. It's _about_ time y'know."

She bent down to his level as he tried to reach for her, and couldn't hold back tears when he lightly carassed her cheek. Without further invitation, she kissed him deeper than she ever had before, all of her pent-up desperation and passion igniting in less than a second. When she pulled away his eyes were wider still, and he reached to hold onto her arm.

"_Wow_." He managed to say, and Jenna actually laughed out loud as Luke came running over.

"Donnie, can you say something else, _anything_?" He urged.

Donatello's gaze shift to Luke, and then back to Jenna. "Depends." He answered haggardly. "Can you do that _again_?"

"As many times as you want, for the rest of your life Donnie!" She said excitedly as Luke shook his head at her.

"I told you _not _to excite him."


	25. Awake & Dreaming

Donatello felt more ragged than he ever had before, at least in _conscious_ rememberance. At least his _head_ was back on the level.

He'd seen the rest of the clan one by one throughout the rest of the day, too tired to say very much, but it didn't seem to bother anyone. Now and again in quiet moments he would glance down the mattress at his right knee with a twinge of unrest, still simply praying he would be able to come back completely. The tenth time he caught himself doing it, he abrubtly jerked his head upright, immediately wincing at the pain it caused.

_That was a brilliant move, _he thought bitterly. _Now quit thinking about it. You've got everything you need here and more. No sense worrying over what might or might not happen._

He closed his eyes, focused on peaceful thoughts, and went back to sleep.

* * *

Donatello was out for a couple hours longer that time, and when he did start coming around again, the first thing he was aware of was the sound of tapping keys. Someone on the computer. He rolled his neck painfully to look toward the sound, and saw Luke's back from across the room.

"Hey." He called, effectively startling the man. "You better be gentle with Gertie, she's been tempermental lately."

Luke rose halfway with a grin, and then rolled the desk chair all the way over to him.

"Have you seriously named _all_ your computers?"

"C'mon Doc, tell me you didn't name your first _car_."

"Mmm...yes, that would be Rhonda."

"I bet she was your baby, and those machines are mine." Donatello told him with a tired smile. "What are you up to?"

"Just transferring some notes, getting some information ready to be integrated into your journal." Luke replied, as he glanced up at his IV drip. "You're getting close to needing a new one, and since you're awake anyway, I guess there's no time like the present."

He went to retrieve more of the needed formula, and when he came back found that Donatello was staring at him thoughtfully.

"I _know_ that look. Just spit it out." Luke told him.

"It feels like I've been to Hell and back Doc."

"That's probably an accurate description." Luke admitted.

"It _was _the anesthetic wasn't it? I suppose it needs a little more work."

"You _think_?"

"Either that or it just needs to be scrapped, it's all the same to me."

"Nah, I don't think we need to scrap it Donnie. In hindsight, I don't think a liquid base was the way to go with it after all. It wasn't the drug itself that messed you up - I think it was the method we gave it to you in. Maybe if we convert into a gas form, the way that a _regular_ anesthetic is administered, it would produce a more tolerant result."

"Good luck finding a guinea pig." Donatello said tongue in cheek.

Luke dropped his gaze for a moment, the guilty look in his eyes immediately registering with Donnie.

"Ah _no_ Doc, I didn't mean it like that. _Shoot, _you've been blaming yourself for this all week, haven't you?" Donatello said remorsefully.

"I was supposed to--"

"Don't say it Doc. We were in on this _together_, remember? We agreed it seemed to have a low chance of interfering with the nervous system and other organs. But you know me and my issues, if something _can_ go wrong, it seems like it _will_."

"Maybe that's true, but I don't know. Do you have any idea what you came back from Donatello? The chances of emerging out of what was basically a vegetative state without _any_ kind of brain damage, the odds were truly stacked against you. I knew how slim your chances were...and I really wasn't sure how I was going to live with myself for it. It was all I could do, just to keep it together in front of the others."

"Doc, how many times did you tell me I didn't have to do it?"

"Several." He said softly.

"_You're_ the one who kept me going when it all went to pieces, and _you're _the only reason I even had the option of coming back. Quit being hard on yourself - you totally saved my life_ again_."

* * *

He fell back asleep a few minutes later, and didn't stir again until late morning. Leonardo brought him some hot tea in the Lab, and then helped him sit up properly to drink it. He sat down beside him while Donatello sipped it slowly, enjoying the steaming warmth coming off of it.

"How are you feeling today?" Leo asked him.

"More _awake_, that's for sure. Man, that was some trip."

"Do you remember any of it?"

"You mean did a see a big bright light? No. I don't remember anything, not until I was just barely starting to wake up. I'm sorry I put you guys through all that."

"It was _rough_ Donnie, but you shouldn't be apologizing for it. You can't imagine the amount of things that went through my head." Leonardo paused for a long moment. "All the things that I still feel like I need to say to you."

"Leo...you don't need to--"

"Don't stop me Donnie, please? If I don't say it, I don't know if I _can_ let it go."

"Alright, alright Leo...go on if ya really need to."

He hesitated for an instant, and then plunged ahead. "Whenever that day runs through my head, do you know what still bothers me the most about it?"

Donatello shrugged wordlessly.

"You _barely_ fought back." He said simply. "You could have really given me a run for my money, I _know_ you could have hurt me. But you didn't even try to."

"I was sort of in _shock_ Leo."

"But you wouldn't have been too _shocked_ to kick Raph's shell for going after Mikey."

"If I could have gotten to him, he would've been _really_ sorry." Donnie said a little intensely at the memory, and then softened with a short sigh. "So are we okay Leo, or what?"

"Nearly Donnie, I think I'm nearly there. I'm sorry for doing this right now, it's just been weighing on me like a million pounds."

"I'm here Leo, and I'm not going anywhere. Can we talk about something else now?"

"Sure." He replied with a hint of a smile. "I heard you got quite a kiss yesterday."

"Something _else_ Leo!"

* * *

_The lone pair of flashing lights had reproduced more quickly than Donatello could even have anticipated._

_"Donnie, would you quit lookin' back there? You're making me more nervous than I already am!" Raphael barked at him from the wheel._

_"Raph, I'm thinking that we might need to do something drastic."_

_His brother glanced into the rear view mirror, a low growl pulsating in his throat at the sight of the parade of police cars behind them._

_"What do you want me to do Donnie? It's not like we can make this thing disappear into thin air!" He demanded of his brother._

_"If worst comes to worst, we'll just have to waste the van."_

_"You want me to crash it?"_

_"Yeah Raph, I want you to __crash__ the van with us in it. Does that sound like a good idea to you?"_

_"What the heck are y' going on about then?"_

_"Here Raph, turn here, we've got to get closer to the harbor!"_

_"Why, are we gonna sink it?"_

_"No bro, they could dredge the thing, it still leaves too much evidence behind!"_

_"Donnie, I swear if you don't start talkin--What are you doing __now__?" Raph interrupted himself as Donatello unbuckled from his seat belt, and yanked open a hidden compartment under the dash._

_"Once we get closer to the water, I'll set the timer." Donnie said, more to himself than his brother._

_"Timer? What've you got a timer under the dashboard for?"_

_"Just in case I need to bake cookies!" Donnie replied under duress, and barely moved in time to duck his brother's flying backhand._

_Raphael nearly lost control of the van for it, and swiftly clamped both hands back down to come out of the swerve._

_"Darn it Raph, I said __don't_ _crash the van!"_

_"I'm gonna crash __you__ all up and down this pier if you don't tell me what you're doing!"_

_"The van has a built in fail-safe, I installed a timer to give us a better chance to escape in one piece!"_

_"Fail safe? Are you talking about __explosives__?"_

_Donatello nodded meekly under his brother's fiery glare, and Raphael slammed both hands against the wheel angrily. _

_"You rigged this thing to self destruct, and you never __told __me!?"_

_"It's in the manual Raph - remember I __told__ you to read the manual?"_

_"You tricked me! That thing's over 200 pages long, you __knew__ I'd never read it!"_

_"You can't say I didn't give you the chance!"_

_"Dagone it Donnie, if we live through this __I'm gonna kill you__!"_

* * *

A firm hand on his shoulder woke Donatello up, at what he felt was a most appropriate moment. He blinked rapidly, and focused on someone standing over him. Raphael.

"Donnie, y' okay?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." He said, releasing a shaky breath. "What's going on?"

"I'm sorry I woke you up - but _whatever_ that was didn't look like fun."

"What? Oh no, you did me a _favor_. How long have you been here?"

"I was in the neighborhood, just thought I'd stop in."

Donatello laughed weakly, and then grunted with effort as he sat up slightly on one arm.

"I'm glad you're here actually. I think there's something I should tell you about the van." Donatello ventured.

"Seriously? You've been out of it for a week, and you wanna talk about the van?"

"Well if I don't tell you _now_, you'll probably kick my shell for it _later_..."


	26. Observations

_Six Months Later_

* * *

Donatello grunted with extertion as he pulled himself up over the bar again, muscles burning with the effort.

"You're doin' great Donnie, just three more!" Leonardo encouraged from the floor where he was spotting him.

"Make it six!" He yelled back, and Leo shook his head.

"Your call bro, but I'll count 'em down for you." His brother told him, running down the numbers as Donnie went into overtime. "Okay, now give it a rest, will you?"

He slowly lowered himself to the floor, breathing heavily from the exercise. Donnie raked a hand across his forehead to stop sweat from getting into his eyes, and grinned as Leonardo pressed a water bottle into his other hand. He flopped down on the mat, downing half the bottle without stopping.

"Dang, that was good Donnie. You're looking better than ever, do you know that?"

He didn't reply right away - he was still catching his breath, and he'd suddenly noticed that Raphael was aimlessly milling around the other end of the room. _What is he doing?_

Then he looked back up at Leonardo with another grin. "It helps to have the right motivation."

"No kidding, I'd like to siphon some of that right off of you."

"Please Leo, you've got enough _drive _for all of us. Thanks for working with me again - _nobody_ will let me push it as hard as you will."

"Anytime." Leonardo said pointedly, and joined him on the mat as Donatello stretched out to his fullest extent. "How's the knee feeling?"

Donatello breathed out slowly as he released the tension in his calves. "It's good, it really is. You have no idea how great this feels." He emphasized as he braced his shoulders against the floor next. "There really is such a thing as _good_ pain."

"We'd better watch your dose of _good_ pain, or it might turn into the _bad_ kind. Maybe I _have_ been letting you go too far."

"Bro, when are you going to stop worrying about me?"

"Never, and that's a fact. It's also a fact that I'm starving. You wanna get something to eat?"

Donatello cast a furtive glance back over at Raphael, half-heartedly straightening some arm weights on a rack.

"Nah, I think I'm gonna cool down a bit more. You go ahead, I'll be out in a few." He told him.

Leonardo offered his fist, and Donatello obligingly bumped it.

"Same time tomorrow?" He asked.

"You bet." Donatello replied.

As he left, Donatello finished with stretching out his back, and then got to his feet. Raphael had gone back to pacing like a caged lion, and had to stop in his tracks when Donnie suddenly appeared in his path.

"Whatcha doing?" He asked.

"Nothin'." Raph mumbled.

"Okay...so, is there something you wanna talk about?"

"I'm guess I'm not too subtle, huh?"

"It was never your strong suite. You wanna sit down Raph? You're making me dizzy going in circles like that."

Raphael dropped with a huff, never taking his eyes off of the floor.

"Do you wanna talk, or not?" Donnie asked softly.

"Don, I think something's really wrong with me." He answered quickly before he could stop himself.

"I don't follow you."

"You've been watching us during our spars like a hawk. I think you _know_ what my problem is."

Donatello heaved a short breath. Mike had taken Raphael down particularly hard that morning in their work out - and he'd barely managed to score a couple of points during the process. Donnie _had _noticed Raph's increased frustration lately, and that it seemed to have taken a vast toll on his concentration. But before he could say anything, Raph went on.

"I just wish _I_ knew what it was. I look at the guys, we work out together, and I see_ progress _in them, changes. But something's different with me lately Donnie, and I don't know what's happening. I feel like I'm constantly on a treadmill, running a hundred miles an hour, but stayin' in the same exact spot. I'm working as hard as I know how, and I can't seem to get my feet off the ground anymore." He paused for a long moment. "I mean, is this just _it_ for me? Have I _peaked_, maxed out everything that I can really master?"

"Raph, you're not even _close_ to peaking."

"Then what is it? You've been watching us _every_ day, I know you must have some thoughts."

"I can _tell_ you my observation Raph, but you're not gonna like it."

"I don't care if I like it, that's not the point. You _know_ how hard this is for me to do. I'm asking you for help."

"Alright Raph, I'll tell you. Quite literally, you_ lose _it when you get angry."

His brother only stared at him, so he went on after a beat of silence.

"Bro, you're_ extremely _strong, an expert fighter in your own right. No one would ever start to deny that, and you shouldn't either. The thing is...the thing is, that through the years, you've gotten accustomed to using your anger _a lot_. It's pushed you through in too many fights to count, given you an edge and an adrenaline kick to do what should be impossible for any _one_ guy to do.

But that same anger that's pushed you over the top so many times, can also _hinder_ you in a huge way. It's not just about _these_ Raph," Donatello said quietly, covering one of his brother's clenched fists with his own hand, and then touched his head with the other. "It's about _this_. Battle can be won or lost, all in your mind. When you get angry, when you lose it, all the head stuff flies right out the window, it comes down to simple brute strength on your end." Donatello paused again, but Raphael wasn't reacting, so he went on.

"You're stronger physically than Mike is Raph. You already have an advantage going into a spar with him. But when you get frustrated, you hand the advantage right back over to him."

"What am I supposed to do?" Raph said finally. "This is _all_ I know, how can I change it?"

"You start by slowing down."

"Slowing down?"

"That's right, slowing down, and watching. You can't treat an expert fighter the same way you do a punk on the street."

"Watching, like..."

"Like letting your opponent _do_ a few things. Let them throw the first couple of hits, for example."

"I'm supposed to lay down, is that it?" He asked indignantly.

"_No_ Raph. You need to try and get a feel for their _rhythm_, the pattern of how they fight, try to hone in on their weaknesses. You have a ton of assets going for you, but until you learn to focus, you'll come out of it frustrated. _All_ of us operate in a semi-predictable pattern when we fight Raphael. When you go and lose it with one of _us,_ you're making yourself even more vulnerable because of the experience we already have sparring with you."

"How do you learn something like this?"

"A big part of it is_ instinct _Raph, and you have it too. Your unconscious mind is gathering all kinds of information, that you're not even aware of. When you're quiet, when you're focused, you'll start to see it too."

Raphael was silent for a long moment. "Do you know how many times Sensei's tried to tell me something like this? How come I never got it before?"

"Maybe you weren't ready to hear it, I don't know. Try an experiment Raph. Tomorrow when you go to spar with one of the guys, let _them_ do most of the work. You just focus."

"What if it doesn't work for me Donnie? What if I can't do it?"

"You won't know until you try, will you?"


	27. Calm

Early the next morning Donnie had a chance to see Raphael early, before the other guys had come around into the practice room.

"You got your game face on Raph?" He teased, and Raph barely cracked a smile.

"Here goes nothin' I guess."

"Remember Leo knows _how_ to get to you, you've got to be prepared for that. If he thinks you're holding back, you can _bet_ he's going to goad you into getting mad. Let it go right over your head, don't let him distract you."

"I'm gonna_ try_."

*****

Leonardo and Mike came in a few minutes later, around the normal time. Leo immediately dropped on the mat beside Raphael, who had already been slowing stretching out.

"Morning Raph. Do you wanna run through the routine stuff first, or do we wanna get down to business?" He asked good-naturedly.

Raphael got to his feet with a slight smile. "Just _you_ get stretched out, and let's do it."

Leonardo glanced at him a moment longer, cocking his head curiously. Raph seemed a lot _lighter_ this morning. He finished warming up himself, and then rose to meet his brother.

They faced one another the traditional way, bowing simultaneously. Mike sat with down with Donatello as he waited and watched for what would happen, the same thing he'd been doing for weeks when any of them were sparring.

The two brothers slowly circled each other. Leonardo wasn't making any sudden moves, and he was slightly mystified when Raphael didn't rush at him right away either. With a grin growing slowly across his face, Leonardo continued circling his brother, waiting him out.

"Are we playin' ring around the rosey, or are we havin' a spar Leo?" Raphael suddenly growled at his brother.

"Whenever you're ready Raph."

"How come _I_ always have to make the first move?"

"Because you're_ impatient_."

"_Not_ today." He answered, a deadly calm tone coming over him. "You wanna dance Leo? We'll just dance then."

Leonardo still didn't react to him right away, hesitating a few moments longer. Raphael was studying his brother's posture so intensely that he caught the slight muscle twitch, right before Leo launched himself at him. He easily side-stepped his brother, but _didn't_ take the opportunity to try and score off of him.

Now Leonardo was really confused. He settled back firmly on both legs, and peered at his brother as if trying to understand what he was thinking. Raphael wasn't revealing any emotion, and his posture was simply defensive. He didn't seem to have any intention of attacking him.

Leonardo came at him again, this time with a firm round-house kick aimed for the chest. Raphael stepped right out of it, and blocked the two lunges Leo followed it up with.

"What are y' doing?" Leo asked him. "You realize _blocking _still doesn't get you any points."

"And you realize that sparring doesn't require_ talking_." Raph replied evenly.

"I'm just kinda confused bro, 'cause it looks like you're losing your edge. Why aren't you trying?"

Raphael kept his cool, even though he was dying to launch himself at his brother.

_Wait, just wait, _he told himself, never taking his eyes of Leonardo.

His brother moved on him again, throwing a barrage of several blows, one right after another. Raphael blocked the first few he saw coming, but didn't avoid a flying kick that struck him solidly in the stomach. It nearly took his breath away but he stayed firmly on his feet, not moved from where he'd planted them.

"I can do this all day y'know." Leo taunted him. "But I guarantee it would be over faster if you would just _move_ your shell."

Leo received the seething glare he'd expected that time, but not the explosion. Raphael was breathing a little harder, but he still wasn't throwing caution to the wind.

"Maybe you should have had breakfast _first_ this morning, give you a little more energy to get going." Leo said with a hand firmly planted on his side.

Raphael still said nothing, still crouched defensively, as Leonardo advanced on him again. He threw himself into another attack pattern, and as Raphael side-stepped and blocked, this time he was drawn to Leo's _feet_.

_Thrust, thrust, jab...he __had__ to be goin' for a kick sometime soon..._

As Raph had expected the leg came up, and this time he was ready for him. He caught Leonardo's muscular calf right out of mid-air and yanked him hard, while simultaneously tripping up his other leg from underneath him. He successfully sent his brother sprawling on his shell, and then pounced firmly over him to make sure he _stayed_ down.

"I'd call that game, set, match." Mike announced from the peanut gallery.

Raphael stepped off his brother, and offered him a hand. Leonardo allowed him to haul him upright, and actually smiled.

"_Nice_. I don't know _where_ you've been bro...but welcome back." He said ruefully.

"Happy to serve." Raph said, making brief eye contact with Donatello.

The wink that crossed between the two of them didn't escape Mike. As Raphael and Leonardo transitioned into normal training exercises, his cast his _own_ glance at Donnie as they walked out to the living room.

"What did you _do_ to him?" He asked.

"Who?"

"_Raph_. What did you do to him?" He repeated. "That _wasn't_ the same guy I fought yesterday."

"I didn't do anything Mike - I just told him the same thing I've told _you_ for ten years. _Slow down_."

"Yeah, well, thanks a lot." He said mock angrily. "I have to take him again tomorrow y' know!"

"Best of luck to you."

Mike laughed out loud. "Your sympathy is overwhelming. Hey, how long before the docs let _you_ go back in the ring?"

"Are you that desperate to get your hands on me again?"

"Heck yeah dude, I've had _enough_ of you sitting on the sidelines." Mike replied, throwing a friendly arm over his shoulder. "I just hope you remember _how_." He finished teasingly, almost balking under Donatello's dangerous smile.

"I'm gonna give you one piece of advice Mikey - _do not _underestimate. I feel like I've learned more about the three of you in the last six months, than I have in our entire lives of training together."

"I _knew_ you were watchin' us all the time for a reason. What kind of stuff have you learned?"

"When we get back in the 'ring' together, I'll be happy to show you." Donnie told him mock threateningly, and pulled him into a swift head-lock. "Until then, _live_ in fear."

*****

The sound of their laughter echoing across the living room was like music to Splinter's sensitive ears. How often he remembered resenting his sons' loud intrusions while they were growing up, eagerly desiring the solitude of silence. But after the uncomfortable conditions and strained relationships his clan had lived under for the better part of a year prior, he now gladly welcomed every interaction of life between them.

For months he'd been well aware of Donatello's strategy in staying to close to the spars, when he wasn't even able to participate in them. He enjoyed the thought of his son returning completely to action, not only stronger physically, but more in tune _mentally_ than he'd ever been before. That was going to be a truly interesting sight.


	28. SOS

_Another stormy night, about two weeks later._

* * *

It took several minutes before Leonardo stirred on the cold ground, only barely starting to come back around. His mind felt extremely hazy, and it took more time still before he could actually _comprehend_ his surroundings. The incessant rain was the first thing he noticed - it was irritating and cold. He blinked dark eyes, his vision slowly clearing to reveal a gaping hole in a roof above him. He pondered the sight for a minute as he tried to gather his wits about him, and figure out where in the _world_ he was.

He was alone, that was for certain. There was not a single sound to be heard in his immediate surroundings except for driving rain pelting the roof, and an occasional rumble of thunder. He came to realize he was surrounded by splintered remains of roof and rafters. So he had _fallen_. He wondered how long he'd been here, and how badly hurt he might possibly be. The ground he was lying on had turned quickly into mud, and he felt like he was sinking.

He started to try and sit up, agonizing pain stopping him in his tracks. It seemed to come from everywhere at once; spiking jabs ricocheted through his forehead, a tremendous burning in his chest, and the worst pain of all for the moment, lancing through his entire left arm. He was frozen for a few seconds in that position, long enough to see protruding bone from his arm.

Leonardo instantly dropped flat to the earth again, feeling incredibily sickened by what he'd just seen. Panic was starting to seize him, enough that he forgot completely about pelting rain. His problems had just gone from bad to _worse_.

"Okay, okay Leo, don't lose it." He told himself out loud to try and steady his faltering breathing.

The docs...Donnie...they would tell him not to dare move. Even if he _could_ get his legs under him, he probably couldn't get far. There was no way he was getting anywhere on his own. He continued deep breathing to try and steady both panic and pain at the same time, and started feeling around with his right hand for his belt to find his phone. His hand touched nothing, no belt, no weapons, no cell phone, they weren't on him anymore.

He silently cursed to himself, and then remembered his watch.

_Darn it, now what was that combination to set it off?_

Donatello had made it tricky enough so that they couldn't set off an alert by accident. He began playing with the knobs on his watch with his right hand blindly, not daring to make the mistake of looking at his left arm again. Frustration grew as he tried to remember what Donnie had told him, and his still cloudy mind struggled to completely focus.

What if he was bleeding internally? He could be dying right here on the cold ground, and he couldn't remember the stupid combination!

Finally, he stopped striving altogether, and took several more breaths to try and calm himself down.

_Okay think. Think. It'll come to you Leo. Just stay calm._

Two minutes of absolute silence passed, even the noise outside seemed to dim down to nothing. He went for the watch on his left wrist again, slowly starting to eke out the correct pattern. He felt it vibrate over his wrist, and raised his head to steal a glimpse of it. A rapid blinking light confirmed he was successful, and he let his right arm fall to the side, utterly exhausted from the effort.

_Sheesh Donnie. If I get out of this, you're gonna have to make that easier, _was his fleeting thought as he relinquished to darkness.

* * *

A tingling sensation that traveled the entire length of Donatello's arm jolted him suddenly awake, miles away from that horrid scene. He sat up with a start, almost hitting his head on the bunk-bed in the process. A second vibration reminded him why he'd woken up in the_ first _place: his watch was going off. He rolled quickly onto his side, punching a button to light up the display in the darkness. Holding his breath, he scrolled through a menu to try and find out who had activated.

_Leonardo?_

He jumped up with such haste that he actually tripped over one of Mike's skateboards, sending the thing hurtling into the wall, and effectively startling his brother awake on the top bunk.

"Huh, what?"

Donnie resisted the urge to tell him to put his stuff _away_, and instead came to the side to talk to him.

"Something's up with Leo, I'm just gonna see if I can reach him."

"What's going on?"

"I don't know, I'm getting a signal that he set off his beacon. Gimme a second." Donatello pulled his phone out, hitting his brother's speed dial. He waited for it to ring, but it never did. It went straight to voice-mail without any kind of warning, so he hung it up, and tried again with the same result.

"What's wrong?" Mike asked, sitting up now as well.

"It's not even ringing, just going to his voice-mail. I don't like this - I'm going to go get booted up. Wake up Master and Raphael will you? See if they knew about him going anywhere."

*****

As Donnie started up his location software in the Lab, his phone buzzed. He snapped it up instantly, hoping it would be Leonardo. It turned out not to be his brother, but _Luke_ on the other end.

"Hey Donnie, what the heck is going on?" He asked, without any kind of precursor.

"I'm trying to find out, we can't get ahold of him." He replied evenly, balancing the phone with his neck so that he could use both hands to type.

"I'm getting ready to move if I need to. You'll let me know what's going on?"

"Of course Doc, as soon as I _know_ anything." Donnie said, and then pulled the phone away from his ear as call waiting signaled. "I've got somebody else tryin' to reach me, I'll call you back, okay?"

They hung up so he could answer the other line, and found Jenna waiting for him.

"Hey Jen, I'm lookin' into it as we speak." He told her immediately.

"So you _don't_ know what's going on."

"No, except that it's Leo's beacon, and he's not answering his phone." Donatello told her as the others came into the room. "Jen, I'm gonna have to get back with you in a few minutes okay? Everybody else is here, and I gotta focus on interpreting his coordinates."

"Sorry Don, I'm not tryin' to slow you down. Get to it, okay?"

"I am. Don't panic alright? Just stay where you're at, and we'll update you as we know anything." Donatello finished, and hung up with her seconds later to look at the others.

Raphael had already been awake, Mike had actually found him playing guitar in the Lounge.

"Have you found him?" Were the first words out of Raph's mouth.

"I'm definitely getting a strong signal from his watch, but nothing from his phone." Donatelo told them. "And I do mean _nothing,_ it's like the device isn't picking up any kind of signal at all. Even if he didn't have _service_, I should still have access to the chip in his phone. It's like it isn't even _there_. When was the last time you saw him? Did he say anything to you before he left?"

"We watched the last half of a movie...he'd been quiet all night, I don't know, like he might 'ave been thinking. He said he wanted some air, didn't _tell _me not to come, but I don't think he wanted the company. We all need a little space _sometimes_. Anyway, I stayed behind, been in the Lounge for like...an hour and a half?"

"What is it telling you Donatello?" Splinter asked, nodding toward the computer screen.

"It's scanning through recognizable neighborhoods. When I've got it exactly pinpointed to the address or intersection, we need to just get moving. Guys, will you check the supply kits, just make sure they're full? I don't want us to have to scramble in a couple of minutes from now." Donatello requested of his brothers.

While Mike and Raph moved quickly to obey, Splinter sat down in another chair near Donatello.

"I have a _bad_ feeling about this. You must be careful up there tonight, the inclement weather will surely be against you. I have to wonder why he would go out at all." Master Splinter said slowly.

"I don't like it either Master. By all rights, his phone _must_ have been destroyed. I can't think of another reason it would just disappear off the grid like this. I just hope we find _him_ in one piece." Donatello murmured anxiously, starting upright slightly when the software chimed that the trace was complete.

"Okay...it's picking up...about half a mile off Long. I don't know what this address is, I'm gonna just look it up real quick." Donnie said more to himself than his Sensei. He brought up the appropriate search engine to look into the address, and quickly gathered information and specifics about it. He sent something to print, and picked up his hand-held tracker.

"We'll find him Sensei." He said confidently.

"Be cautious - and stay in contact."

*****

Donnie grabbed an ear-piece before he left, adjusting it carefully so he wouldn't have to be tied down to his phone. He called Luke to give him an update as soon as they got to van, and Raphael had taken the wheel.

"...yeah, the place is off of Long Street. You're definitely closer than we are, but you really don't need to--Okay, I hear you. Don't you _dare_ move in until we get there though, we're going to need my hand-held to get a better picture. We're on our way, we'll meet you...say a block before the center? Just stay put, and we'll catch up. And I really do mean, _stay put_." He finished sternly.


	29. Breaking In

No one spoke as they drove through the sheeting rain, seeing even less traffic out than was normal for that time of night. It was truly no condition to be out tooling around in. Lightning flashed intermittently across the sky, the thunder at times _way_ too close for comfort.

"You're sure we can't get tornadoes in the city?" Mike asked in a very small voice.

"They're extremely rare Mike." Donatello assured him patiently.

"So what is this place where Leo is?" Raphael asked with looking away from the road.

"It's a public storage center - only this one has been closed for like two months. They had some huge fire, most of the buildings were seriously damaged or destroyed. Luke will beat us there I'm sure, but I told him not to move till we get there."

*****

They arrived within blocks of the closed facility a few minutes later, and found Luke waiting in his car. He immediately called Donnie on his phone when he noticed them pull up behind him.

"Hey Donnie, I haven't seen any movement in the last few minutes, but I think there's at least one camera up by the gate."

"I'll have one of the guys put up a blinder. It's not going to last as long with this rain, but it will be better than nothing." Donatello told him as he zoomed in on the gate with his digital binoculars. "Okay, why don't you come on over here and join us, and I'll send Mike and Raph to deal with the gate?"

With some instructions from Donatello, his brothers carefully avoided the view finder of the fixed camera, approaching it from an angle that it wouldn't be able to capture them from. Raphael scaled the side of the gate where it was mounted, carefully applying the blinding film to the lens. It was a temporary fix, which would dissolve on it's own over the course of the next two hours.

After blocking the picture, Raphael leaped back down to the ground. Mike produced a pair of bolt cutters for him, and he quickly cut the chains off the gate with a decisive swipe. He and Mike yanked the gates open, and Donatello drove himself and Luke freely back up the block, now that the camera couldn't place them. He and Raphael switched places again, and moved slowly onto the property.

Donatello went to work with his hand-held more seriously now, watching the signal as Raphael barely crept the van along. He called out directions when he could, voice growing as he found a stronger bead on Leonardo.

"Yeah, yeah, just keep going slow Raph...good, now, take a right up here, _perfect_."

He seemed to hold his breath as they passed building after burned out building, and then suddenly spoke up again.

"Stop here - I think this is it. Just gimme a second." Don urged as Raph took his hands off the wheel.

The rain had just picked up stronger as they were all getting out to investigate, but _nobody _was thinking about staying dry at the moment. Donatello surveyed the building wordlessly, as the others started to circle around it. Raphael had quickly honed in on locked door, and called him over to it.

"Here Donnie, I'm sure I could bust thing open. Just one good kick and--"

"_No_!" Donatello nearly exploded. "No, _don't _do that. This thing isn't structurally sound, the whole _thing's_ been condemned. See the tape? If we move on it with too much pressure, we could cause a complete collapse!"

"You're sure Leo's in there?" Mike asked.

"Yes." Donatello said, now resuming his walk around the building. "Do you see the roof? It's splintered, caved in, like...like something came through there."

"What do you want us to do?" Raphael asked impatiently.

"Um...we've got to find the least obstructive way to get in. If we can--" Donatello's statement was cut off by the sound of a shot, and everybody scattered.

"What the--" Luke started to rise, as Raphael instantly shoved him back down.

"Phantom Lords." He spat. "I saw their colors." He grabbed for a piece of some kind of residue off the building, sniffing it indiscriminately. "Seriously? They're shooting at us with a _potato_ gun?"

"I guess even gang bangers have to _downsize_ in this economy." Donnie couldn't help saying.

"Whatever, Mike and I will deal with _this_ annoyance - you guys do _your_ thing and get to Leo."

"Alright Raph, just watch your back okay?" Donatello called after them as they dashed off in the direction the shot had come from. He was slightly concerned about them, but had to believe they could take care of themselves, while they focused on the task at hand.

Swiftly now, he and Luke began scanning the building, searching for any weak points that already existed. In moments Luke found something, and called Donnie to come over.

"There's an opening here - it doesn't really look wide enough, but it might be workable, maybe if we--" He started, and Donnie cut him off.

"I think we could safetly make it bigger, if we do it the right way. Just a second."

He ran to retrieve a tool from the van, and returned with a crow bar a minute later. While he went to the task of prying more space out of the exterior wall, Luke ran back to the van to get a couple of the flashlights out. It didn't take Donnie very long to widen the gap. He dropped to the earth to double-check the clearance, and nodded to himself. Yes, it would work.

"Okay, I'm gonna go in first, and then I want you to stuff that crow bar in to me. If I can get the door open from the inside, it's all good. If not, I'll have to make this a bit wider, I know we'll need more space coming out if Leo ain't moving." Donatello told Luke, turned on his flashlight, and crawled into the dark enclosed space.

Heart racing, he pressed through with a little difficulty. The earth inside was just as much a mess as it was outside, so that he didn't even see the object he was bearing down on before almost completely impaling himself. He jerked back from the sudden pain in his side, shining his flashlight down to investigate. He lightly touched cool metal, running his hand down the length of it until he found the handle. It was one of his brother's _katana_. Instantly he glanced further over with his flashlight, and laid eyes on his brother.

He darted upright off the ground, stopping cold when laid eyes on his brother's broken form. He clearly had sustained some kind of serious damage to his chest, and he winced openly when he saw the protruding bone from Leonardo's left arm.

"Oh _shoot!_"

"Donnie?" Luke called from outside. "What's going on in there?"

"I _found_ him Doc! He doesn't look good, not conscious, I'm seeing multiple injuries, including a compound fracture of his left humerus!"

Luke fought the urge to swear, and ran back to the van to get the kits. He shoved supplies through the wall to Donatello, and then ducked under himself to join him at Leonardo's side.

"I think he's lost a lot of blood from that arm, and his breathing sounds obstructed." Donatello told Luke quietly.

"We need to get that arm covered and immobilzed so that we can move him without causing more damage. How's his pulse?"

"It's here Doc, but it's not strong, definitely slower than it should be."

Donnie took off his cloak and handed it over to Luke to start tearing up with scissors from the kit, and they began using strips for a make-shift dressing. The intense pain brought Leonardo back to himself with a jarring gasp, and Donatello kept a firm grip on his right shoulder to keep him from moving.

"It's okay Leo, it's gonna be okay. We're here now."

"_Donnie_." He whimpered painfully. "I really done it...this time, huh?"

"Shh. Don't talk Leonardo. I know it already hurts a lot, but unfortunately, it's going to hurt worse when we move you."

"Knew you'd find me."

"_Shh_." He repeated. "Focus on breathing, in and out as deep as you comfortably can. Focus on breathing, and not on the pain."

Leonardo obeyed as best as he could, staying completely still as Donatello went back to help Luke finish covering the injury. Then they started to improvise with the very splintered wood around them, creating a temporary splint just to get them through.


	30. True Test

Meanwhile, Raphael and Michelangelo had returned, absolutely none the worse for wear. They easily found the obvious entry point, and started to look under themselves.

"Ya in there Donnie?" Raph called inside.

"Yeah - we've got Leo too! He's hurt _bad_, can one of you grab the backboard from the van, we're gonna need it!" Donnie responded.

"I'm on it!" Mike volunteered and darted back to the van, while Raphael ducked inside to join them.

He sucked in a sharp gasp of his own when he saw his brother, and Donnie got up to meet him.

"Just talk to him for a minute, I think it's better if he stays awake. Try to keep him calm. I'm gonna work on getting the door open."

Raphael nodded and kneeled down beside Leo, taking a deep breath. "Hey Fearless." He said quietly.

Half closed dark eyes averted to look up at him. "Raph...sorry I...dragged you.."

"Don't worry about it." Raphael said before he could finish. "I'm just really glad we _found_ you."

Raph glanced over at Doc, who was finishing up patching Leo's arm so they could move him. As his face screwed up in intense pain, Raphael grabbed his right hand. "Let it out bro, squeeze as hard as you can. It's gonna be over soon, it won't last." He tried to encourage him as Leo shut his eyes with a long groan.

Donatello had managed to pry the door open from the _inside_, and let Mike in with the backboard. With Luke's direction Raph and Mike lifted Leonardo between them as carefully as they could. When he was firmly strapped in place by the bands, they carried him out of the building, up to the waiting van. Luke bent down to the ground, finding the smashed remains of Leonardo's phone where his _shell_ had just been.

"I think it's safe to say he landed on his phone." Luke remarked, but Donnie was hardly listening. He was staring up at the rafters, a curious searching look on his face.

"What?" Luke asked.

"Is that what I think it is?" Donnie asked, pointing his flashlight further up.

Luke stared, and saw what looked like Leo's belt caught in remnants of the framing.

"You're taller than me Doc, do you think you might be able to hook that with something?"

"Sure, I bet your stick would work great."

"My _what_?"

"Your bo! I'm sorry, that's what I _meant_ to say."

With a mock threatening gesture, Donatello handed over his weapon, and Luke stretched to his full height to try and reach it with the aid of the extra length. With a couple of tries he managed to get the leather wrapped around the end, and was about to pull it down.

"Hold it Doc, don't stand right under it, come over to the side. His katana is probably still attatched."

He moved to a better distance and pulled hard, the rest of Leo's missing stuff tumbling to the earth. Donatello carefully picked up his brother's fallen blade, glancing over at Luke as he went back for the second.

"I already_ found _the other one." He told him, sliding both katanas back into their protective case.

He and Luke started taking stuff out to the side of the van, and returned to pick up the crow bar Donatello had almost overlooked. Raphael and Mike were still waiting in the back of the van with Leonardo when they came back out into the rain, so when Donnie heard a sound nearby, he stopped in his tracks. He peered into the darkness for a few seconds, holding his breath when he saw five shadows take form.

Donatello immediately shoved Luke behind him, up against the side of the building. When the man reached into his jacket, Donatello caught a glimpse of a flash of silver.

"No _way_ Doc," He hissed urgently. "Stay behind me, and don't move a muscle!"

He turned back around to face the strangers cooly. They were obviously Phantom Lords, but probably_ not _the same ones that Mike and Raph had just routed, based on their confident swagger.

"Don't you guys ever know when to _quit_?" Donatello demanded of them.

"_We're_ not the ones trespassing here freak." One of them pronounced haughtilty as he showed Donnie his steel. "There are stiff penalties for that, even _without_ ruining our ceremony earlier."

Donatello didn't have a clue what the kid was going on about, and what's more, he didn't care.

"You picked the _wrong_ freak to mess with tonight fellas." He told them, his dangerous tone belying the slight smile that was growing as he reached for his bo.

Mike and Raph had heard their approach, and jumped silently out of the back of the van to investigate. Their own position put them neatly _behind _the strangers. Raphael shook his head, and would have immediately let loose on them if Mike hadn't pulled him back.

"Raph_ wait_." He whispered.

"_What_?"

"Just wait, okay? Let Donnie take care of it."

"But--"

"Let _him_ do it." Mike said confidently.

Raph muttered something dark under his breath, but didn't move.

Donnie's bo made a sharp resounding _crack _as he connected solidly with the first thug's wrist, knocking the knife clean out of his hand. He was so stunned that he didn't move right away, and two of the others pushed forward. Donatello met one of them with another hearty crack across the rib cage, and sent a stinging blow over the next kid's head when he danced in too close.

As the other two plowed forward, he darted out swiftly to meet them. He sent a shattering kick to the jaw of the first one he could reach, and followed up it up with a round-house into the fourth kid's stomach.

Nobody was moving now except for the leader, who'd been scrambling around on the ground to find his knife. Donatello strode over to him just as his hand closed on the blade, and yanked his own long knife off of his belt. His was a good six inches longer than the ridiculous thing the kid was now cowering on the the ground with.

"D'you _really_ wanna go steel to steel with me kid?" Donnie asked with a half smile.

The thug dropped his blade, injured wrist now hanging limply at his side. Absolute terror registered in his eyes as Donatello's gaze bore into him, and he quickly glanced around for his friends, still not moving.

"Are you finished?" Donatello demanded of the frozen kid, who instantly shook his head.

He grabbed him by the jacket, and hauled him roughly to his feet.

"Then get the heck outta here." He ordered.

The teenager spun around to flee, only to see Raphael and Mike behind him for the first time. He swore openly and looked around wildly, like some cornered animal. Donatello stepped to the side and motioned for him to pass, which he _did_, rather reluctantly. Once the kid was past the building, he started running like all of Hell pursued him, and Donnie shook his head in irritation.

"_Stupid _kids. You'll never learn, will you?" He said, lightly nudging one of them on the ground. Then he glanced over at his brothers. "Thanks. You have no idea how good that felt."

"Nice t' have you back Donnie." Mike proclaimed.

*****

Once settled back in the van, Donatello turned an accusing stare on his human friend.

"Lucas Caleb Barrows, what I have _said_ about you carrying that gun?" He demanded, and Luke bristled openly under his glare.

"I'm not getting rid of it Donnie."

"Then leave it at _home_ next time, or I swear I'm gonna start frisking you before I let you out of the car!"

"You _know_ I don't carry it like that Donnie, just when--"

"Just when you think you have to protect us." Donatello cut in. "That isn't your job Doc."

"But it's okay for you guys to risk _your_ necks over and over again?"

"That's _different_, and you know it!"

"Guns are _out_ there Donnie! Some of the good guys need to have 'em, you know the bad ones are sure packing!"

"I don't care if the _cops_ carry guns, I care that _you _are."

"Donnie, I know how to use it, I've never come close to having an accident."

"Do you know why people call 'em accidents Doc? Because you don't plan on having them! I'm not about to let you get into a shoot-out or something worse. Luke, you get to _save_ lives, I don't wanna see you get hurt, or be forced to hurt somebody else!" Donatello said nearly all in one breath, and then sighed. "We don't have time for this debate right now. I'm just warning you that if I catch you carrying it out around again, it's _gonna_ disappear, you follow me?"


	31. Coming Clean

Luke and Donatello spent the first few minutes of the drive just trying to get a clearer picture of Leonardo's injuries, and starting to clean him up somewhat. He had mercifully passed out while Raphael and Mike were getting him into the van, and didn't so much as stir a single muscle while they were working on him now. Luke was silently studying a scan he had taken of Leo's chest, when Mike ducked into the back to check on them.

"Everything okay back here?"

Donatello cast a glance over at Luke, who wasn't saying anything yet.

"Still figuring it out Mikey. He took some damage to his chest, besides that fracture in his arm. He's also hovering around being hypothermic, and I'm sure he's gotta have a concussion." Donnie paused for a beat, and then looked back at Mike. "One of those kids said something really weird to me, about trespassing, and ruining some kind of ceremony. What happened with those ones you and Raph chased down?"

"Not much Donnie, there were only seven of 'em. Raph and I listened to them for a few seconds before we went down on them, but we didn't hear a lot. Something happened here earlier, that's for sure. I think there were a lot more of them hanging around then, and I'm _guessing_ they had something to do with what happened to Leo."

Mike brought Donatello another towel to dry off with a little more as he finished, and then gave him a strange look.

"Is that _his_ blood, or _yours_?" He asked.

"Uh..." Donnie hesitated as he touched his side precariously. "Mine. I had a little run-in with one of his katana."

"You_ what_?" Luke had just caught the last words of their conversation.

"I don't think it's a big deal at all Doc. I just didn't see it."

"May _I_ have a quick look please?"

"Like you have nothing better to be doing?"

"Gimme _five_ seconds Donnie."

He relented, and Luke brought over one of the soaked rags so he could get a better look at it.

"It's not a huge break Don, but it's still too deep for my liking. I suppose you were going to mention it tomorrow?"

"Nah, I wasn't going to mention it at _all_."

"Very funny Donnie, you'd _better_ not be serious. You're a mess, you know that?"

"Have you seen _yourself_ Doc?"

"I can only imagine." He answered dryly. "You're going to need stitches, and we're going to have to_ watch _it. You guys are so prone to infection."

"Another great reason to be cold-blooded." Donnie said sarcastically.

"You shouldn't have been ignoring it, it still needs some pressure."

"Finish what you were doing with Leo Doc, I think I can _handle_ a little pressure." Mike volunteered, dropping to his knees beside where Donnie was sitting.

"What_ did _you see on Leo's scan Doc?" Donnie pursued him.

"He has a complex sternal fracture. It can be indicative of further internal injury, and it's definitely why his breathing is obstructed. I need to get ahold of Marcus so--"

"Actually I talked to him Doc, about twenty minutes ago." Mike said rather guiltily. "He said ya'll weren't answering your phones, and I told him just to head on down. I hope that was the right thing. I sort of just forgot to tell you."

"Yeah, that was the right thing Mike. Now sit back down Donnie, and let your brother help you."

* * *

Marcus was waiting on pins and needles for them to arrive, and leaped to his feet the second he heard the door opening to the Den.

"Hey guys, what--" He started, stopping immediately when he caught sight of how muddy everyone was.

"_Don't_ ask." Luke said evenly.

"I'm almost afraid too." Marcus said, and glanced past his friend to get a glimpse of Leonardo.

"Do us a favor, will you?" Luke said quickly. "I'll have them bring Leo to the Lab for you, and you need to get him started on warming fluids right away, because he's hypothermic." Then he glanced back at Raphael and Mike. "Can you two give him a hand with Leo for a few minutes, help get him cleaned up enough to start some treatment? Donatello and I need to get washed up and sterilized for surgery."

"Surgery?" Marcus echoed. "What are we dealing with?"

"Compound fracture with exposed bone in his left arm, sternal fracture of the chest." Luke answered.

"_Shoot_, that could mean--"

"I _know_ what that could mean Marc, that's why we need to prep for surgery." Luke interrupted him, mentally ordering him not to mention every complication that could occur in front of the guys.

"Have no fear Dr. Barrows." Splinter said as he matieralized out of the darkness. "Go prepare yourselves, and I will help Dr. Sloan myself in the meantime."

* * *

On the way upstairs, Luke cast Donatello a backwards glance, and could easily read that his friend was nervous.

"After we get cleaned up, I want to go ahead and address your side, get it properly patched."

"Doc, I don't want to make Leo _wait_."

"He's going to _need_ some time. We can't go in to fix _anything_ until he's stable enough first. His temperature needs to come back up, a couple of other things need to settle down before we can even get started. We _have_ time Donnie, take a deep breath, and try to relax."

"But you said there were further complications."

"I said there _could_ be. You know a sternal fracture isn't mortal, but it can be a sign of other underlying conditions, which is why we want to act _tonight. _So c'mon, let's not waste any more time out here, let's just get moving."

Donatello shut his mouth, and followed Doc back down the hall to the bathroom.


	32. Pain & Beauty

They had to take enough time to be thorough, before running back downstairs to the Lab. Luke had changed into another set of clothes and was just finally feeling warmer himself when he had Donatello sit down on the table so he could get a better look at him. Marcus had Leonardo well in hand across the room, and it freed Luke up to simply focus on the stitches Donatello needed.

"I'm going to give you a local for this, and just go ahead and get it closed up okay?" Luke told him.

"Please, no drugs Doc. I need my mind to stay _clear_."

"Donnie, the puncture is really deep, it's _going _to hurt."

"I don't care," He said obstinantely. "Just do it."

Luke considered arguing with him, but decided it wasn't worth the breath.

"It's _your_ body. I'll get started then."

He applied a liberal salve to the area to sterilize it, and then proceeded sans drugs like Donnie had asked him to. For his part Donatello endured it silently, and without flinching. His determined gaze rested on Leonardo from across the room, and Luke knew that he was the only thing Donnie was thinking about. In the end Donatello had only agreed to letting Luke treat him first because he knew neither doctor would let him help with Leo otherwise.

As Luke was plowing along, Jenna suddenly walked into the lab, her dark hair still slightly drenched from the rain. Hands on her hips, she took one look at what Luke was doing and shook her head at Donatello.

"What's this about?" She demanded.

"It's nothing serious Jen." Donnie assured her quickly.

"You _said_ you'd keep me in the loop." She said accusingly.

"I'm sorry, we've been a little preoccupied." He told her.

"I guess I'm just going to have to start tagging along on these little excursions like _Doc_ gets to then." She said matter-a-factly.

Donatello started to laugh, but it was cut short by a gasp of sudden pain.

"_Sorry_ Donnie, I'm_ trying _not to be too rough." Doc spoke up.

"_I'm_ the one who wanted to do it without a painkiller - just keep going Doc, I'm fine."

"Truth is Jenna, these guys just don't like to share." Luke said wryly. "You really don't want to be in their way when they need to take somebody down."

"I _heard_ you got some action Donnie. Is this a battle scar?" Jenna asked with her first hint of a smile.

"Nope. I hurt myself in one of the dumbest possible ways, just missed Leo's blade in the dark."

Luke was going back over his work now, checking that the stitches would be tight enough.

"Alright, how's that feel Donnie?"

"I'm sure it's good Doc - thanks."

"I wanna keep a dressing on it for right now, better protection that way. Then I'm going to see where Marcus is at."

Luke left the two of them alone on their end of the room a couple of minutes later, while he went to check how far along Leonardo was.

As soon as he left Jenna leaned in closer to Donatello, who was still sitting up higher on the table. She threw both arms suddenly around his neck, and kissed him unexpectedly. He hugged her firmly around the waist, raising his eyebrows when she looked back up at him.

"Thanks. What was that for?" He asked.

" ' Cause I'm proud of you, my big strong guy, back out on the prowl on the streets of New York City."

"I wouldn't exactly call what we did _prowling_, more like breaking and entering. And those punks were hardly a challenge."

"Does that mean you didn't enjoy it?"

"I wouldn't go _that _far." He said with a laugh, and then gazed at her for a long moment, as if just taking her in.

She had changed into her own dry clothes when she got to the Den, and was now wearing a sweatshirt that looked at least three sizes too big for her. He tugged on one of the too long sleeves playfully.

"Where did you get this thing Jen? I bet it would fit _me_."

"It was my dad's - I absconded with it when he wasn' looking. I know it's not the best look, but it's one of the warmest things I've got."

Donnie shook his head slowly. "Clothes don't make the woman...I think that's how it goes."

He meant it too - as he'd pondered her again just now, he was struck again by how beautiful she was, so vibrant, so alive.

"What's going on in there? What are you thinking?" Jenna asked with a light hand on his cheek.

"Just that you're _still_ the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

As he'd expected she rolled her eyes at him, and then kissed him very lightly in a lingering fashion, that literally gave him goosebumps.

"Okay, enough already Jenna, we need his feet to stay _on_ the ground tonight." Luke called from across the room.

* * *

She left a couple of minutes later so that Donnie could catch up with the others.

"So what's up?" Donatello asked. "The compound fracture is an obvious fix, but what about his chest? How are his vitals?"

"He's stabling out for us, his temperature is getting close to normal." Marc told him. "We have him on supplemental oxygen already. The sternal fracture is rather serious, and I picked up some pulmonary contusions as well. In the case of this kind of chest fracture, we really need to watch him. There are related conditions that can gradually begin to manifest over the next couple of hours, that we're not even aware of right now. We're keeping a close eye on his heart and his lungs.

If his organs weren't damaged any worse than those contusions, the _good_ news is he won't require open surgery for his chest. With proper protection and rest, he'll recoup from that on his own, barring any other disasters. His _arm_ is another story I'm afraid. The most immediate risk is serious infection in the bone, which as you know, can set in very quickly. I'd rather we had more time to plan, but the risk of infection is just too high, particularly given your unique anatomy. I really want to get in there and clean it out the second that he's stable enough."

Donatello nodded thoughtfully. "I've been watching our blood supply like a hawk, we should have plenty to sustain him for surgery, though I bet Mike would ante up some more we needed it. What about realigning the bone?"

"It would be best to do that as soon as possible too." Marcus replied. "Doc and I have been talking about anesthetic, and he told me that you guys have already converted the white lily into a new form."

"_No_." Donatello said automatically. "No way."

Marcus gave Luke a sidelong glance. "We don't have a whole lot of time Donnie, and--"

"I said _no_! N-O! Not happening!" Donatello exploded. "I'm _not _gonna risk _his_ skin on the same drug that almost killed_ me, _when I don't think it's ready!"

He let out a shaky breath a moment later, releasing clenched fists. "No," He said more quietly. "We just...we have to do something else. Not that."

"Okay Donnie," Luke said calmly, "Let's you and I put our heads together, see what we can come up with."

He merely nodded without saying anything, and followed the doctor over to the computer.

"I'm sorry I brought it up to him, that's my fault Donnie. I know how you feel about it, even though--"

"Doc, I know you have a lot more faith in it now than you did to even _begin_ with. But I've told you, I'm not releasing that stuff to be used on any of them until we test it full strength on me again. Period."


	33. Under the Knife

Donatello ducked out of the room to get Master Splinter, so he could join them in their discussion about how to proceed in the safest fashion.

"You know that I'm still not comfortable with the idea of using the anesthetic yet Master." Was the first thing out of Donatello's mouth.

"No more comfortable than _I _am with the thought of you using yourself as a _test_ subject, I'm quite certain." Splinter said reproachfully.

"Regardless of any of that, it's out of the equation for now." Donatello insisted.

"The real issue of going with say, regular sedation, is the outside possibility that he could wake up." Luke said. "In my experience seeing you guys under a drug like that, it doesn't seem very likely. The reduction is still complicated, though cetainly nothing close to what we went through reconstructing your knee Donnie. But if he _did_ come around, not only would it be extraordinarily painful, but if it happened at the wrong time, he could inadvertantly make the damage _worse_. We have to deal with very sensitive matieral, ligaments, muscle, tissue. One wrong move could require multiple surgeries for repair."

"I hear you Doc - but as far as I'm concerned, I would feel better going into this with normal sedation. I'm weighing in my mind the difference between the outside possibility of worse injury, against the possibility of brain damage or _death_." Donatello said quietly.

"When you put it_ that _way, it is rather difficult to dispute." Splinter spoke up.

"So you agree with him." Luke clarified.

"The greater chance for complication does seem to lie with the anesthetic." Splinter answered. "While I would never want him to wake up _during_ a surgery, I would rather he be able to wake up at _all_."

Donnie was trying to read Luke's expression, but getting absolutely nowhere. The young doctor turned around to look at Marcus then.

"Are you listening to any of this? What are you thinking?" Luke asked him.

"It's a risk either way - but the rest of you have a much better understanding of the actual chemical reactions related to the nervous system. I'm going to bow to your judgement, and will move forward with whatever option I'm given." Marcus told him.

Luke turned back around to find Donnie gazing at him imploringly.

"Okay Donnie, y'know I agree with you too. I just didn't want this to be a decision we made between only the two of us. I'm going to need your primary focus during the procedure to be on the monitors, and on Leo's awareness level. That will allow me to be of more help to Marcus, whose orthopedic training has once again become _invaluable _to us."

"I could be of assistance again as well." Splinter volunteered. "I can retrieve whatever you need, as I did before."

"I say the more hands, the better." Marcus said as he came over to join them. "His temperature is good, pulse is steady, and blood pressure has pretty much evened out. Give me about an hour more for my attack plan, and I think I'll be ready to perform the reduction, and then the realignment. Is everyone agreed to proceeding solely under sedation?"

He received several nods, and then he went on.

"Why don't you guys go ahead and get the extra equipment set up then, figure out which sedative you're going to use?"

Luke and Donatello spent several minutes conferring over the right formula and dosage, as Splinter left to inform everyone else of the action that was going to take place in about an hour's time.

* * *

With further preparation, they got started on the procedure a little after 2am. Luke felt better having Donatello along this time, relieved that he could relinquish the monitors to him, and thereby devote his attention entirely to helping Marcus. The two doctors worked seamlessly together, carefully cleaning the bone and surrounding area, while also examining ligaments and muscle for further damage.

"It is a bad break Luke, but it looks pretty clean otherwise." Marcus told him as he probed the limb. "I don't think he pulled any ligaments - there _is_ some muscular fissure, but knowing these guys, he'll work the strength back up without a problem. We just need to be really thorough here, and we'll be ready to realign in no time."

"Docs." Donatello spoke up as Marcus was finishing his statement. "His cardiac function is dropping."

"How much Donnie?" Luke wanted to know immediately.

"Only 10% right now, but that's just been in the last five minutes."

"Keep an eye on it for a couple minutes, see if it holds steady. If it drops again--"

"It just _did_." Donatello said flatly. "Doc, I know you don't like to mix the ephifine with some of this stuff, but..."

"After what happened with you, I'm not chancing waiting him out. Go ahead and give it to him."

"Ephifine?" Splinter repeated.

"It's a little blueish vial, top shelf of the fridge Sensei." Donnie told him swiftly.

While Splinter went to get it, Donatello quickly grabbed a needle.

"How much are you thinking Doc?" He asked Luke.

"How much is he _down_?"

"20% now - I was thinking five units would be enough."

"Go with it. Do you _want_ to handle the injection?"

He took a sharp breath, and nodded. "I'll do it." He replied, as Master Splinter returned with the correct bottle.

He watched in silence while Donatello prepared the needle, and then paused to mentally prepare himself. When Splinter saw him hesitate so clearly, he cocked his head curiously, but said nothing.

"I have to inject it into his heart muscle." Donnie explained. "I've only done this once."

"Calm Donatello, focus yourself on calm." Splinter quietly assured him.

Marcus and Luke paused their own work, and prepared to act quickly to hold him down if the action caused him to wake up.

Donatello released a slow breath as he stood over his brother a half a beat longer, and then moved to inject the drug directly into his heart. He waited a few tense seconds to see what, if anything, was going to happen. He hadn't so much as stirred when the needle went in, and everyone else was still paused waiting for a reaction as well.

He let out another breath he hadn't realized he was holding in when the monitor displayed a slight increase.

"Donnie?" Luke said questioningly.

"He's climbing Doc, do your thing. I'm watching him."

*****

They finished the alignment, Marcus surgically implanting several metal screws to help hold the bone in place. The rest of Leonardo's vitals stayed on par, everything seemed to be holding up, and his heart function was almost completely normal. The doctors immobolized his repaired arm, and seemed to finally relax somewhat.

"Good job Donnie, nice t' have you on with us this time." Marcus told him.

"If you _ever_ have the time, there's a lot I'd like to learn from you Marc." Donnie said in return.

"I have absolutely no doubt you could learn it all." Marcus answered. "You stick around New York long enough, I guarantee I'll _make_ the time."

"Honestly, he was pretty lucky Donnie." Luke spoke up suddenly.

"Lucky?" He repeated.

"Might not seem that way, I know. But a fall like that...whew. If it weren't for his shell, he could have broken his back, his spine, maybe even his neck. It saved him from a lot worse injury." Luke explained.

"It's weird, but I never really thought about it like that." Donatello mused. "How _many_ times have these shells saved our tail?"

* * *

The following two days passed quietly. Between the sedation they had used for the surgery, coupled with the heavy antibiotic to combat possible infection, Leonardo had been out of it the entire time. His vitals were still good, organs were functioning properly, and he hadn't suffered any further complications from the sternal fracture. The small scare involving decreased cardiac function had been attributed most likely to the physical stress his body was enduring, and not a further underlying condition.

Doc and Donnie had taken charge, as Marcus had been forced to return to the hospital. It was around 10am on the third morning since their adventurous night, and Donatello was sitting in with Leonardo, scribbling down some notes on a pad. A soft grunt got his attention suddenly, and he literally dropped his notebook.

"Leo?"

He made something close to the same sound again, and then opened his eyes slowly with a glassy stare that didn't seem to focus.

"Leo." Donnie repeated, and this time his brother flinched at the sound of his voice, turning his head his direction.

"Don? Where am I?" He asked raggedly.

Donatello helped to sit the back of the bed up further, and quickly got him some water.

"You're home, you're in the Lab." Donatello assured him.

His gaze slowly took in the rest of the room, and then fell on his obviously injured arm.

"What_ happened_?"

"We're not really sure bro." Donatello told him gently. "But you're _gonna_ be okay."

"What time is it? What _day_ is it?"

"One question at a time, alright?"

"Do you intend to _answer_ any of them?"

Donatello gave his brother a stern look. "You _need_ to take it easy Leo."

"I'll _relax_ as soon as you start talking."

"We don't _know_ what happened to you Leo, because we weren't there. You set off your watch, and we came out searching for you."

Leonardo processed the information, brow furrowing as he concentrated.

"Wait, wait...I remember...kind of. I think." He glanced over as he saw Donnie get to his feet. "Where are you going?"

"To get Doc - he'll be glad to know that you're awake, everyone will for that matter. I'm sure he'll want to look at you too."

"_This_ is a switch, huh?" Leo asked with a weak smile.

"I have to tell you, I didn't enjoy being on _this_ end very much. I'll be back, okay?"

*****

Minutes later _both _doctors came in. Marcus' surgery case for that morning had been rescheduled due to complications, so he'd immediately returned underground to check on things. Luke went to work checking Leo's reflexes, and answering some of his questions pertaining to how he'd been injured. Marcus hovered nearby, while Donnie was still out talking to everyone else.

After initially explaining the injury to Leonardo's arm, the turtle hadn't really said very much else, and Luke could tell he was pondering something.

"Leo, you're going to be fine. Marcus is really good at what he does, and you shouldn't have trouble regaining the function in the muscle." Luke told him gently.

"Hm?" Leo said, sounding far away, and then snapped back to the real world. "No, sorry Doc. Um, I was just thinking, trying to put some pieces back together."

"Take your time Leo, there's no rush, right?"

"I've had all manners of dreams Doc, I just want to sort out fact from fiction. Where did you find me?"

"At a burned out storage facility, about half a mile off Long Street. Um...there were Phantom Lords hanging around, if that helps jog any memories."

Something lit immediately behind his eyes. "Yes..." He said quietly. "Yes, it does. I jumped in on something...got in over my head, before I realized how many there were."

"They said something to Donnie about somebody ruining a ceremony?"

"An adult initiation." Leo said distastefully. "Then I remember...running like heck, tryin' to get away over some roof-tops. I don't remember what happened next, but I _guess_ I must have missed a jump somewhere."

"What's an adult initiation?" Marcus asked, and Luke grimaced openly.

"It's something the Phantom Lords require when one of their own turns 18. They have to decide individually if they're going to stay in the gang for keeps or not. If they stay, they have to prove their loyality, prove it by taking a life. Young, old, man, woman, there are no rules. You just have to take a life." Luke explained.

"I'm sorry I asked." Marcus muttered.


	34. Secrets

Leonardo regained some strength gradually, but remained on a strong course of antibiotics that left him with very little energy. Life was starting to return to normal again, and everyone seemed to be relaxing again.

Not a minute too soon for Luke, he had some rather pressing issues to deal with on the surface. The court hearing regarding his parents' plane crash years ago was finally going forward, and he'd actually been summoned to appear. He left the night before to get some sleep at his own apartment for the first time since Leo's issues, and confidently left Marcus behind to help keep an eye on things.

Donatello and Raphael had worked in a little more practice time together that evening, since things had been kind of interrupted in the days before. They had decided against any real sparring because of Donnie's stitches, but that wasn't going to stop him from working out some other muscles. They talked intermittently as they both used some weights for a few minutes.

They'd been going at it for about for about half an hour when Raph noticed Donnie hesitate with a wince, nearly dropping the weight he was handling. Raphael swiftly came over to him, pulling it out of his loosened grasp.

"Donnie? You okay?"

He closed his eyes briefly, rubbing a hand across his forehead. "Yeah, I...I just got a little light-headed all the sudden. You know, I think I better just stop."

"Sounds like a good idea. Want me to get Marc?"

Donatello shook his head vigorously, ignoring how much dizzier that made him feel.

"No, no, don't do that, _please_."

"Donnie, if Doc had seen that you _know_ he'd want a look at you."

"That's the _point_ Raph, Luke's got court tomorrow. If you get Marcus in here, he's going to call Luke, I just know it. Then he's gonna drag himself down here. I don't want that, okay? I want him to be able to focus on this thing for tomorrow, it's not going to be easy on him."

"So what, I suppose you want me to keep my mouth shut?"

"I would _really_ appreciate it."

Raphael stared at him for a long moment, and then rolled his eyes with a sigh. "Fine. But you're _gonna_ take it easy, or I swear I'm bringing the whole medical team down on you."

Donatello easily agreed, because he really wasn't feeling well at all. He didn't say a word to Raphael about the chills racking his body, he figured the less his brother knew, the better. He decided just to go to bed and crash.

* * *

Donatello woke up a little after 9:30 in the morning with a bit of a jolt. He never slept late, and certainly hadn't intended to this morning. As he sat up slightly on his elbows, his equilibrium was immediately spinning.

_Whoa. What the heck?_

He pushed himself up slowly, gripping his forehead for several seconds. As he waited for the spell to pass, he was seized by another set of violent tremors. He gulped air warily, trying to get a handle on what was going on. He swallowed tentatively to check out his throat. There had been a moderate case of pneumonia a couple of months ago, was it flaring back up again?

No, his throat felt okay - he couldn't recall coughing either. He remembered a horrible night's sleep, which was probably the reason he'd woken up late. But that didn't explain any of this.

He swung both legs over the bed, carefully easing upright onto the floor. His legs felt like lead - every part of him seemed heavier than normal. He took one halting step and then another, dizziness crashing over him with every effort he put out. As he paused near the top of the stairs, he glanced down the hall towards the bathroom.

His thoughts were feeling fuzzier now too, and he couldn't remember why he would even want to go downstairs. He was cold, sick of these chills. All he could think about now was getting a little warmer.

* * *

Mike heard the water start upstairs as he was coming out of the kitchen to see Raphael, who was finishing his breakfast on the couch.

"Donnie must be up. I bet he's hungry, he hardly ate anything last night. I'm gonna get another omelet going." Mike remarked, and headed back to the kitchen."

"I don't suppose we have any more of that cinnamon toast?" Raph asked hopefully.

"Yeah, we still have half a loaf. I'll make ya some more, but you have to leave some for Donnie!" Mike told him, and disappeared back into the kitchen.

He came back out a few minutes later to find out where Donnie was, and was surprised to see that he hadn't come down yet.

"That's weird, the water's still going? He doesn't take that long...ever." Mike said, glancing up the staircase.

"I'll go see what he's doing, you just keep his breakfast warm." Raphael told him, and darted up the stairs.

He knocked on the bathroom door, and waited what he deemed was the appropriate time for a response.

"Donnie?" He called louder from outside, but still didn't hear anything from him.

He pushed the door open slightly, peering inside. "Donnie, what are you doing?" He called.

There was still no response, so he ventured slowly inside toward the shower where water was still running. The curtain had been yanked at a weird angle, and when he got closer, he noticed an arm flailed through it.

_No! No this can't be---_

He didn't allow himself to finish the thought, he simply tore the curtain open the rest of the way, and found his brother face-down on the tile floor. Quickly he ducked under the shower spray to turn it off, and pulled Donatello out on to the rug, rolling him back onto his shell. Heart racing, he checked to see if he was breathing, found a pulse, and tried to revive him.

"Donnie? Don, wake up. _C'mon_ genius, open your eyes for me."

When he traced a hand over his brother's forehead he found blood, and looked closer to see a jagged wound in his right temple, that had just started to bleed again now that he was out of the water.

"_Dang it_!" He jumped to his feet and ran to he doorway. "SENSEI! COME QUICK!"

The panic in his voice not only drew Master Splinter in a hurry, it caused Mike to completely drop the pan he was working with, and he came running too. Their Sensei quickly dropped to the rug beside them, glancing between Donatello and Raphael.

"What happened? Did you find him this way?"

"No Master, he was on the floor in the shower, like he fell or somethin'. I just turned it off and pulled him out, made sure he was breathing. He's bleeding too!"

Splinter's deft fingers were probing Donatello's neck and jaw for breaks, and he called out to Michelangelo without looking up.

"Get me a towel for his head, and another to apply pressure."

Mike dashed to obey, as Raphael bit his lip nervously.

"Sensei, there's something I probably ought tell you. We were working out a little bit, just with some weights last night. Something weird came over him, like he didn't feel well. He told me not to tell anybody, he said he was just light-headed, tired...he quit right away, and just went to bed. He didn't want to be a problem for Luke and I...I told 'im I'd keep my mouth shut if he took it easy."

Splinter took the news without reacting, until he noticed the blueish tinge to his son's extremities. That was _not_ normal.

"Raphael, run and get Dr. Sloan, _right_ now!" Splinter commanded.

Raph took the stairs three at a time, landing on the last one with such force that Marcus actually glanced out from the Lab.

"Hey, where's the fire?" He asked with a grin, but his expression changed when he saw Raph's face.

"Something's wrong with Donnie, I found him passed out in the bathroom. He was acting weird last night too!"

Marcus only took time to snatch a scanner, and followed him back up.

"What's going on?" He asked a little breathlessly, as Splinter moved to make room for him. "Did he fall somehow?"

"That was my first thought, judging from the way he hit his head. But now I am not so sure Doctor - take a look at his fingers, the tips of his feet. He also has not so much as stirred." Splinter answered.

Marcus examined the curious phenomenon with his penlight, and then jolted with a sudden realization. Without saying a word he swiftly scanned for his vitals, checking and re-checking his pulse rate and blood pressure, then listening to his breathing.

_No, no, no...this can't be happening __now__. It can't! There's no way I can reach Luke. Donnie please, please wake up!_

"Doctor Sloan?" Splinter said questioningly, when the man had stared at his screen for over ninety seconds.

The man glanced back at him, and Splinter noted the flash of fear in his eyes before he pulled himself together.

"I think I know what it is. Guys, can you get him down to the Lab for me, just be real careful of his head, okay?"

Leonardo sat up part way on his good arm, eyes as big as saucers when his brothers brought Donatello in.

"_What the heck_?" He demanded, but no one responded immediately.

"Thanks guys, now I'm going to ask you to leave your Sensei and I. You can wait outside, and when I have anything definitive, he or I will let you know."

When they were gone, Splinter immediately pressed the man for information. "What is going on?"

"It looks like septic shock, it has to be related to some kind of infection. We need to get him started on fluids, at least some blood right away. Can you help me out here Master Splinter, grab a positive one for me while I set up the machine?" Marcus answered.


	35. Flying Solo

Editor's Note: For those of you who are tempted to think that I have some personal vendetta against Donatello, for everything there is a purpose. Part of it is my attempt at a realistic portrayal, as it is a fact that cold blooded creatures don't produce as many antibodies as we do, and are therefore more susceptible to infection and disease. The other part is simply for Marcus' benefit, as he needs to learn how to function without the training wheels. Unfortunately, the only way to _force_ the issue is to effectively knock Donatello out of commission.

I feel like I'm going into overtime on this story, so I'm honestly close to finishing up. My other fan-fic just had such a bittersweet ending, that I wanted this one to feel a bit more gratifying. I hope I've accomplished that to a certain degree. So there you have it, and we now return to the story already in progress...

* * *

Raphael could hardly sit still. He was mentally beating himself up for agreeing to keep quiet in the first place, as well as telling Donatello off for asking him to. He should have _known_ something more was going when Donatello had so easily given up and gone to bed.

_Gonna have to start using your head more in real life too_, he regretfully thought to himself.

"Should we call Jenna do you think?" Mike asked him. "She'll skin us alive if we don't tell her."

Raph glanced at his watch for the time. "I'll text her, ask her to come down when she's done for the day. If she wants to get mad that we didn't tell her sooner, she can. But I don't want to scare her when _we_ don't even know what's going on."

* * *

Raphael was not the only one wondering at that moment. Leonardo was almost livid that no one would at least talk to him. He knew they were in a hurry, but they couldn't just leave him completely in the dark like this. In exasperation he finally started to get up, coming close to ripping out his own IV in the process. The action wasn't missed by his Sensei, who immediately backpedaled to get over to him.

"What do you think you're doing?" He said sternly. "Lay _down_ my son."

"Sensei, you can't just leave me over here in earshot, and not tell me what's going on! What's septic shock? Why is this happening to him?"

Marcus had just finished setting up the first transfusion, and took a few seconds to come over and satisfy him.

"It means his body's trying to fight a very nasty infection Leo. Sometimes the way the immune system responds to bacteria can cause a dramatic drop in blood pressure, which in turn prevents the delivery of proper blood flow to the organs. It's also causing fluid to start collecting in his lungs, which we really don't want to see."

"But you know how to treat it, and you've already started." Splinter said evenly.

"Yes, but fluid replacement is only part of the answer. He actually needs to start receiving about three different things, all at once here."

Splinter caught the unsure tone in his voice, and pulled the man aside away from Leonardo.

"Do we have what you need?"

"Yes, I already made sure of that. The thing is, I've never done this before. I've given them injections, sure, but it was always done under supervision. Luke or Donnie were always right there to tell me the correct method or dosage. Particularly with him needing a couple of things at once, I feel like I really don't know what I'm doing! I have to get the ratios right on, or it will either not help the situation at all, or make it worse." Marcus said so only Splinter could hear.

"Doctor, this is not the same situation as it was when you first met them. You have so much more experience and knowledge of how their bodies work now."

"That's true, but like I said, I've always just gone by their judgement on the chemical issues. Do you have any idea what they would recommend in this case?"

Splinter shook his head morosely. "I have less understanding of their formulas than _you_ do. I know how to work with herbs, but these have been twisted and altered beyond their original form, to a place where I can't _begin_ to do anything with them. I will help you however I can, but I cannot tell you what to do here,_ you _must make the decision. Do not do anything rashly, keep yourself calm, and consider this carefully."

"This honestly scares me Master Splinter. I don't know if I'm ready for this."

"No more ready than Luke was his first time, I imagine. But if you do nothing, he will surely suffer for it."

* * *

Neither Raph or Mike had said anything for several minutes, when Donatello's phone on the coffee table suddenly went off. Mike snatched it up and looked at the Caller ID.

"Shoot, it's Jenna! What should I do?"

"Answer it!" Raphael told him quickly.

He cleared his throat nervously and flipped it open. "Hello?"

Jenna was surprised to hear his voice. "Mike? What are you guys up to today? I just got Raph's text."

"We're not up to anything, there's nothing happening here, everything's fine." He stammered in one nervous breath, and Raph could have choked him. He never _was_ a good liar under pressure.

Jenna actually hadn't suspected a single thing up to that point, but instantly realized that something _had_ to be wrong.

"Mike, where's Donnie? Why didn't he answer his phone?"

"He um, he can't talk right now, he--"

Mike was cut off by Raphael forcibly taking the phone out of his hand.

"Yeah, hey Jenna." He said calmly. "Seriously, you don't need to panic or anything, okay? Donnie's just kind of indisposed at the moment. No, don't you _dare_ go cutting that class, we're not gonna be responsible for you becoming a delinquent! Just c'mon down when you get finished, like I said in the text. Okay, I'll see you later."

He hung up with her, and gave Mike a threatening look. "Way to spill the beans big mouth."

"_You_ told me to answer it."

"Did I_ tell _you to freak her out too?" He answered harshly, and regretted it a moment later. "Sorry Mikey, I'm just a little stressed."

Mike shrugged his shoulders slightly. "It's okay Raph. And Donnie's gonna be okay too - Marc knows what he's doing, right?"

"I guess."

Both of them were startled about forty minutes later, when the door to the Den suddenly came open. Raphael jumped to his feet, scowling when he saw that it was Jenna.

"What happened to _not_ cutting your last class?" He demanded.

She repressed a smile and tried to continue with all seriousness. "It was canceled. Is it _my_ fault the professor accidently locked his keys in the room, with everyone else on the outside?"

"I'd bet my shell it absolutely _was_ your fault! You _are_ a delinquent!"

"Only when I have to be Raph. What's wrong with Donnie?"

"It's some kind of bad reaction to an infection," Mike told her. "Marc is handling it, you know we can't get ahold of Luke right now."

Jenna peered sadly into the Lab for a few seconds, and then glanced back at the others. "It's so sudden. He seemed fine yesterday."

"Well, not really." Raph said with a little bit of hemming.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he wasn't _really_ okay, and I knew it. I can't help feeling like this is partially my fault. I'll never keep my mouth shut _again_, that's for sure." Raph muttered to himself.

* * *

Marcus had long ago forced himself to pull it together, and make the necessary decisions. He wasn't certain of any of the dosages he'd chosen for Donatello, but he had to go forward with something regardless. Splinter had stayed by his side part of the time, and spent the rest of it over by Leonardo, still trying to smooth him over. As he came over to see him again, he became the subject of Leonardo's crestfallen gaze.

"So are you guys sayin' that my katana did this to him?"

"No Leonardo, some form of bateria in that storage center did _this_ to him. Then he either did not _realize_ he was fighting an infection, or he chose to ignore it." Splinter told him carefully.

"I really don't think he would ignore it if he _thought_ it was serious." Marcus spoke up. "That's the whole problem with sepsis - when the symptoms first start, they can masquerade as a lot of other simple things, like the flu for instance. It's not until it progresses further that everything else comes to light, not unless you know what you're specifically looking for early on. I've got him under every type of surveillance that we have available to us, and I'm hoping to see some change soon. So far his blood pressure hasn't dropped any further, and his breathing hasn't gotten any _worse_. He's functioning alright with just the Oxi in place, that is, he's still breathing on his own. God _knows_ I don't want to go through that again."

* * *

Two hours later he was slightly more improved, though still in need of the supplemental oxygen, and the drug combination had left him firmly knocked out. Marcus' phone buzzed, and he instantly yanked it off his belt. _Luke!_ Breathing a sudden sigh of relief, he answered it, and tried to sound normal.

"Luke, hey. Are you done for the day?"

"Yeah, we just recessed. There have been a couple of delays, so it won't be reconvening until next week."

"Are you doing okay?" Marc asked him.

"I'm fine. I won't say it's been pleasant but...at least it's gonna be over with, and I can finally get on with my life. How's it been down there today? Is everything quiet on the homefront?"

Marcus didn't say anything for a long moment, and his hesitation didn't bode well with Luke.

"Oh brother,_ what_? What happened?" He demanded.

"Not a whole lot. Leo's doing fine, everybody's getting along, they're all in one piece, Donnie went into septic shock..."

"Wait a minute, _what_? Are you _kidding_ me?"

"Wish I was Luke - I'm still not positive on the dosages I gave him, though he _hasn't_ gotten worse."

Marcus could tell by Luke's breathing that his friend had just shifted into high gear.

"I'll be there as soon as I can!"

* * *

When Luke arrived, he literally _had_ to stop for a few seconds in the den to catch his breath, and eyed Mike and Raphael with a little frustration.

"Why didn't anybody call me?" He growled.

"You were in _court_!" Mike protested.

"So what? There's always a way around these things. All somebody had to do was call in a threat on the building, and that courthouse would have emptied right out!"

"Doc, you're worse than _Jenna_." Raph said, shaking his head at him.

"Why, what'd _you_ wanna do?" He asked her.

"It's not what I wanted to do, it's what I _did_." She answered smoothly. "I showed up early for my last class, distracted my professor so I could get ahold of his keys. Then I left them on his desk, made an excuse for us both to leave the room, and locked the door behind us. Worked like a charm."

"That's pretty darn good, I'm going to have to remember that." Luke remarked. "Excuse me guys."

He ran into the Lab to find Marcus, and his friend explained in detail everything that had happened, his diagnosis, and the steps he'd taken since.

"I should have known better." Luke said to himself. "He should have been on the same thing Leo's been on since the _start_."

"There was no reason to weigh him down with all that, not without symptoms." Marcus contradicted him.

"Well, we _have_ a reason now. _Shoot_. We're seriously running low on tetrozine."

"I was about to mention that..."

"It's no big deal, I'm just going to have to get some more of the antibiotic cooking right away."

"Do you have all the components you need?"

Luke took a few moments to look at inventory, and then nodded.

"I know you've had a long day, are you okay to keep an eye on him while I get started on more formula?" Luke asked him.

"Yes, of course." Marcus said, a little more confidently than he'd felt all day. "I'm just glad you're _here_."

Luke laid a firm hand on his friend's shoulder, and looked him squarely in the eyes.

"Marc, y'did good. Your guesstimates were right on. You handled everything great here on your own."

He shook his head slowly at Luke, the weariness truly coming out in his eyes.

"I was scared out of my mind." He told him.

"I _know_ that feeling." Luke replied, and then had to flip into gear.


	36. Coming Around

Donatello didn't start to wake up until the early afternoon on the next day, and he was extremely confused when he did. Bleary eyed and more than a little shell-shocked, he sat up very slightly on his elbows to look around.

_Am I dreaming? Why am I __here__?_

He pinched himself just to make sure he was awake - but the IV drip continued, the oxygen still filtered through the machine, and his head still felt like he'd bashed it into a brick wall. He raised a tentative hand to touch his forehead, finding what felt like a new bandage. With that he tried to sit up a little further, barely making it a couple of inches. It was just far enough for him to make out Leonardo, dozing across the room.

It took too much energy to sustain his own weight, so he lowered himself back to the mattress and closed his eyes for a long moment.

"Donatello?" A familiar voice called from the door, and then someone came running his direction.

He re-opened his eyes, to see Luke standing over him hopefully. "I thought I saw you move."

"_Doc_." He said dryly, and then remembered something. "What are you doing here?" He asked wearily. "What about court?"

"Court was _yesterday_ Donnie, I don't have to go back until next week."

"You said you had to go on _Monday_."

"Well, _today_ is Tuesday."

"What? I...I missed something, didn't I?"

Luke laughed, but the sound was completely devoid of any real joy. "_Boy_, did you ever. Actually, I missed most of it too, _because_ I was sitting in a court room. Let me get you some water, and I'll try to fill in the gaps, okay?"

He helped him to get a few sips down, and then pulled over a chair next to him.

"You remember our little talk, about the possibility of infection with your side?"

"Uh...yeah."

"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me. Did you_ feel _anything strange over the last three or four days, _before_ the one you missed completely?"

"Not until las--that is, Sunday night." He answered after a moment. "Working out with Raph on some weights, I got so light-headed I felt like I might pass out. I begged him not to mention it to Marcus, because I figured he'd call you."

"Is that the _only_ thing?"

"I just wasn't feeling well _period _that night, but it didn't seem unusual. I figured I was overworked, tired. I think I just went to bed, hoping I'd sleep it off."

"You can't sleep off _sepsis_ Donnie."

The turtles' eyes suddenly went very wide. "_Sepsis_? Are you serious?"

"Quite."

Donatello smacked the flat of his palm against his forehead, so angry that he narrowly missed hitting his temple. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! How did I _let_ that happen? The signs were_ there,_ and I made Raph ignore them, told him to keep it quiet!"

"He _did_ keep it quiet, up until he found you unconscious Monday morning. _Watch_ your head by the way, you must have hit it on the way down."

He was so frustrated all of the sudden that he was clenching both fists, and shook his head at the ceiling. "I am so _sorry_ Doc...I didn't do it on purpose, I _swear_. I had no clue that was what it was. I _should_ have, but I didn't."

"What you _should_ have done was come to Marcus on Sunday night Donnie. You really put yourself at much worse risk, and it was _very_ hard on him to be completely on his own to treat you." Luke said somewhat sternly.

"I don't know how to apologize enough." He murmured. "I really owe him big time, huh?"

"He didn't enjoy being forced to figure out the right course of drugs on his own, but he'll be ecstatic to hear that you've come around already. I think you'll find that he's not as _hard_ on you as I tend to be. Marc very much came to your defense last night."

"I really didn't think it was serious Doc - you gotta believe I wasn't just _trying_ to avoid this place."

"I do realize that Donnie." Luke said, finally softening toward his friend. "And I'm extremely glad that you're gonna be okay." He rose from the chair to check out his monitors again. "You're looking pretty even right now, we're still getting rid of fluid from your lungs, that's why you're on oxygen."

"What's the IV, tetrozine? We must be _really_ flying through it now."

"That was the _first_ thing I had to focus on when I got here yesterday afternoon - making up some more."

"So...court." Donatello said thoughtfully. "What was that like?"

"It was harder than I thought it would be." Luke admitted, looking down suddenly. "It's been over four years, and it _still_ feels like a dream sometimes. It's easier not to think about it at all. Going into that courtroom, seeing all those _pictures_...It made me just want to disappear. I don't want to go back there, I don't _want_ to be reminded of what it felt like to lose them that way."

He paused for a very long time, but Donnie didn't say anything. He sensed that he wasn't finished.

"You have no idea how close I came to losing it _completely_ when they died Donnie. You know I'm not the most social person on the face of the earth. My family, our work together, that _was_ my whole life. If there was something...almost anything I could do to get out of this, I would do it. I don't want to remember some of this stuff."

"Doc..." Donnie said softly. "It _sounds_ like you're thinking that going through it again might make you_ lose _it again."

"That's exactly it. Haven't you ever wondered why I get so completely obsessed over minute details? It's how I function, I have to keep my mind _busy_ so that I don't focus on the wrong things."

"That doesn't seem like functioning Doc, it sounds like you're still trying to escape." Donatello said as gently as he could. "Like it or not...you're not going to be able to avoid this forever."

"But it's been _different_ since I've known you guys, everything changed after that. Why should I have to rehash this all over again now?"

"_Some_ things are different, but not everything. If you had ever truly healed at all, going back in there wouldn't be this difficult. I think you just pushed it off into the farthest corner of your mind, and did your best to ignore it. I've heard some people say that time can heal all things. I don't agree with that Doc, I think time helps you become _numb_ to the pain, it helps you to forget things, but it doesn't heal you. I don't think you're ever going to be completely 'over it' if you don't face it down again, in all of its' turmoil. The difference this time is, you don't have to do it alone."

"I already feel like I'm trying to do it alone." He said brokenly. "I wouldn't even talk to Marcus about it yesterday. I feel like I'm about to relive it the exact same way I did before."

"It's too late for _that _Doc, because you've already told _me_." Donnie said with a grin, and actually managed to get a half smile out of Luke.

"I don't know. I might end up having to move in with you guys for awhile to _keep _me sane."

"What's the difference Doc? You practically live here already, don't you?"


	37. Safeguard

_One Month Later_

_

* * *

_

"...I don't _care_ what level you're on Mike, get your shell in here!" Raphael yelled at his brother out of serious irritation.

"Just give me a second to save it!" He called back.

"You've had ten _minutes_ to save your game! Turn it off, and get in here before I come out and pummel you myself!"

Mike ducked inside the Lab with a sheepish smile a few seconds later.

"Sorry guys, I've been working on that level for like two weeks."

"Alright, the masked avenger is here now, so what's this about Donnie?" Raph asked his brother. "Why'd you wanna see all of us together?"

"Why don't you guys sit down? I have something I've been wanting to show you." Donnie told all three of them.

"Is this like some new tech thingy Don? Y'know I have a hard time keeping up with your changes." Leo asked him immediately.

"It is_ just _such a thingy actually, but it's sort of different than anything I've ever worked on before. I've been developing it over the last two years, with some of Doc's help." He replied.

"Doc? He doesn't usually get into your gizmos like that, does he?" Mike spoke up.

"I told you, this one is special. Okay, so we've been using the watches I made for several years, and I _know_ that they're flawed, very limited in what they can actually do. What happened to Leo last month actually has spurred me on to _finish_ this project. I've gone back over that night again and again, thinking about how _differently_ it could have turned out. What if you hadn't come around to turn on your watch Leo? Or what if _it_ had been destroyed, the same way your phone was?"

"I'm still waiting for a _replacement_, by the way." Leo said with a half smile.

"It's coming. Anyway. The only way to presently activate the homing beacon inside your watches, is to turn on the distress signal. It's always been sort of assumed that we would have the _chance_ to use it, and if not, we could still trace each other through the signal in our cell-phones. But it's not really that simple is it? In the heat of battle, anything can happen. Things can get broken, or lost completely.

So I decided _awhile_ ago, that it was time to take the next step. I've been working on a brand new kind of beacon, one that will really be able to do a whole lot more than simply broadcast a signal to follow."

"Is it more powerful or something?" Leo asked. "I mean, I'm just wondering how a new beacon can solve the problem with consistency."

"Part of the difference is, you won't be able to lose it, forget it, or otherwise see it destroyed. It's not going to be attached to a phone or a watch, this one is an _implanted_ device that would be injected into one of your arms."

Raph was the first one to react. "_What_? No freakin' way Donnie! You think you're gonna put some location chip inside me like I'm a _dog_?"

"Raph, listen to me, okay? Just listen." Donatello said very calmly. "This _isn't _an attempt to keep tabs on you. I know it's kind of a freaky thing to think about, but--"

"There's no way I'm doing this Donnie, no _way_!" Raphael interrupted him.

"Raph, would you shut up and let him_ finish_?" Mike retorted.

Raphael glared at him for a few moments, and then turned a skeptical look back to Donnie. "Alright genius. What makes this thing so special, besides the fact that you wanna put it inside us?"

"Aside from the fact that it would grant us the ability to find each other no matter what situation we're in, this one can also give us an idea of what's going _on_ inside of us."

"_Huh_?" Was the appropriate response from all three of them.

"It sends out a signal, using the same sort of technology I used in the medical scanner. It can instantly gather your vital information, temperature, blood pressure, pulse, even your awareness levels. It's designed to constantly gather data and to keep a record of it, so that it can then be recalled to one central location when a search is done for it.

What this basically means is that if something _did_ happen to one of us, we could already have an idea of how you're doing _physically_, before we ever find you. It would be a great tool to prepare the Docs or myself, we could already have a plan of attack for treatment. Say we notice that you're hypothermic, or close to going into shock. We could already have the exact right formulas on hand with us, and have a good idea of what needs to be done first thing when we reach you."

"Donnie, that's _brilliant_. Sign me up." Leonardo said with a whistle.

Raphael still looked uncertain. "I don't know bro. I mean seriously, this might sound stupid, but I have to ask. If you could track us through that thing, what's to stop somebody _else_ from doing the same thing?"

"That's not a stupid question Raph - it's actually the factor that's been holding me up for awhile. I've created an extremely complicated algorithm that would tie directly into our signals. What that means is that we're not operating under something like a regular frequency, that anyone can just stumble onto, or even if they were really _trying_ to find it. It's an incredibly unique formula that would be darn near _impossible_ for someone else to crack."

"Well what if something happens to _you_ Donnie? You've been known to wander off yourself." Raph pressed him.

"I've thought of that. The algorithm is already tied into every computer in this room, I've meshed it into a program that _will_ be user friendly. They're already set up with biometics for extra protection, so that just in case we were ever truly compromised _here_, our information would stay safe. You guys should know that Master Splinter knows all about this, and he agrees with me that it should be implemented. That being said, I'm not going to _force_ it on any of you. I just want you to know that it's for your protection, and_ not _for the purpose of spying on you. I have every intention of respecting your privacy, _unless_ you go missing and aren't reachable."

"You _know_ I'm in Donnie." Leonardo answered smoothly.

"Me too." Mike said. "Just don't let me see the needle you're gonna have to use."

Leonardo glanced at Raphael, and could tell the wheels were still turning.

"You know he has our best interest at heart Raph." Leo said quietly.

"Yeah, yeah..." Raph muttered under his breath. "Oh whatever, you're gonna talk me into it eventually, so why should I bother fighting it?"


	38. Happy Birthday

_Three Months Later_

* * *

Donatello was dead to the world, fast alseep on the bottom bunk in the room that he and Mike shared. He was startled suddenly awake by his cell phone, and for a moment thought that his alarm was going off. One glance at the time confused him a great deal. 5:00AM? No, that wasn't his alarm either, somebody was _calling _him. Still feeling a little groggy, he picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Morning Donnie." Mike chortled on the other end.

"Mike? What are you _doing_? Where are you?"

"Downstairs, in the kitchen. Can you come down here for a sec? I wanna show you something."

"Are you out of your _mind_? It's 5AM!"

"Nope. Now I can't bring it to you, so would you come down please?"

"I'll be there in a minute." He grumbled, and slapped the phone shut.

Donatello rose gingerly and started across the room, nearly tripping over a skateboard once again. He grunted in sheer irritation and pushed it aside with one foot, shoving it back towards the closet. He yawned widely as he trotted down the stairs.

_This had better be good._

He saw a light coming from underneath the kitchen door, which suddenly shut off when he got closer.

"Mike?" He called out curiously.

"C'mon in Donnie!" He called back through the door.

Donatello pushed it open with a little confusion. "Hey Mike, what happened to the--"

He was simply trying to ask what was up with the lights, but was instantly cut off by a whipped cream pie that he didn't even _see _coming. Before he had a chance to recover or make a sound, he was converged on from three different directions at once, pummeled by various pastry missiles. The attack probably lasted less than two minutes, and he didn't bother fighting it. It had come to be expected around this time every year - just not _this_ early. After a few seconds his own laughter joined with his brothers, who were already dying by now.

He struggled to get whipped cream out of his eyes, while laughing so hard he could hardly stand up straight. Mike shoved a towel into his hands and he wiped his eyes fiercely, then directing an accusing gaze at his three brothers, as one of them hit the light switch to bring the room back into focus.

"Not _fair_!" He proclaimed loudly. "My birthday's not for two _weeks_!"

"Sorry about the wake up call Donnie - it's getting to be too hard to surprise each other anymore!"Mike said with a wide grin.

"Well it worked - only now I'm gonna have to _kill_ you!" He answered.

"Who, me?" Mike asked innocently.

"This was all _your_ idea - I know it!" Donatello said, pouncing on top of his brother with no further warning.

"Ow! I couldn't let the game die Donnie! OW! That's gonna leave a mark!"

"I'm gonna leave a _mark_ alright!"

The door pushed open suddenly, and Master Splinter looked inside. He had been wakened by their commotion only a couple of minutes prior. He caught sight of his sons, then rolled his eyes and backed out of the room.

_Boys. Do they ever grow up?_

Meanwhile, Donnie was still trying to teach his younger brother a lesson.

"Get offa me ya big lummox!"

"Not until you give Mikey - I'm still waitin' to hear it."

"You'll never take me alive!"

"Who said I was tryin' to?"

Raph stepped over to Donatello, tapping him lightly on the shell. "Saved something for you Donnie."

Donatello smiled when he saw the pie in his hand. "Much obliged!" He proclaimed, and promptly shoved it in Mike's face.

Between coughing and laughing, he still struggled under Donatello's weight, as his brother wiped whipped cream all over him.

"_Okay_!" He gasped breathlessly. "Okay I _give_! You win!"

"Hey Donnie, I saved something for you too." Leonardo told him as Donnie finally let Mike up. He turned around to face Leo, only to be plastered unexpectedly one last time.

"Oh you are _so_ in for it! _C'mere_!"

Leonardo backed away from him, holding up his hands defensively. "Hey, watch the arm bro! Walking wounded, _I'm walking wounded_!"

"Not yet, but you _will _be when I'm finished!" He retorted, snatching a half-full pie tin off the floor.

His brother had already backed into a wall, and had nowhere left to go. Leo held up his arms and was a good sport about it, letting Donnie get him without a fight. Then wiping his own eyes, he pointed over at the counter where two perfectly good missiles were still intact. Donnie saw them, and then shot a glance at Raph, who was inching toward the door.

"Oh no, no, no! You _can't_ think you're getting out of here." Donatello said mock-threateningly.

"Take it like a man Raph!" Mike shot from the side.

"I don't _see_ any men here." Raph said wryly.

"You know what I mean!"

Raphael ignored him and faced off with Donatello cooly. "Tell y' what bro. If you can _touch _me, you can have your way with me."

"That sounds like a _challenge_." Donnie exclaimed. "And I accept!"

He bore down on his brother with a small leap, and Raphael darted to try and get out of the way. As he tried to move swiftly, his feet shot out from under him on the slippery surface, and he hit the floor _hard_.

"Ow! That doesn't count!"

"Raph, are you okay?"

"Yeah sure, I gotta tough shell."

"Good!" Donatello said evenly, cramming both pies on either side of his head.

"Now that's just low, hittin' a turtle while he's down!" Raph complained.

But he took Donatello's proffered hand, allowing him to haul him upright.

"You learn to take opportunity when it presents itself." Donatello said with a grin, and his brother threw an arm over his shoulder.

"Happy _early_ birthday bro." Raphael told him. "Now go get cleaned up."


	39. Special Delivery

Jenna had been back home in Sydney for close to two months now. On this particular day, she hadn't done very much. It always amused her when other students in the US would ask her what she did during breaks from school, and how much time she'd spent on the beach. She'd been forced to explain the small detail that Australia's seasons were the complete opposite from the United States more times than she could count, making July the middle of _winter_ there.

Right now she was sitting against her headboard, raven hair loose around her shoulders. She blew a stray whisp out of her eyes as she worked on her acoustic, alternating between twisting knobs, and then lightly testing the strings. A knock on the door came a few seconds later, and she instantly looked up from the guitar.

"Come in."

Victoria ducked inside a second later, holding a large mailing envelope.

"Hey babe. You got a package of some kind."

"Thanks Mom - would you just leave it on the dresser? I'll get to it in a few minutes, I just wanna finish tuning this thing."

"_Okay_, but it's from New York."

"Oh _snap_!"

Jenna dropped her guitar instantly on the mattress, probably screwing up every ounce of tuning she'd already completed, but she didn't care. Victoria met her in the middle of the room, handing the mail off to her.

"I _thought_ you'd want to know. Aren't you getting hungry yet?" Victoria asked.

"Kind of, but not really. I'll be down in a little bit, okay? I just wanna see what this is about."

"Take your time." Victoria assured her, and left the room to give her privacy.

Jenna ran and jumped back on her bed, grabbing a pocket knife off of the nightstand. She carefully cut the adhesive to get it open, and reached inside to find another smaller envelope, and a little wrapped package of some kind. She tore into the envelope first, and pulled out a sturdy piece of cardstock with writing.

_Hey Jen - yeah, I'm early, but I wanted to make sure this got to you before your big day. I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you, looking forward to seeing you again. I thought about giving this to you in person, but then decided I just didn't want to wait. Happy Birthday - I love you, and I miss you._

_Donnie_

Jenna's smile was from ear to ear as she set the card aside. She and Donatello's birthdays were very close together, within days of each other. She glanced down at the little package now and tore into the paper, casting it aside. She unwrapped a small velvet box, and opened it very slowly. She caught her breath when she saw the round cut aquamarine stone, set with diamonds on a white gold band. She carefully pried it out of the box, drawing it onto one of her ring fingers experimentally. Perfect. It was absolutely _perfect_.

_That jerk. He better not have spent a fortune on this._

Swiftly she looked at the clock. It was 2:15 in the afternoon, which would make it a quarter after 2am in New York, but she didn't really think he'd mind. Grabbing her cell phone she leaned back against the headboard, and called him up right away.

*****

Donatello jerked awake, and felt around in the dark to find his phone. He noticed that it was Jenna, and smiled to himself for an instant before he answered it.

"Hello?" He said very quietly, hoping not to wake up his brother.

"Hi Don, sorry for calling so late."

"How many times do I have to ask you to stop apologizing for that? What's up Jen, how y' doing?"

"Pretty good actually. I just got a package from the states."

"Oh really?" He asked nonchalantly. "Anything interesting?"

"Donnie it's gorgeous, it's one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen! You _better_ not have broken your bank on me."

"You only turn 21 once, right? Besides, I _had_ to order it, it reminded me so much of your eyes."

"You're a great sweet talker, you know that? I wish you were in front of me right now."

"Really? What would you do?"

"I guess you're just gonna have to use your imagination."

"Hmm..." He said thoughtfully. "Hang on a second, let me just bring up a mental picture. You're in your room, right?"

"Uh huh..."

"It's early afternoon there...I predict you're messing with one of your guitars."

"You either know me too well, or I'm just a creature of stubborn habit. How is everything there? I miss you."

"I miss you too - _all_ the time. It's just kinda been business as usual around here, you know the gang activity tends to pick up when the temperatures rise in the city. We've been pretty busy, but no calamities, thank God. I think the Docs could deal with a little peace for awhile longer."

"You getting ready for _your_ birthday?"

"Oh I'm_ ready _alright - the guys totally ambushed me yesterday morning, so _that_ was fun. I guess that's the price I pay for watchin' so much of the Three Stooges with Mikey when we were kids. Sheesh, I feel like I'm getting old."

"Watch it, I'm older than _you_ are!"

"Have you been busy Jen?"

"Spending a lot of time with my folks. We've traveled the country a bit, spent a couple of weeks in the Blue Mountains. It's so beautiful there, it's almost a shame to come back to the city." She said wistfully. "Anyway. I don't wanna keep you up - I just wanted to say _thank you_. I can't _wait _to see you, and I've already put something in the mail myself."

"I'll tell April to be watching for it. You have a good day, okay? I love you."

"Love you too Donnie. Bye."

He hung up with her, exhaling a small satisfied sigh. He was about to close his eyes again, when Mike's head suddenly popped over the railing.

"Was that your _girlfriend_?" He asked in a sing-song voice.

"I can't think of any other random females that would call me in the middle of the night. Sorry I woke you."

"How _is_ your girlfriend?"

"She's fine - just checking in 'cause she got her birthday present."

"What'd your _girlfriend_ say?"

"Mike would you quit it? Go back to sleep."

"I'd be happy to, if somebody's _girlfriend_ wasn't wakin' me up."

Donnie smacked him in the face with his pillow.

"Go _back_ to sleep Mike!"

* * *

Jenna laughed to herself after she'd hung up with Donnie, as she remembered the stroke of luck that had landed Donatello's birthday present for her. She had traveled with her parents on business to Europe almost immediately after she was finished with classes, and a random visit to one of her father's old friends had picked up quite a find for her.

*****

Michael had been busy talking to one of the officers, and Victoria was in a meeting of her own, leaving Jenna momentarily by herself behind the scenes in the precinct. She'd sat still for awhile, and quickly grown rather bored of it. For the last couple of minutes, she'd been watching box after box of old books being hauled into the room she was waiting in. As they were being dropped off, yet another young officer was beginning to unpack and make records of everything inside.

The men had been friendly towards her, so she finally decided not to test her curiousity any further.

"What are all these for?" She asked the one who was busy cataloging.

"They're confiscated property," He told her. "The case is finally closed, so now they're about to be shipped off."

"You're getting rid of it all you mean?"

"Yup. It's taken up space in the lockers for long enough."

Jenna slowly gazed over the tables already piled with books with keen interest, finally coming to rest upon one in particular that seemed to leap out at her. She picked it up carefully, turning it over in her hands. It was clearly very old, and she had a _hunch _that it was something special. She noticed her father coming, and immediately put it down.

"Hey hon, I'm sorry I kept you waiting so long. Are you ready to get out of here?" He asked her.

"Um, one second Dad. Somebody told me that they're going to be shipping these books off. D'you know where they end up going?"

"I could ask. Are you interested in something?"

She pointed at the copy that she'd only just put down, and he raised his eyebrows.

"I never took you for a Tolkien fan."

"Well it's not _for _me really. Donnie's birthday is coming up, and I haven't really been able to figure anything out yet for him."

"Ah, Mr. 'I can save your life, but I can't meet your family'." He teased her lightly.

"_Please_ Daddy, will you see if we can get it? You can forget about_ my_ birthday completely. I just know he'd love it."

He took one look at her pleading eyes and had to smile. "Alright. Go wait over there, and I'll see what I can do."

As she left, Michael turned around to see where his friend Sam had gone to, and called him over.

"Aren't you going to introduce me to your kid?" Sam asked him.

"In a minute, I actually have a question first. These books, do you know what's about to happen with them?"

"They'll go off to auction in a couple of days. What doesn't sell piece by piece, will then be resold to local bookstores and the like. Why? Have your heart set on something?" His friend asked.

Michael picked up the one Jenna had pointed out to him, holding it up for his friend to see.

"_Good _eye. Are you a collector now?"

"It's not for me exactly, Jenna's the one whose heart is set on it."

"Wrapped around her little finger, are we?"

"You could say that if you like. I'd be willing to pay whatever you think it's worth, it means a lot to her."

"Because it's _you_ Ambassador, we might be able to work something out. Let me talk to my Chief."


	40. Surprises

Editor's Note: This final chapter of Broken is dedicated to one of my best friends, with whom I was recently lamenting my apparent inability to capture the true _essence_ of Mikey. Erin, I took your advice, so this chapter is for you.

* * *

Mike didn't go back to sleep right away - instead he hopped down from the top bunk, and told Donnie he was going to the bathroom. Donatello stared at the mattress above him for a few contemplative moments, imagining Jenna's face in his mind.

_It was only going to be a few more weeks yet_, he reasoned with himself, _she'd be back in New York soon enough._ Time had seemed to pass so agonizingly slowly over the last couple of summers.

Mike had been gone for about ten minutes, when he arrived back at their bedroom door.

"Donnie! Hey Donnie!" He hissed softly through it.

"What?" He called back.

"C'mere, you gotta see this."

Donatello rolled his eyes and got up, quietly joining him in the hall.

"What are you doing?" He asked his brother.

"Look down there." Mike said, pointing over the railing to the living room below, where Raphael was snoring on the couch, the TV casting the only light over the darkened room.

"Raph fell asleep with the TV on again. So what?" Donnie whispered.

"Wanna see something funny?"

Donatello looked behind him, and laid eyes on the biggest water balloon he'd ever _seen_.

"Mike you can't!" He insisted.

"Oh _yes_ I can! Don't you remember how he _sold_ me out yesterday?"

Donnie couldn't hold in a smile now. "Well...there is that I suppose."

"Payback is a kicker, huh?" Mike said with a little chuckle. "Let me get a feel for this."

He tested the weight under both hands, trying to figure out how much force he needed so that he wouldn't overshoot him.

"He's gonna kill you." Donatello warned him.

"He's gonna have to _catch_ me first."

Without further thought, he lobbed the balloon over the railing into the den, making direct contact with Raphael's unprotected chest. He woke up with a mighty gasp from the thorough drenching, and shot upright from the couch even as he rubbed water out of his eyes.

"Bullseye!" Mike said a little too loudly, and Raphael whirled around to see him at the top of the stairs. He was bounding towards him in what seemed to be less than a second.

"_You little cretin_! Yeah, you _better_ run! I'm gonna kick your shell so hard you won't sit for a week!"

He was up the stairs faster than Mike ever could have anticipated.

"Donnie, help me!"

"Sorry Mikey, you _picked_ a fight with Raph, you're on your own bro. I'm going to bed."

"You heard him Mike, now shut your mouth and _take it like a man_." Raph mimicked his younger brother, as he yanked him down the hall.

"Where are we goin'? _Donnie_!"

"You'll find out." Raph said evenly, only tightening his grip when his brother struggled.

"Just remember to let him _breathe_ Raph." Donnie called after him, and Raphael glanced back to wink at him, then turned a fiery glare back on Mike.

"_C'mon_ numbskull, you're in for a taste of yer own medicine." Raph told him crossly and pulled him farther down the hall, and then pushed him into the bathroom. Mike nearly fell, but his brother kept him firmly on his feet, and dragged him across the room. Holding him firmly in an underarm grip, he used his other hand turn on a shower faucet all the way on cold.

"What are you doin'? Get offa me!" Mike yelled at him.

Raph only shook his head, and then shoved his brother under the spray, holding him there for several seconds while he sputtered.

"It's cold, it's cold, it's cold! Lemme go!"

"Raphael, let your brother go this instant." A firm voice startled him out of his wits, and he turned around guiltily to face his Sensei.

Mike emerged like a shot, dashing for a towel.

"I wasn' gonna hurt him Sensei, honest, he _started_ it." Raphael grumbled.

"I do not _care_ who started it, I am going to finish it." Splinter proclaimed with serious irritation, then rubbing his throbbing temples.

_Did I actually just say that?, _he wondered to himself.

"We're sorry Sensei, we were just playin'." Mike spoke up swiftly to explain.

"It is not even 3am. Go to your rooms immediately. We can talk about the extra exercises you have just incurred in _exactly_ three hours." He told them reproachfully.

"Yes Sensei." They said together, though not particularly happy about it.

"Way to get us in trouble bonehead." Mike said under his breath the minute they reached the hall.

"_Who's_ the bonehead?" Raphael countered.

"NOW, my sons!" Splinter ordered from behind them.

_

* * *

_The following days passed pretty slowly for Donatello, with Jenna's 21st birthday coming and going. He was getting anxious to know what on earth she'd sent to him, but April had said more than once she hadn't seen anything yet. The day before his actual birthday, his brothers casually informed him they were going to be celebrating it that night. He was just along for the ride, so he easily agreed to it, if a little curious.

"Okay, so I'm just a little confused. If my birthday's tomorrow, why are we doing this today?" He had to ask.

"Don't you ever get tired of waitin' around for stuff Donnie?" Leo asked with a half smile.

"I guess so. It's all for fun anyway, right?"

"That's right, so sit back and enjoy it. We're gonna take care of everything."

* * *

April arrived around 6pm with a few pizzas, and a brown package under one arm. The other guys immediately took the pizzas off of her to the kitchen, while she sauntered over to Donatello on the couch.

"Got something for you Donnie." She teased, holding the package over him. He grabbed it from her hand faster than she could blink, immediately noticing the postmark.

"April, did this just get to you _today_?" He asked her.

"No," She admitted. "Sorry Don, Jenna asked me to wait."

"Ah, I don't care, I'm just glad it got here okay." He said, and tore promptly into it, pulling out a card first.

_Hey Donnie - _

_You're a hard one to buy for, do you know that? But I just happened to run across something when I was in the UK last month on one of our journeys, and you could say my Dad pulled some strings. I thought it was something you could appreciate. I love you, and I'll see you soon. I'll be back in New York before you know it._

_Jen_

He lightly set her card down on the coffee table, and paused to pull another paper wrapped item out of the package. As he was starting to open it, his brothers came back into the room, and sat down to see what she'd sent to him. The object was clearly a book from the way that it was shaped, but no one was prepared for the reaction it elicited from Donatello. He shot upright from the sofa with a gasp, disbelief in his eyes.

"Oh my gosh!"

"What? What is it Donnie?" Mike asked him.

He didn't answer right away, he was too busy carefully flipping open the worn binding.

"Oh my gosh." He said under his breath again. "1937...oh my word, do you know what this _is_?" Donatello demanded of Raphael, who happened to be the closest to him.

"A book?" He stated obviously.

"It's a _first_ edition! A first edition of the Hobbit! They printed like...like 1500 copies of it that year! This is amazing!"

"I _thought _you'd like that." Someone said from behind him, familiar, but completely unexpected.

He put the book down in slow motion, and turned to look over his shoulder.

"_Jen_!"

He rocketed over the back of the couch, not believing she was standing there in their living room.

"How did you _get_ here?"

"They're called frequent flyer miles Donnie. You see, when one flies half-way across the globe as often as I do, they start to--"

He didn't give her a chance to finish, drawing her in immediately by the waist, and kissed her for a long moment. She relaxed into his embrace, firmly kissing him back.

"It's about time y' know! I think your brothers already _know_ there's something going on here!" She laughed, referring to the fact that he'd never kissed her in front of the guys before.

"I think you just made this the best birthday I've ever had." He said genuinely, and looked down to see the ring that he'd bought for her, adorning a curious finger on her left hand. She caught his glance and simply smiled.

"Just tryin' to send the message that I'm not available Donnie." She said smoothly, and he laughed.

"You are _something_ else. I can't believe you did this."

"I had to try and top you _somehow_, didn't I? So are we having a party, or what?"

Donatello shot a sudden look back at his brothers. "Ya'll _knew_, didn't you?"

"That's the thing about surprises Donnie," Leo said with a laugh. "If they're not _secret_, they're not a surprise."

Donatello shook his head as Splinter finally joined them with a mischievous smile of his own, and then Luke and Marcus ducked inside from the tunnel.

"Thanks guys...thanks a lot."


End file.
